This is my first post, also I'm in the lowest point in my life...I hope to find strength and inspirations soon. Sorry the post is very long.
I'm 33 years old and my DH is in his 40s. The reason that we started on this journey was due to my DH's sperm issues. I have PCOS but no symptoms. With initial 2 cycles, the doctor either overstimulated me or under stimulated me. I have many eggs but the fertilisation rate was low. Transferred both on Day3 and didn't result in positive pregnancy.
The 3rd cycle, we changed to a new clinic doctor in Melbourne. The dr found out I have moderate level of NKC (56) and prescribed me with Dexamethasone. He gave me the same dosage throughout the cycle. I ended up have 2 embryos made it to Day 3. Transferred 2, however didn't stick.
We picked ourselves up and tried cycle No.4. This time, I had mild OHSS so didn't transfer but froze the two embryos. I took 3 months off to recover from all the hormonal treatment. I changed my diet, exercise regular and felt healthy than ever. I finally felt ready to do the transfer, which was 2 weeks ago. it was a good looking embryo. It went on pre-blastocyst stage. During the 2weeks, I felt the embryo's energy and implantation. I was so positive, so certain that there's something going on. But the blood test result showed negative and my period gradually started. It's been 2 days but I still can't pick myself up. It's such a soul torching experience. Before I did the transfer, I went to see another Dr in Melbourne who does things outside of the box. He asked me and my husband did heaps of blood test for immunity. One of the blood tests came back showing I have ENA positive( i think it's part of ANA test). Not sure if it explains why I have multiple failed implications.
I need to go back to the doctor to see if all my other test results about immunity are all normal. If not, we definitely need to find the right doctor to treat my immunity conditions, (NKC, ENA positive) also PCOS without symptoms. I have explored many possible clinics and doctors. i.e Genea, Fertility SA and other doctors here in Melbourne. Although I prefer to be in Melbourne but i'm open to other possibilities. I haven't really found the right doctor who is suitable to our situation.
I feel so hopeless... I'm running out of spirit to see the future with my baby in here. I know they are there but too many failures, heartaches, disappointment and confusions stop me from hoping again. I started to think maybe I don't mean to have children in this life time, maybe I should adopt? What happens if I tried everything and still doesn't work?
I really need some inspirations to keep me going...Ladies, if you have your own inspirational stories, I would love to hear about it. It would really help a 'lost' soul right now....
Thanking you in advance...