I'll try to cut a long story short. I'm in limbo-land with this pregnancy, and if it was any other time of year, I'd probably be slightly less impatient, what will be will be, etc. However, with Xmas looming, I'd really like to be out of limbo before my 15+ relatives arrive at our house next week.
I got my first very feint, early BFP on the 10 November. Since then I've had 3 scans (each a week apart), 3 bHCG blood tests, countless doc appointments and 3 weeks of continuous spotting, which so far hasn't really got worse, but not better, and no explanation as yet. Freaking out much.
First 2 scans showed nothing (suggested I was much earlier than I thought), but HCG was rising normally so hence the subsequent scan to rule out extopic - which they have done, as they saw an interuterine gestational sac (but no visible yolk etc) last week. 4 weeks after my BFP... (HCG day before was 8000).
I'm no medical professional but everything I've read suggests that they should be able to see more than just a sac at over 4 weeks after a positive preg test (would be over 5 weeks since conception?).
However the specialist (OBGYN women's imaging specialist) did not suggest it was a failed pregnancy, saying it could still be fine, sac was measuring 5-6 weeks, and come back in 2 weeks when they'd have to see a HB etc.
Problem is, 2 weeks is Xmas day, and they close this Friday not to open again until 5th Jan. So I'm booked in Jan, however that's 3.5 weeks after my last scan, a long f*&^king time to wait, especially if this is a failed pregnancy.
My first reaction was oh well, I'll have to wait, not much they can do anyway.
However with each day of spotting I can't help feel things aren't quite right, and if this IS a failed pregnancy can someone please confirm this asap and do what needs to be done so I can move on? I am so worried I'll be sitting on the bathroom floor in a pool of blood on xmas day with all my relatives here. I feel like this is just one long, slow miscarriage, teasing me with every passing day as its not definite.
Sorry for the negativity, I've all but lost hope. I feel like no one is listening to me when I question the viability given the dates, its like my first BFP doesn't mean anything (probably because it was a home test, each practitioner just goes off their own notes... suggesting its too early to see, blaming everything from my apparently backward, mis-shapen uterus to possible incorrect dates).
Of course, if there is even the slightest chance things are ok I'd want to give it that chance. But its not my fault the imaging specialist is closing for 2 weeks right when I need them most....
Should I try and get another test before xmas elsewhere? Or is that adding to the stress/confusion (ie could be a totally different person, and from what I've experienced, they'd want to check up on me in a week or so anyway before ruling it failed?)?
Or should I just be patient and let things be, do lots of praying, yoga, meditation and hope for the best?