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  1. #451
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    Dh was never hugely keen to get a playpen but i asked what he wants me to do with ds when i need to use the bathroom, get food etc as he is already on the move (ie moves off his playmat & faceplants onto the tiled floor). So he agreed it would be a good idea.

    However he has always listened to his parents opinions & usually goes with what they say, even though he is an adult & they no longer have a say in his life.

    So yesterday dh asked his dad for help to pick up a playpen as it wont fit in our car. I wasnt there, but apparently fil started saying stuff like 'oh they are very expensive & they take up so much room, i wouldnt get one, we never even baby-proofed with you & you were fine'.

    So now cause what his parents say must be true, it seems we are not getting a playpen 😐

    And thankfully we have already bought the baby proofing stuff & i told dh a tiny white lie, that i have lost the receipt, otherwise we wouldn't be baby proofing either.

    This happens constantly & its so frustrating! Seriously dh you are an adult. When you parents express their opinion you can just listen & move on, you don't have to take it as gospel!!!

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    @heartstringz I think this must be standard with the male species. My DP takes everything his mother says as gospel also and it's drives freaken insane. I wish for once he could think for himself or go with a decision he makes with me; his partner!!!

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    heartstringz  (01-02-2015)

  4. #453
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    This when you ask if his dad is going to watch d's every time you need to go to the loo/get a drink/iron the clothes etc...
    Than every time you want to do something make a deal about giving bub to d's hands. Never on the floor in front of him. If his gaming make sure it is the crucial point of the game. A simple reminder that you and him are the parents and not mil and fil.

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  6. #454
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    I need a break from my own children. I am just exhausted.
    We have a voucher to our favourite restaurant that we want to use, but have no one to watch the kids. Next weekend is out, and the weekend after that df is hopefully doing some work around the farm for my brother.
    So no break for me in the foreseeable future.

    I just had three timtams to compensate. Now I feel yuck.

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    Quote Originally Posted by heartstringz View Post
    Dh was never hugely keen to get a playpen but i asked what he wants me to do with ds when i need to use the bathroom, get food etc as he is already on the move (ie moves off his playmat & faceplants onto the tiled floor). So he agreed it would be a good idea.

    However he has always listened to his parents opinions & usually goes with what they say, even though he is an adult & they no longer have a say in his life.

    So yesterday dh asked his dad for help to pick up a playpen as it wont fit in our car. I wasnt there, but apparently fil started saying stuff like 'oh they are very expensive & they take up so much room, i wouldnt get one, we never even baby-proofed with you & you were fine'.

    So now cause what his parents say must be true, it seems we are not getting a playpen 😐

    And thankfully we have already bought the baby proofing stuff & i told dh a tiny white lie, that i have lost the receipt, otherwise we wouldn't be baby proofing either.

    This happens constantly & its so frustrating! Seriously dh you are an adult. When you parents express their opinion you can just listen & move on, you don't have to take it as gospel!!!
    Hun, the more I think about this the more I think it really will be a huge issue in your life if you stop it now.

    This is not about a playpen but you being respected as the mum. You need to talk this out with dh. What right does he have to allow fil to over rule a decision you and dh made as a parents. If dh changed his mind he needs to talk that through with you.

    While normally it a equal decision over whether you buy something. When it a tool you need to get through the day safely than and you are the one who is doing all day everyday than you say is more important.

    Seriously get this sort red while bub is little or your life will become a living hell. You are the Parent Therefore You Need To Make The Decision Not Your pils.

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  9. #456
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    Quote Originally Posted by heartstringz View Post
    Dh was never hugely keen to get a playpen but i asked what he wants me to do with ds when i need to use the bathroom, get food etc as he is already on the move (ie moves off his playmat & faceplants onto the tiled floor). So he agreed it would be a good idea.

    However he has always listened to his parents opinions & usually goes with what they say, even though he is an adult & they no longer have a say in his life.

    So yesterday dh asked his dad for help to pick up a playpen as it wont fit in our car. I wasnt there, but apparently fil started saying stuff like 'oh they are very expensive & they take up so much room, i wouldnt get one, we never even baby-proofed with you & you were fine'.

    So now cause what his parents say must be true, it seems we are not getting a playpen 😐

    And thankfully we have already bought the baby proofing stuff & i told dh a tiny white lie, that i have lost the receipt, otherwise we wouldn't be baby proofing either.

    This happens constantly & its so frustrating! Seriously dh you are an adult. When you parents express their opinion you can just listen & move on, you don't have to take it as gospel!!!
    It's not their decision, it's yours. I don't understand why they even need to be involved in the process. Buy one online and have it delivered. Postage won't be much and it will save you the hassle.

    In the future, either don't give them the opportunity to be involved in the decision, or explain that you've already made a decision and you're happy with your decision.

    Getting DS a playpen was a sanity saver for us!

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    heartstringz  (01-02-2015)

  11. #457
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    Buying online is a great idea

  12. #458
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    Dh tells his parents pretty much everything 😞 so that is why they are involved. Every decision we make, everything we want to do (buying something, trip away, house renos etc) he always has to tell them so then they always weigh in. Ivevtried talking it out with him & he just doesn't get why he cant 'talk to his parents about things'. So now i just accept its going to happen every time but it still frustrates me.

    Ill see how i go without a playpen for the time being & if its too hard ill just buy one online without even telling dh till it arrives.

  13. #459
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    @Nomsie I would come over and sit with the kids if you guys wanted. I know what's it's like to be at that point and have no one. Thank heavens we're back near family because I was going mental!!

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    I forgot my BH password stupid password! Help!


 

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