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    headoverfeet's Avatar
    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Default Arrival of little Lia, to an ending and a beginning..

    It's been almost a week since little Lia burst into this world and I thought I'd make a start on the story of her arrival. You can read all about our journey until this point in my diary Extreme Babysitting- Story of a Gestational Surrogate.

    39+5 I had a bloody show after lots of crampy cervix pains while walking around the boys school Christmas Fair, I went up to be checked out and all was well.


    Over the next few days nothing happened, barely had a braxton hicks contraction. At this stage I was still unsure if I was willing to be induced as my bishops score was 1 but I let them book me into be induced at 40+2.


    40+2 OB assessment for induction that night. I had decided that I would let them induce me,I figured I could always consent to the gel than refuse the drip and ctg when the time came obviously barring any complications. My plan was to just smile and nod through the appointment. Bishops score was 2 and my OB explained that it would mean several lots of gel to get things going. He said the ward was pretty full so he was still waiting to hear if they had room for me but that I should call him at 4pm if I haven't heard from anyone. 4pm came around and I called the doctors surgery and there was still no room for me, OB assured me he would call me later that evening but it could be as late as 8-10pm. At 9:33pm I called the labour ward as I was falling asleep, scored some rude MW who said it wouldn't be tonight but that she would ask him to call me regarding making an appointment, I said that I was already booked to be induced the next day but that I needed gel overnight...she just said yes, but it wont be tonight. Grr! I ran out of my HG medication that morning and hadn't bothered to refill my prescription as I was booked to be induced.

    40+3 My OB called me and told me they had rebooked me for 41 weeks I was devastated. At this point my PND test was 26 out of a possible 30 and I had hit a downward spiral, I just wanted the hyperemesis to end, I wanted to be a mummy to my kids again. Every day, every hour was torture. I felt bitter and horrid and I couldn't help focusing on how much we as a family had been through. I cried so much. My OB had agreed to give me some fluids that day so off I went to the assessment unit, MW was pretty uncaring..the baby was fine..which don't get me wrong was great..but at this point I felt very much like I was being treated like a vessel. I had a complete meltdown in the unit, sobbing and snot was involved. The MW tried to tell me she knew how hard it was,I asked her if she had gone through 9 months of hyperemesis while being a surrogate? No she said..I told her than she had no f$#&ing idea what it was like!


    40+4


    9:33am I got fuel than I went into see my OB for another assessment for induction and because my hyperemesis had been flaring up the past few days, a combo of stress and running out of the pariet tablets. Things were pretty off when the nurse tested, 2+ ketones, 2+ protein, 2+ UBG and a 3kg weight loss in 4 days (which was all the weight I had gained the entire pregnancy). My OB was called back to the hospital before he could see me so they asked me to follow him up there so he could see me in the assessment unit. I had a bit of a chat with my OB while they did a ctg and he agreed to buff me up with fluids and induce me asap he just wanted me assessed by the shrinks first as my score for PND was so high, either they would keep me at my local hospital or transfer me. As my bishops score was only 2 I knew I would need prostin gel to get anywhere, OB explained that they would insert some at 3pm than check me 6 hourly twice for review and more gel if needed. So I expected her to be born sometime that night or early the next day.


    12:15pm My OB had 2 attempts of putting a cannula into my elbow which was where my veins looked the best, thankfully using some local anaesthetic first as he had to dig around quiet a bit. He than called in the anaesthetist to have a go, he was a bit c0cky about it to start with but it took him until the 3rd go to get one going in the side of my right wrist, also using local...thank god! Am still bruised a week later and it's still tender where the cannula was during labour. All in all a small inconvenience! Nice MW brought me a warm blanket.


    1pm My BFF brought up my bag that I had taken out of the car and left at home along with the expressed colostrum, my phone charger and an ipod. She also brought in some flowers for me as she was going away for the weekend..deserted in my time of need...she will never forgive herself she says lol.


    2pm The shrink sassessed me.


    2:38pm I called my mum asking her if she could come and watch our kiddies that night if I had to call Rob in, they just had to take my nieces to a day care Christmas party but said that would be fine.


    3:15 The shrinks concluded I wasn't insane and that I'd be fine to stay at my local hospital. The MW came to put me back on the CTG as they needed a 20min trace just before doing the gel. I had to hold the heartrate sensor with 1 hand as bub was being tricky, using the other hand to text all the different people my cannula pump beeped at me every time I accidentally bent my wrist, after the first few times I learnt to mute it than how to restart it.


    3:43pm I was still on the CTG, I could hear some woman screaming every few minutes and all I could think was...bring that $h!t on.

    3:44pm she had her baby! Than a PPH...not so good.

    3:56pm I discovered the awesome pool when I went to the loo, it was huge but I had a funny feeling I wasn't going to be allowed to use it.


    4:09pm I was told the gel probably wouldn't be done til about 6pm now as they were helping the woman with the PPH.

    4:13pm I was getting un comfy in my clothes and wanted to change into my nighty, some MW came and rescued me from the IV pump and I changed only to hook me up and have it crack the poops, line change, pump change and she figures out it's blocked in my arm so has to flush it...painful but necessary.


    Somewhere in there my OB was getting a bit antsy as he had a graduation to go to from 5-11pm. My OB signed off to another OB, the one who delivered a close friends baby the beginning of this year, he would do my gel than my OB was hoping to be back in time to do round 2 if needed, I was hoping mightily that he would miss everything as he seemed to want to be very hands on, cord traction and all that rescuing me from myself jazz.


    5:15pm Replacement OB waltzed in wanting to know why we were doing an induction and this ungodly hour on a Friday night, totally wanted to slap him upside the head but I figured this guy was about to shove something up my hoohar so I just politely explained that that was what my OB said needed to be done. I'll tell you that getting gel is not the most comfortable thing and I was kind of beginning to regret being alone, relatively quick but felt like someone was jabbing my cervix with something hard and pointy...which was what was happening. I messaged my 2 Surrogate friends who I'd been chatting to all along “Round 1” along the lines of Mortal Combats “Fight!”


    5:37pm I called my mum asking her to come down straight after the party, I had a feeling that it wasn't going to be as drawn out as they thought.

    5:45pm I posted tome DIG “Hmm ya thing semen stirs things up...you should try this gel lol #probablywhytheyuseit”. I had tightenings straight away every 5-8min, they felt the same way it does when they baby grinds on your cervix, only times 10 in intensity. I had to stay on the CTG for 1 hour after the gel was inserted, it was awful, I just wanted to getup and move! My back was killing me having to lay down. MW came and set me free from the CTG not long after this and I started pacing this little 1m by 1m space next to my too wonky to push IV pole, felt like my fluids were taking forever to run in and since the MW had to change the pump my times were all lost so I didn't have a countdown til freedom.


    6:27pm My hubby calls me asking how to cook pies. Seriously??


    I spend the next 2 hours continuing to pace my little space, twice my IV pump times out,once the MW comes and sets it to go again, the next time I do, with around 200mL to go I make the pump rate really really fast. I have 2 clearing outs in this time, trying to wipe your bum with your non-dominate hand is totally awkward enough without having tightenings every few minutes, sitting on the loo really intensifies them. I try reading my book in the early stage while bouncing on a fitball I find but between updating everyone and the tightenings I can't concentrate, out comes the Ipod, it is awesome and I try to sing along but it too becomes too difficult as I have to hold the pod in my non-dominate hand as to not block my IV while updating people with my IV hand, the pump beeps due to me blocking it all the time, I figure out how to just push the start button again and a MW calls out from the station “your doing awesome with your self care Mirranda!”that gives me a laugh lol. I ditch the Ipod.

    Around 8:30pm my fluid is finally finished and I buzz a MW to come unhook me from the tube and pole- freedom! But I can't have the cannula out- boo! In the end it's the last thing I notice..I kind of guessed it would be. The MW that comes in is awesome, we totally click and I feel confident that she will be supportive, we quickly go through my birthplan, as natural as possible, minimum people in the room due to past trauma,natural 3rd stage and just wanting gas. I warn her I am a fast quiet pusher- when I stop screaming I start pushing and the baby will only be a few minutes.

    Between 8:30 and 9:30 I have another clearing out, I try to feel my own cervix but it's impossible with my non-dominate hand. I now have more freedom and pace the entire room, bounce on the fitball some more and start to wonder what the frick is up with these very frequent and short tightenings, I pray that they are actually doing something, because they feel $h!t,they aren't textbook contractions, there is no build-up they pound on me irregularly like a hammer, they are nothing like my contractions with my other labours, as soon as they begin they end than another one pounds me. Strangely I manage quiet well on my own but I begin to wish Rob was with me again yet I don't want everyone there all night long when they could be resting. MW heats up my wheatpack and it helps a tiny bit, she brings another in for my back later.


    At 21:22pm My doula texts me asking how I am doing, I reply telling her they wont do a VE til 11:20pm despite me asking but not persisting for one. My tightening are coming every few minutes and lasting roughly 30-40 seconds, they hook me back up for another CTG. She asks me if they are surges or cervical pain. I reply telling her that the MW says they are just prostin contractions. She confirms they are planning aVE at 11:20 and we agree that we will wait til than to reassess when she comes in. Being on the bed for this CTG is agony, my trace is crap due to bubs position and MW wonders if she has turned posterior,I have to hold the heartrate monitor again and I wish someone else was there to do it for me. Baby heartrate is high (in the 170s) so I have to stay on longer but she gets 2 baseline readings and is confident that baby is fine. I leap out of that bed and swear to never get back in it!

    I start cursing my MW and her concept of prostin contractions, if these aren't real contractions than I am going to need more than gas, she comes in a some point between 9:30 and 10 and we discuss pain relief, she doesn't want to give me anything else til after the 11:20 check than I can have pethadine if I want, not something I want but if this was going to go all night I knew I would need something.

    20:08pm The tightenings where every 5 min and lasting around 40 seconds. I call Rob and ask him what's happening with my mum, he says my dad arrived and he has already left (later I find out he tries to stop at Maccas for a chocolate thickshake but gives up as the que isn't moving). I go and ask the MW how he is meant to get in and text him to tell him that there is a main buzzer at the entrance, I've already told him to turn left at the gift shop and to take the elevators to the 2nd floor, he texts me back confirming directions, can't this dude just figure it out?? I call him at 22:26pm and as he answers a tightening hits, give him directions again as I can't focus to text.


    22:30pm Rob arrives, I am pacing the room cursing these stupid prostin contractions, more pounding, over and over again, he hugs me, I am leaning over the counter during them he tries rubbing my back, lower I say but wherehe needs to rub is too sensitive and I tell him to stop. More pounding and cursing, I explain prostin contractions to him- they are too close and too short, they need to be longer. MW comes in and I ask for gas, of course she replies! Freaking heck, why didn't I ask earlier?? I'm guessing I wouldn’t of felt comfortable using it without my support people there. I sit on the fitball again trying to time using the gas with these pounding contractions, knowing I need to suck it right at the very buildup..but there isn't any buildup. Hubby asks the MW about coffee (lol!) they ask me if I am ok and I wave them off while sucking down the gas, hubby comes back.

    Right about now I am feeling thankful hubby has had the snip and that I will never have to labour ever again, I tell him this several times during the rest of the labour. I call my doula sometime in here and she laughs at my gas voice, we are still waiting for that VE at 11:20pm. There is lots of my tripping on gas here, I can't time it right and I don't think it's effective, I tell hubby to lay on the bed if he wants, the MW comes in and they try to figure out why the tv isn't working, the remote is flat apparently. I couldn’t careless. Hubby puts on NCIS saying he knows I hate it but he figures I am not watching it, cheeky bugger!


    Still bouncing on the fitball, totally miss sucking on the gas for a contraction and find out that it does actually work, with my head on hubbys arm as he lays on the bed I cry. He strokes my head comforting me. I complain that the tube for the gas when you breath out is too long, it's an effort to breath out, hubby checks it out and explains that it's just tight.Stupid gas valve.
    Last edited by headoverfeet; 15-12-2014 at 16:16.

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  3. #2
    headoverfeet's Avatar
    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    11:15 rolls around and it's time for the all important VE, I really really really do not want to get on the bed, I hope it's better with the gas. It's not. Contraction ends and MW is trying to put on the CTG (no!!!) I ask her if she is going to do a VE now? She says yes but just needs the CTG on first, I tell her to do the VE now between contractions, she reassures me she wont do a VE during one. Another contraction, I reach out for hubby nearly grabbing his crutch, I tell him to keep that area away from me as I'd actually like to use it at some point in the future! He gives me his hand instead. Another contraction. No idea what's happening with the CTG. VE shows I am 3cm and MW tells me I don't need more gel, I glare at hubby saying that I started at 4cm with DS1!! What the actual f#&*. Another contraction. At this point I give up on trying to time the gas with the contractions and just suck in constantly, contractions are on top of one another, the MW asks me if I am feeling pressure a few times and I reply no each time.


    23:36pm Rob texts IM telling her to head here now. Too much gas, I freak and I can't tell if the questions I am being asked are real or not, manage to tell Rob and the MW this and one of them says they are real, they both sound like they are on repeat, flashing strobe light like voices. I'm glaring at hubby pleading with my eyes to be rescued. This is too much. 23:37pm Rob texts my doula that they “don't think she is far off 7cm now”. My knickers are around my ankles, they are pulled off and there goes the blankets and wheatpacks too. IM texts Rob that my doula is picking her up, but should she get there right now? My doula texts back saying that she is on her way and that they will be here “extremely soon”. Transition hits, he knows it, I know it, the MW clicks when I stop screaming and asks if I feel pressure again, no...yes I manage it's 23:37 still. The MW tells Rob to not let me push and dashes out to get the baby arrival tray and to get another MW Rob asks after her how and I tell him to shove his hand up there..but don't actually do that! I drop the gas- pushy now, I can't comprehend how I was just 7cm and now I want to push. I feel burning, splitting, ring of fire, warm liquid gushes out I hope that it's the baby and not my bladder, the MW is trying to pull gloves on the other MW is trying to get me to lower my leg, MW calls out “we have a head visible” 23:39pm IM texts Rob saying “COMING!!”. 23:39pm MW calls out “we have a baby!” nobody catches her, she face plants into the bed in one push, warm goopy babyness. 23:40pm Rob replies to IM “Ummm too late”. I'm still screaming, someone says mec behind baby, I'm trying to ask what colour between screams, someone dumps baby on my chest and I hold her, MW asks me to stop screaming so she can listen to baby breathing, baby is fine, I start screaming again. Too much, I feel completely overwhelmed, too intense, still screaming I'm telling Rob to take photos. 23:41 IM texts Rob “I'm gettong jn tge car”. 23:42pm Someone mentions gushing and asks me about the injection, I tell them if they think they need to do it do it, sharp scratch, something about tugging on the cord, I don't care, I feel too wet- after 2 waterbirths I don't know what too much wet feels like but I can feel it creeping under my thighs, I stop screaming, they ask about cutting the cord and I say only if it needs to be cut otherwise can we just freeze everything else to IM arrives? It's over. 23:44pm I feel uncomfortable, I try to push the placenta out but get told not too, it plops out on it's own, feel so much better. It's put into a bowl and put next to me. I feel bad that everyone else wasn't there, still holding baby, still finishing my job. Everyone is in shock, the MW says that I went from 3cm to 7cm in 22 minutes than 2 minutes from 7cm to baby. At midnight IM arrives with her mum and daughter, Hugs, she cuts the cord and I pass her her baby, she is so happy!


    I feel like I am watching the best reunion ever, my doula arrives and starts taking photos after checking how we all are, I want to go shower, MW tells me she needs me to pee, I know I say. My OB arrives in a fluster, Rob and I notice how he flitters around the room like he feels like he needs to do something, we giggle knowlingly at each other, my poor OB didn't get to do anything hehe. He does check over the baby, she's fine, someone mentions a possibility of a mild tongue tie but IM says she feeds fine. We're told she will need to stay in due to the mec but I'm offered and turn down a 4 hour discharge. I struggle off the bed with everyone still in the room, not the most glamorous thing! Shower, bliss! Trying to pee in the shower...not so easy, had to really focus on letting that one go. I call out for clothes and knickers..hello peeps! I'm dressed and limp back into the room, my bed is stripped so I sit on the chair watching IM and her mother and baby's sister with her. We pack up and walk around to our room, everyone is on a high. At 1:30 someone does a maccas run, I have 2 sandwiches some OJ and water, lots of water, after not being able to have bread and water for so long it's bliss! My hyperemesis is gone and I couldn't be happier.

    IM and I spend 2 nights in hospital together, I really enjoy baby and mummy gazing.


    TBC.

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  5. #3
    Kez277's Avatar
    Kez277 is offline Eldest moving out :( newest on the way :)
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    Default So proud

    So proud of you <3
    I am crying as I read your dream come true!
    I know this was a difficult journey for you and I'm soo bloody sad that I haven't been just down the rd so I could be a bigger part of it! By from the side lines.... May I say that you are such a huge inspiration and a moral compass for me <3 to give the very last that you have to give while still giving is brave strong and loving <3

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    Thanks for sharing. You have done such an amazing thing x

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    Wow awesome story, an absolutely amazing gift you have given xo


 

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