Closed Thread
Page 5 of 9 FirstFirst ... 34567 ... LastLast
Results 41 to 50 of 82
  1. #41
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    2,882
    Thanks
    351
    Thanked
    1,438
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Marigold that is horrible! I can only hope that he was having a bad day and the poor little girl isn't subjected to this everyday, although no matter how bad his day was he should never speak to anyone let alone his child like this. I think I would have done the same as you, I will not put my children at risk of being hurt or seeing me get hurt and if this ar5e snapped so easily over a Santa photo I can only imagine how he would react to having a stranger call him out on his behaviour or even how he would punish the daughter for it in private. However I would have stuck around and maybe watched to see him get into his car and get his license plate details and rang child protective services to voice my concern.

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to loodle For This Useful Post:

    ~Marigold~  (12-12-2014)

  3. #42
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    12,714
    Thanks
    9,561
    Thanked
    12,691
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by Purple Lily View Post
    You can say it all you want and you can think It's absurd all you want I don't really care. I'm pretty sure we all care about the poor little girl but unless you were there then get off your high horse because you have no idea what you would of done if you were in her shoes. You can speculate all you want but you still won't even come close to knowing. Unlike other people I was also trying to be compassionate towards not only the darling little girl but the poor people who had to witness it. I don't give a crap if you think that's ridiculous I just think Marigold deserved a bit of sympathy rather than being badgered about not helping. As I said I'm sure Marigold feels like **** and by the sounds of that guy he is a nasty piece of work but I don't believe marigold deserves to be berated over this by the hero of bubhub who does no wrong. And who the hell said nobody didn't care about the little girls feelings? Did you not read all the replies? Anyway I'm in a pretty crappy place at the moment so to be made to feel like I don't care about a little girl being abused is not something I even care to talk about. I was just showing compassion for everybody involved because let's face it witnessing something like that can haunt somebody. Obviously not the same as what the poor little girl went through but hey you can think they're all monsters I really don't care.
    I understand people make split decisions and they might not always be the best ones. And I'm not going to openly criticise just on that. But ffs I am not going to go out of my way to give my sympathy to someone who is upset they did nothing when a child was being abused.

    And yes, I can say with some degree of confidence that I would have done something. There are a million things that people could have done. "Having a bad day there mate?". "Would you like me to grab you a coffee?" "What a beautiful child you have." "Hey that's enough." Just to name a few.

    And I am sorry you are in a rough place. I never meant to insinuate that anyone on here, including yourself, didn't care at all about the girl. Because you're having a rough trot I am
    Going to ignore the fact you've stooped to personal attacks.
    Last edited by VicPark; 12-12-2014 at 06:16.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to VicPark For This Useful Post:

    CompareTheMeerkat  (12-12-2014)

  5. #43
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    1,869
    Thanks
    879
    Thanked
    1,201
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Jmeleem View Post
    My dad was exactly like this guy and you know what my siblings and i did have strangers stick up for us and guess what happened...we copped it when we got home because he was humiliated by a stranger "because" of us.
    Its not always so cut and dry and sometimes sticking up for the child makes the situation for the child alot worse.
    My experience was a little different. After a while I became immune to the abuse but when people stood up for my sister and I, it taught me a valuable lesson- that my father's behaviour was unacceptable and I was deserved of better treatment. It always created a doubt in my mind that he was a horrible man who was not always correct in what he said.

    I don't usually agree with Vic Park but I think it is important that we don't become complacent as a community and that we do talk about it even if it does upset others. Maybe because I have minimal fear as an adult means I would be able to think quickly and respond. I understand the fear feeling keeps us stuck for a few seconds and we find we do nothing. I was walking along a promenade with my ds in a pram when a man started punching his son (aged about 13) repeatedly on the sand. There were probably 15 people watching but no one said or did anything. I asked an older woman to watch my pram and I intervened from a distance. The man did stop punching the boy and walked away. I couldn't stand there doing nothing because the neck sickening punch could have killed the child.

  6. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to BbBbBh For This Useful Post:

    LaDiDah  (12-12-2014),Lincolns mummy  (12-12-2014),MummaCat  (12-12-2014),onionskin  (12-12-2014),VicPark  (12-12-2014)

  7. #44
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    7,242
    Thanks
    5,043
    Thanked
    3,637
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    1000 posts in a week500 Posts in a week
    750 Posts in a week400 Posts in a weekBusiest Member of the Week - week ended 12/2/15Busiest Member of the Week300 posts in a week

    Default So upset right now

    Wow, the stories in this thread made me feel horribly sad. I'd like to think that I would say something in those situations but I can't say for sure. I do worry that as a society we do have this "mind your own business" mentality. That being said, it's there because there is a serious concern about personal safety. I truly think the best course of action here would've been to get his car plate number and as much information as you could and report him to DOCS. They have the authority to investigate and actually do something which is more useful than any direct censure from a stranger in the library. It's so hard when you're in that moment to think clearly, then the moment passes and you're left wishing you'd done something differently.
    Last edited by Apple iPhart6; 12-12-2014 at 08:12.

  8. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Apple iPhart6 For This Useful Post:

    Purple Lily  (12-12-2014),snowqu33n  (12-12-2014),~Marigold~  (12-12-2014)

  9. #45
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    1,895
    Thanks
    627
    Thanked
    756
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    It's easy for some hubbers to say "I would have said or done x, y, z" because they didn't find themselves suddenly and unexpectedly in this situation with no time to think it through with their own little one to think of. And what did this guy look like? Your average well dressed father or some 6 foot, bulky, tattooed scary looking guy?! I know I'd be less inclined to approach an agro guy who also looks intimidating by his appearance.
    It's unfair that the op was faced with this situation and is now made to feel guilty for her actions. Let's slam the guy instead and discuss ways that situations like this can be dealt with, such as getting the car rego and reporting him to the appropriate authorities who are there to deal with people like this.

  10. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to babyblu11 For This Useful Post:

    amyd  (12-12-2014),PinkPink  (12-12-2014),Purple Lily  (12-12-2014),snowqu33n  (12-12-2014),Star Light  (12-12-2014),TheGooch  (12-12-2014),~Marigold~  (12-12-2014)

  11. #46
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    7,668
    Thanks
    5,719
    Thanked
    3,068
    Reviews
    25
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I understand people make split decisions and they might not always be the best ones. And I'm not going to openly criticise just on that. But ffs I am not going to go out of my way to give my sympathy to someone who is upset they did nothing when a child was being abused.

    And yes, I can say with some degree of confidence that I would have done something. There are a million things that people could have done. "Having a bad day there mate?". "Would you like me to grab you a coffee?" "What a beautiful child you have." "Hey that's enough." Just to name a few.

    And I am sorry you are in a rough place. I never meant to insinuate that anyone on here, including yourself, didn't care at all about the girl. Because you're having a rough trot I am
    Going to ignore the fact you've stooped to personal attacks.
    I just don't think any of us were going out of our way. Marigold was upset at what she saw and rightly so, people said how awful it was and told her not to beat herself up. It's awful to see a child being abused and not be able to sweep them up and give them a huge hug. Obviously not as bad as being the victim (not even close) but saying something could have meant he lashed out further. If that's what he was doing in a library full of people over a Santa photo I hate to imagine what he would of done to her had he of been approached by a stranger. And it wasn't a personal attack. I'm in a pretty bad place at the moment but I still don't go attacking others. It was a joke playing on from the fact that you consider yourself to have big pineapples. And I was drawing your attention to a post shared by a brave person who has personally been through it. It's just not as black and white as some people are treating it. But I will apologise for making you feel attacked as that wasn't my intentions at all. Anybody who knows me knows I'm not like that.

    And I'm sorry people are offended that I think the people who saw it happen deserve some sympathy as well. That doesn't take anything away from the poor little girl because she deserves so much more. I just can't imagine seeing that happen so yes I feel sorry for the people and their children who saw it. The fact that people stopped and noticed means that we aren't as complacent as you're saying. I bet pretty much everybody there wanted to do something. Half those people could of reported it to DOCs for all we know which would have to be the safest option for everybody.
    Last edited by Purple Lily; 12-12-2014 at 08:40.

  12. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Purple Lily For This Useful Post:

    amyd  (12-12-2014),GlitterFarts  (12-12-2014),peanutmonkey  (12-12-2014),~Marigold~  (12-12-2014)

  13. #47
    harvs's Avatar
    harvs is offline Winner 2014 - Spirit of BubHub Award
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    9,997
    Thanks
    6,239
    Thanked
    15,895
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/4/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 2/4/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 19/3/15Busiest Member of the Week200 Posts in a week
    But I don't think it's mutually exclusive - you can feel sympathy for the girl and compassion for the people that witnessed this at the same time. It doesn't mean we feel less sympathy for the girl.

    In my first year out teaching I witnessed one of our 18 year old students bash up a 13 year old. I was on yard duty and I knew it was coming as she was walking menacingly towards the other girl with her fists raised. In that split second I was frozen in fear thinking fifty different things ranging from 'oh shiiit' to seriously considering running in there and putting myself in between the two. In that moment it took me it was too late to do anything. I felt awful for the girl and I felt guilty that I hadn't done anything. It was the first time I'd seen anything like that. No I didn't do anything until after the fact but the other staff didn't berate me and make me feel worse about it, they helped me talk through the incident because I was distraught about it. I know now what I could have done but I didn't know at the time, and it still may have escalated the situation. I just don't know.

    I was also once assaulted on a train with a carriage full of passengers and not one person stepped in, spoke up or anything. I imagine they were all thinking 'thank god that's not me'. For the most part it's human nature. But I imagine a few people might have gone home and mentioned it and said that it felt upsetting for them because they needed to talk through their feelings with someone. Which I think was the point of this post.

    In my work I've seen parents screaming at their kids, and because of my role as a teacher I've felt comfortable to comment, maybe with a gentle hand on the arm and a 'calm down' or offering help. But I know these parents. I have a relationship with them and I know how to talk to the different parents at their level. But a stranger if I had DS with me? It adds a whole different element.

    I'm truly glad there are people in society who would feel as though they have the guts to step in, but can we just accept that we aren't all wired that way?

  14. The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to harvs For This Useful Post:

    amyd  (12-12-2014),atomicmama  (12-12-2014),Dreamer1  (12-12-2014),HeavenBlue  (12-12-2014),littlelove  (12-12-2014),Ngaiz  (12-12-2014),peanutmonkey  (12-12-2014),Purple Lily  (12-12-2014),Star Light  (12-12-2014),TheGooch  (12-12-2014),~Marigold~  (12-12-2014)

  15. #48
    ~Marigold~'s Avatar
    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    7,039
    Thanks
    9,662
    Thanked
    4,985
    Reviews
    7
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    @VicPark where did I ask for you to show me sympathy?? That wasn't the point of this thread, to gain sympathy. Where did I ask you to feel sorry for me? I witnessed something horrible and came on here to share it. Cos that's what we do here, don't we?
    I've been around for a while now and consider this place to be a bit of an outlet for me, as many of us do. I guarantee everyone who saw what I did yesterday went home and told their friends and family, because what we saw was abnormal and really disgusting. I told my mum, my DH and neither of them said "I can't believe none of you said anything!" Cos, well, you just don't kick a person when they're down, right?

  16. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to ~Marigold~ For This Useful Post:

    GlitterFarts  (12-12-2014),HeavenBlue  (12-12-2014),peanutmonkey  (12-12-2014),Purple Lily  (12-12-2014)

  17. #49
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    189
    Thanks
    220
    Thanked
    122
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by babyblu11 View Post
    It's easy for some hubbers to say "I would have said or done x, y, z" because they didn't find themselves suddenly and unexpectedly in this situation with no time to think it through with their own little one to think of. And what did this guy look like? Your average well dressed father or some 6 foot, bulky, tattooed scary looking guy?! I know I'd be less inclined to approach an agro guy who also looks intimidating by his appearance.
    It's unfair that the op was faced with this situation and is now made to feel guilty for her actions. Let's slam the guy instead and discuss ways that situations like this can be dealt with, such as getting the car rego and reporting him to the appropriate authorities who are there to deal with people like this.
    Was just going to say the same thing.

    Marigold- please don't let comments in this thread upset you. You did exactly what any of us would have done and I'm so glad you shared this post- in another thread about Christmas cheer a number of posters brought up how stressful this time of year is for people in relation to domestic violence, suicide, depression and you've witnessed that first hand.

    Kindness is in short supply

  18. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to PinkPink For This Useful Post:

    amyd  (12-12-2014),~Marigold~  (12-12-2014)

  19. #50
    Mod-Nomsie's Avatar
    Mod-Nomsie is offline Administrator
    Winner 2009/10/11/12/13 - Most helpful Moderator
    Winner 2011 - Naughtiest/Cheekiest Mod
    Winner - Quickest 'Thanker' on the Hub
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Vic
    Posts
    23,657
    Thanks
    6,899
    Thanked
    7,027
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    200 Posts in a week100 Posts in a weekBusiest Member of the Week - week ended 15/1/15
    Please refrain from personal attacks. I feel those who read this thread could really learn from the discussion here, and I would hate for it to be deleted because we can't be adults about it.


  20. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Mod-Nomsie For This Useful Post:

    beebs  (12-12-2014),DesperatelySeekingSleep  (12-12-2014),Mod-Uniquey  (12-12-2014),palegreyeyes222  (12-12-2014),Purple Lily  (12-12-2014)


 
Closed Thread
Page 5 of 9 FirstFirst ... 34567 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Am I Being OTT Upset?
    By tazz475 in forum General Chat
    Replies: 32
    Last Post: 04-12-2014, 20:25
  2. Would you have been upset?
    By loislane2010 in forum Pro Non-Vaxxing
    Replies: 116
    Last Post: 11-08-2014, 01:06

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Pyjamas.com.au
With so many gorgeous brands and styles for every season, our pyjamas, nighties, robes, sleepsuits and sleeping bags are lovely for lights out and perfect for lazy days. Get 10% off first order using code bubhub. Be quick offer ends 31/12/16.
sales & new stuffsee all
CarmelsBeautySecrets
Growing your own natural nails is easy. Years ago, I devised a simple and very effective technique which really helps boosts the nails' growth in as little as three days! And most importantly keeps them that way.
featured supporter
Heinz Baby Basics
Our BPA Free range offers you a choice for every stage of your baby’s feeding development. You’ll love our brilliant colours, inspired designs and innovative features. Heinz Baby Basics caters for your baby’s needs!
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!