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  1. #31
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    Ugh reading those words he spoke to her made me crumple, I can't begin to imagine how awful the little girl felt. I want to cry for her. What a pig. I wonder what the family situation is. And the story of the lady witnessing the girl getting hit in the toilets!!! I can't get that out of my head. I feel awful for these kids. I imagine that its playing on repeat in your mind.

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  3. #32
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    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    After the librarians half arsed effort why didn't someone speak up on behalf of the poor kid? Silently Tut-tutting doesn't accomplish anything. Poor kid.
    You know why? Because we live in a society where we're brought up to mind our own business. I'm not saying that's ideal but it is sometimes human nature to err. I thought the way he was speaking to his child was despicable, but the world is full of numb skulls and deadbeat parents and given that he was chastising his daughter I thought, in the couple of minutes the whole thing unfolded, can I say something?? Is this guy for real? I was dumbfounded and in shock as he went on and on and, like I said, felt my blood boil and heart race and was literally in disbelief. He made me nervous, he seemed off in a world of his own. There were, maybe 10-15 of us in the room, all watching this surreal situation unfold and I think we were dumbstruck and wondered what line had to be crossed before someone was that little girl's hero. And I think the librarian, cautious as to possibly aggravating the situation further, did a great job with her approach to the child.
    In hindsight, yeah I do wish I'd said something. I wished that the second I left.
    So go ahead and speculate as to whether or not I had the "pineapples" like you would have, @VicPark and @lincolnsmummy, if it makes you feel superior. So unhelpful and unnecessary but you're entitled to do so ladies, I know how I felt and how in a split second one can make a decision, question your position etc and leave with your heart in your throat.
    Last edited by Mod-Nomsie; 12-12-2014 at 05:23. Reason: Referring to edited post

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  5. #33
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    Hugs OP. I would have most likely done the same as you. I'm terrified of confrontation with a stranger, especially a male, and especially if my daughter is with me. You have to weigh up the situation in a moment and decide whether it's worth the risk of getting involved when you have your own little one to protect. We can't all be there to save the day. This mans behaviour is disgraceful and abusive. I feel so terrible for the little girl. It does make you wonder what happens behind closed doors. I actually doubt that speaking up against this guy would change his ways. He's obviously a douche bag who doesn't care who sees or hears him behaving in an abusive manner.
    With witnessing such an event I can understand how stressful it can leave you feeling. You did nothing wrong op. Yes, it would have been fabulous for someone to speak up to this guy, but I wouldn't expect someone to do that.

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  7. #34
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    Horrible. Why are some parents so insistent on getting their kid to have a photo of Santa in the first place? That's a real bug bear of mine, especially really little kids who are clearly terrified of him. I know I used to be! Why put them through it when you don't have to? But then to carry on and ridicule them afterwards like this man has done just makes me feel physically ill. I probably wouldn't have said anything either (especially if I had DS with me) but I would have done my best to catch his eye and give him an almighty glare. Unfortunately it's probably just the tip of the iceberg.

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  9. #35
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    [QUOTE=~Marigold~;8029719]
    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    After the librarians half arsed effort why didn't someone speak up on behalf of the poor kid? Silently Tut-tutting doesn't accomplish anything.
    QUOTE]

    You know why? Because we live in a society where we're brought up to mind our own business. I'm not saying that's ideal but it is sometimes human nature to err. I thought the way he was speaking to his child was despicable, but the world is full of numb skulls and deadbeat parents and given that he was chastising his daughter I thought, in the couple of minutes the whole thing unfolded, can I say something?? Is this guy for real? I was dumbfounded and in shock as he went on and on and, like I said, felt my blood boil and heart race and was literally in disbelief. He made me nervous, he seemed off in a world of his own. There were, maybe 10-15 of us in the room, all watching this surreal situation unfold and I think we were dumbstruck and wondered what line had to be crossed before someone was that little girl's hero. And I think the librarian, cautious as to possibly aggravating the situation further, did a great job with her approach to the child.
    In hindsight, yeah I do wish I'd said something. I wished that the second I left.
    So go ahead and speculate as to whether or not I had the "pineapples" like you would have, @VicPark and @lincolnsmummy, if it makes you feel superior. So unhelpful and unnecessary but you're entitled to do so ladies, I know how I felt and how in a split second one can make a decision, question your position etc and leave with your heart in your throat.
    Its not about feeling superior, its about standing up for a child. A child that is clearly being abused.
    You made a split second decision and there is nothing wrong with that. I was just stating that I find it sad that an entire room of people (not just you and I am not singling you out at all) stood by and watched.
    Last edited by Mod-Uniquey; 12-12-2014 at 18:06. Reason: Ref to edited post

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  11. #36
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    Do you realise how much worse the situation could have been if someone did speak up? The child would likely be abused much much worse in public for embarrassing the father.

    In situations like this, I personally think the best thing to do is remember details and perhaps try to get a glimpse at the registration on the persons car or something and make a report to docs. The more details the better, especially if you heard the little girls name etc.

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  13. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lincolns mummy View Post
    Its not about feeling superior, its about standing up for a child. A child that is clearly being abused.
    You made a split second decision and there is nothing wrong with that. I was just stating that I find it sad that an entire room of people (not just you and I am not singling you out at all) stood by and watched.
    A lot of people would have stood by at watched because they just don't know how deranged this lunatic really is. He could have attacked anybody who dared confront him when they went outside even. It really can be scary and until there is a situation right in front of you - it is enough to make you back off.. how many times have we heard of someone trying to stand up for someone and something bad happening to the 'hero? Especially if my kids are with me, I'm sorry then I will not endanger them in any way possible, as much as I hate not standing up to the person.

    Marigold it's terrible that you saw what you did and I really feel for the little girl what a pig that man is - a poor excuse for a father.

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  15. #38
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    Just wanted to add another perspective here as well; @VicPark you mentioned that "quietly tut tutting" achieves nothing. What, exactly, would my pulling this guy up have achieved, do you reckon? I dare say very little- nothing positive, anyway. Someone that deranged is not going to go, "Hmmm, thanks for pointing out my shiit parenting, stranger lady, I'll try a different approach next time"... ? As others have mentioned, if anything, I'd have copped abuse and I'm sure his anger would be directed at his daughter more so the minute they were alone. Besides having my own little one by my side, his little girl resorted to holding onto the very leg of the father who was causing her dismay the moment the librarian spoke to her so you can only imagine the damage seeing her dad getting into a verbal argument with me or anyone else would have done to her already fragile state. There are no winners here. I can only hope beyond hope that this man was having an extremely bad day and his daughter is never again subjected to such a sick display of public humiliation.

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  17. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    What... We're not allowed to say we think it's terrible no-one really stood up for a kid being abused? Just because the people that did nothing might feel bad? Really? Sorry that's just absurd! What about the poor kid being abused, that's who's feelings we should be worried about!
    You can say it all you want and you can think It's absurd all you want I don't really care. I'm pretty sure we all care about the poor little girl but unless you were there then get off your high horse because you have no idea what you would of done if you were in her shoes. You can speculate all you want but you still won't even come close to knowing. Unlike other people I was also trying to be compassionate towards not only the darling little girl but the poor people who had to witness it. I don't give a crap if you think that's ridiculous I just think Marigold deserved a bit of sympathy rather than being badgered about not helping. As I said I'm sure Marigold feels like **** and by the sounds of that guy he is a nasty piece of work but I don't believe marigold deserves to be berated over this by the hero of bubhub who does no wrong. And who the hell said nobody didn't care about the little girls feelings? Did you not read all the replies? Anyway I'm in a pretty crappy place at the moment so to be made to feel like I don't care about a little girl being abused is not something I even care to talk about. I was just showing compassion for everybody involved because let's face it witnessing something like that can haunt somebody. Obviously not the same as what the poor little girl went through but hey you can think they're all monsters I really don't care.
    Last edited by Purple Lily; 11-12-2014 at 23:17.

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  19. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jmeleem View Post
    My dad was exactly like this guy and you know what my siblings and i did have strangers stick up for us and guess what happened...we copped it when we got home because he was humiliated by a stranger "because" of us.
    Its not always so cut and dry and sometimes sticking up for the child makes the situation for the child alot worse.
    So Vicpark did you actually read this or are you too busy playing with your giant pineapples?

    Jmeleem I'm so sorry you had to go through that

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