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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by ~Marigold~ View Post
    I haven't been so affected by something like this in a long time, I have not been able to get it out of my mind. I wrestled with myself and beat myself up the moment I left, but seeing the librarian assisting and my own DD beginning to get restless I left.
    Not voicing my opinion there and then wasn't a decision I took lightly or even myself agreed with; I WAS livid, repulsed and felt my heart racing at the prospect of saying something... I lingered around and held my tongue and had images of him following me out to my car... it was just terrible and my heart is bleeding for that child and I hope her mother realises the extent of the damage that man is causing their baby girl.
    I certainly wasn't trying to make you feel bad. I have been in a parent's room alone with my baby (and no pram) and watched a mother march her daughter in to the toilet and then start whacking her repeatedly. I stood frozen. I was alone with my baby and had nowhere to put her if this woman starting whacking me if I stood up for her daughter. I found my feet and marched out of there and ran to search for a security guard. Of course when they went she was gone. I felt awful about it for days afterwards and went through all the things I should have done so that this girl got help before her mother walked away.
    It's this incident that makes me quicker to act in situations like yours. I imagine you will never forget this incident, but it possibly will change the way you react in a situation in the future. And btw, I would have been worried that he'd follow me to my car too...so I would have stayed in the library until he left! I am more inclined to stand up for people, but I'm still a big scaredy cat

    ETA - given this was at the library, maybe you'll run in to this man and his daughter again and you can say something really positive to the little girl and build her self esteem up a bit (not about Santa...just pick something that relates to what she is doing that day). It doesn't matter what you say, if she spends her life being belittled by her father, and watches her mother being belittled, she'll probably remember those words forever. I don't even know what the girl or the mother looked like who was whacking her daughter because I thought nothing of a mum and daughter going to the toilet until I heard her hitting her behind the locked door so I will never be able to help her. It's been years, and I can still hear the whacks as clear as anything when I think about it.
    Last edited by Full House; 11-12-2014 at 14:30.

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  3. #22
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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    what a terrible thing to witness. I feel so sad for the little one and for marigold. it is such a sad world we live in sometimes. I wonder if this man should be on some sort of watch list, for the library. They have zero tolerance signs just about everywhere you go now, how no level of abuse will be tolerated. I would hope that any sign like that would not only apply to treatment of staff. marigold be watchful if he is ever near you, he could be one of your near neighbours? hugs, marie.

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  5. #23
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    poor little girl reminds me of a swimming lesson we had the other day, there I was showering my 2 kids and baby in the open communal shower and there was a mother showering her son (I guessed he looked about 10) he certainly wasn't small and he was refusing to have a shower, and had soap in his eyes, and he kept walking off in the opposite direction to wipe his eyes on the towel that was on the hook opposite them - and the mother kept pulling him back and telling him ''to get over it'' - he was teary and obviously hated the shower.. suddenly started screaming at him, (and I mean like a lunatic) shoving him and smacking him whilst he was naked.. of course he was sobbing.. I had already told her he had soap in his eyes and to give him goggles if he's scared, (completely ignored me) and she absolutely hooked into him... at this point I moved well away as she gave me a fright plus I was holding the baby, but everyone stopped to look at her and she didn't even care. I felt so sorry for the boy who was crying, naked and embarrassed & had hand marks all over him...I felt like crying for him... I really wish I could have said more or even anyone else as there were plenty of men about but she came across as a lunatic. I really think ppl were afraid.

  6. #24
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    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    @Minchi how horrific
    Wtf is wrong with people?! Poor darling.

  7. #25
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    harvs is offline Winner 2014 - Spirit of BubHub Award
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    :-( these stories are breaking my heart. I think it's easy to imagine what we'd like to say or do in a hypothetical situation, but in the moment, especially with our own children it's perfectly reasonable to feel fear or the desire to protect ourselves. Particularly when you don't know a person and what they are capable of. It's human nature.
    @~Marigold~ I hope you aren't feeling bad like you should have/could have done something. I know no one on this thread would have meant to imply that :-) I completely understand why you didn't. How heartbreaking for you, and that poor little girl too x

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  9. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lincolns mummy View Post
    I wasn't guilt tripping you. I just find it sad no one in an entire group of people had the guts to stand up for a little girl being berated.
    Yes I would have said something and have done so in the past. There is not really an excuse not to stand up for a child in my opinion.
    My dad was exactly like this guy and you know what my siblings and i did have strangers stick up for us and guess what happened...we copped it when we got home because he was humiliated by a stranger "because" of us.
    Its not always so cut and dry and sometimes sticking up for the child makes the situation for the child alot worse.

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  11. #27
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    I wonder what he says to her when no one is listening then?! Sickening. People just don't understand the damage they are doing to their children. Poor child.

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  13. #28
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    After the librarians half arsed effort why didn't someone speak up on behalf of the poor kid? Silently Tut-tutting doesn't accomplish anything. Poor kid.
    Last edited by Mod-Nomsie; 12-12-2014 at 05:22. Reason: You have been warned....!

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    Oh god, that poor little girl. My father was exactly the same towards me growing up, its really soul crushing. I still have confidence & self esteem issues from it.

    I don't understand why some parents get so full on about the whole santa thing, nobody NEEDS to sit on their lap, they can watch from a distance, have a closer look or just have a chat. I only have two pictures of DS with santa, one when he was 6 months old, and last years one when he was 4.5.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Purple Lily View Post
    Considering how upset and disturbed Marigold is about what she saw can we maybe not make her feel bad because you would have done differently. I'm pretty sure she feels ****ty enough as it is.
    What... We're not allowed to say we think it's terrible no-one really stood up for a kid being abused? Just because the people that did nothing might feel bad? Really? Sorry that's just absurd! What about the poor kid being abused, that's who's feelings we should be worried about!

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