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  1. #41
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    Default Wow... Is this one of life's hardest decisions....

    Quote Originally Posted by Bambiwantsababy View Post

    What a load of shxt I wasn't guilt tripping anyone just giving my opinion. That is, after all what she asked for.
    Actually OP didn't ask whether we believe life begins at conception or not. I can see you meant well with the example that you provided, but surely you can see that your other thoughts could distress someone who is already in a distressing situation?

    OP, while I haven't terminated myself I did come very close to terminating my pregnancy. I was in emotional torment when I considered it, whereas I felt scared but calm when I considered keeping my child. I went purely by gut. Whatever you choose, I wish you well and hope you can be at peace either way.
    Last edited by Mod-Uniquey; 12-12-2014 at 12:58.

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  3. #42
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    Closed for review.

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    We are re-opening this thread, however please keep in mind that the OP stated that she needs to make 'One of life's hardest decisions' and therefore needs guidance and support. Please keep this in mind when you post.

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  6. #44
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    Hi OP
    Sorry you've found yourself in such a rubbish situation :-( when I was younger I always said I would terminate if we got preg before we were ready and I was fully prepared to do that. However, now that I know how hard it can be to fall pregnant I am honestly not sure what I would do anymore. If I was in your situation I think my first step would be pros and cons of having the child. Try and look at it as thoroughly as you can. How would it affect you financially - School, cars, house, celebrations? How would it affect the time you get to spend with your other children? Would it impact them negatively or would another one slot in quite easily? Are you certain you would never want another child? If you aren't 100% sure in your heart do you think you will drag that regret with you if you were to abort? Will it cause any resentment - towards yourself/partner if you abort or towards the child if you keep it and struggle?

    I think you should also maybe have a read of topics that have been started by members asking about going from 3 children to 4. Is there anything that people have mentioned in them that would be a complete disaster for your family?

    Huge hugs, this must be a really emotional time for you and I can't even imagine how you must be feeling. I really hope you manage to come to a decision that feels right for you. XXXX

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  8. #45
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    What a huge decision. Im a big believer on going with your gut feeling. I feel like i usually 'know' what the right thing to do for me is deep down. This cant be easy I think you and your DH should sit down with a wine and write a list, discuss pros, cons and how you genuinely feel. Good luck OP, and big hugs xx

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    I am a late comer to this thread I can only guess why it was closed, cleaned up and re-opened.

    OP you asked for ideas on what type of things you need to talk about with your hubby. Personally I think you need to talk about the big hard gut wrenching issues that probably contributed to this thread being temporarily shut down (eg the old "when does life start" type questions). If you don't and go through with an abortion you may very well live to regret it (just like my good friend whose abortion still haunts her to this day).

    Best of luck whatever you decide.

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    I agree with you @Ponytail 100%

    We all know this is an emotive subject op - but at the end of the day, no one else has to live your life. I would even suggest getting hold of an independent every day counsellor - just someone completely impartial to bounce ideas off. There are plenty of people out there who advertise non biased counselling but are anything but.

    Good luck.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ponytail View Post
    I don't think pro-lifers have any business posting on this section of the board.
    People come here for support and advice not to be guilted and emotionally tortured during their decision making process.
    Pro-choice does not equal pro-abortion, it's a judgement free movement empowering a woman's right to choose.
    I had an abortion when I was 19 for a multitude of reasons and I do not regret it for one second. The clinics, doctors and counsellors were all amazing and supportive never once trying to sway or pressure me one way or the other.

    Good luck OP. Do what is right for you and your family. Plus, you do not have to tell anyone what your final decision is, I hope you are okay x

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  13. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Party of Three View Post
    What a guilt filled post the first half of this is. The OP doesn't need you guilting her at this point why she makes the hardest decision of her life. Really uncool.

    ETA - that quote went weird. Obviously meant to quote @Bambiwantsababy
    Failure to think about the gut wrenching issues now might lead to regret down the track.

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Failure to think about the gut wrenching issues now might lead to regret down the track.
    With all due respect, as you did not see what was written you aren't in a place to comment about my reply to text that has been removed from this thread.

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    Thanks for the continued responses...

    We are still working through this, and I appreciate this is a sensitive topic to raise, and therefore can divide any group of people.

    I will state that I am pro choice (but as another poster said, this does not mean I am pro abortion necessarily), but I fully understand others passion to share their beliefs.

    I suppose what I was looking for (and I apologise if this wasn't clear in the original post), was suggestions of how to go through this gut wrenching process of deciding.

    Some great practical ideas have come out of here, and I think it has been quite helpful in making me have an idea of where to start (rather than just sitting here thinking it is all too much to contemplate).

    Ladida - I would love to look at the "going from 3 to 4" threads, but it seems that my ability to browse the forum is not that good. Can anyone suggest what section I might find this?

    Again, thanks for taking the time.
    Me


 

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