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  1. #31
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    tazz475 is offline Holy banjo, check out boob mountain!
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    Default Wow... Is this one of life's hardest decisions....

    I too had a termination when I was extremely young. I don't regret it for a second and the counsellors were fantastic and very thorough. They never once tried to pressure me into terminating, in fact it was almost the opposite, I can't count on my fingers and toes how many times they asked if I was absolutely sure about my decision. Sometimes you just aren't ready or you know you couldn't give that child the life that it deserves, I know I couldn't have raised and supported a baby at the age of 14.

    ETA: I'm in no way trying to sway your decision, I'm just trying to get across that the support is there if you need it.

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    I can also say that I have been at an abortion clinic in tears unsure and been pushed through. I have been verbally abused by a clinic worker at another place for changing my mind and canceling an appointment. I'm not against anybody's right to chose but I know both sides better than most. I've done both more than a few times. I'm
    Not talking out if my ***. A child is forever but so is an abortion.

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    I was in a similar situation to you recently. I chose to keep the baby. She was born when my older baby was just 13 months old. She's now 7 1/2 months and is the absolute light of my life, I adore her and couldn't imagine life without her.

    I won't lie, those first few months were HARD !

    I think you need to do what is best for your family but don't be put off because of the small age gap, it gets easier as they get older.

  5. #34
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    Come on guys... this thread is supposed to be a helpful and supportive place for OP to ask questions and feel safe, not a place to put her under more pressure than she already is.

    Back to op's question/topic...

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    [QUOTE=Party of Three;8030046]
    Quote Originally Posted by Bambiwantsababy View Post

    What a guilt filled post the first half of this is. The OP doesn't need you guilting her at this point why she makes the hardest decision of her life. Really uncool.

    ETA - that quote went weird. Obviously meant to quote @Bambiwantsababy
    What a load of shxt I wasn't guilt tripping anyone just giving my opinion. That is, after all what she asked for.

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    I had an abortion at 19 and at first it hurt. But i know it was the right thing for me at the time. I dont regret it at all. It was the hardest decision i ever made as i was always so against them until i found myself in a position where it was needed. I always wanted kids but the timing was so ridiculously out of whack. I couldve made it work but i was at a stage of my life where i didnt want to be with my partner, i worked 8 hours a week and lived at home. I wasnt financially ready and the father was a dropkick who spent more time unemployed.
    Jump forward 5 years and i find out im expecting with my current partner. We live comfortably, he is responsible, he earns enough that if i wanted i could choose not to go back to work, i see myself with him in the future etc etc. Unplanned baby yes but in a position where it was the best thing to happen to us.
    If i were in your shoes i do believe i would keep the baby.
    BUT im not and i have no idea on whether its right for you.
    I do believe that if having the pregnancy terminated is right for you, you will know it. You'll have this light bulb moment where it just feels like its the right decision. It took me 5 weeks to have that thought. Dont rush it. Maybe also think about whether you are truly done. If you think in the future you may want a 4th child although the timing is wrong maybe this is your 4th. The universe has a funny way of making up its own mind for our lives.

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    OP, at the end of the day the decision you make is yours and your DH's.. Whatever has happened to other in their own situations doesn't necessarily mean its going to happen to you. As I said previously I have been faced with this decision on 2 previous occasions which I decided termination was the right thing for ME at the time. Not once have I ever regretted my decision or felt guilt for the decisions. The first time I too was married and had a young baby however I knew having that baby was not the right thing for me, my ex husband nor my DS.
    Unfortunatley no one has a crystal ball and you can't see what the future holds, you have to do whats right for you, your DH and your children.
    Good luck OP, if you want someone to listen I'm only a PM away

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bambiwantsababy View Post

    What a load of shxt I wasn't guilt tripping anyone just giving my opinion. That is, after all what she asked for.
    She asked for suggestions. Had you said 'be careful of going to counsellors who work in abortion clinics, you'll be better off seeking help from an independent counsellor' then there's nothing wrong with that. That first part of your post was extremely unhelpful to the op, who is obviously clearly quite upset with the situation she is in. Given this is the OP's 4th pregnancy, I'm sure she knows that this pregnancy will turn in to a baby, a child, and an adult should she choose to continue on with the pregnancy. She's not an idiot.
    Last edited by Mod-Uniquey; 12-12-2014 at 12:56.

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    I know your delema only too well it is one that I faced only 7 months ago. I too have an older husband but my other children are older 3,9,14. It is a very hard decision to make but after my oldest nearly died whilst i was tyring to decided there was no way I could terminate and I have chosen to keep the baby. This decision was purely emotional and probably not the smartest. There are so many reasons why I should not have chosen the way I did, financial, my age, no room in our house ect but hopefully things will work out for the best.
    So far it has not been an easy pregnacy. Many issues keep cropping up, its like I am really getting challenged every step of the pregnacy.
    Good luck with whatever you decide I found this decision to be harder than it was with my first baby ( all of my pregnancies have been unplanned).

    You could try here for some support.
    http://www.dhhs.tas.gov.au/service_i...upport_tas_inc

  13. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bambiwantsababy View Post

    What a load of shxt I wasn't guilt tripping anyone just giving my opinion. That is, after all what she asked for.
    Actually if you read carefully, she asked for suggestions on how to bring the topic up with her husband and what kind of things they need to discuss in order to make a decision that's right for them.
    Op certainly did not ask for your opinion on what she should do with her life and her body.
    Last edited by Mod-Uniquey; 12-12-2014 at 12:57.

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