+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 7 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 70
  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Kingston, Tasmania
    Posts
    104
    Thanks
    9
    Thanked
    48
    Reviews
    0

    Default Wow... Is this one of life's hardest decisions....

    A few days ago on a hunch I took a hpt and got a bfp.

    Not what either my husband and I were looking for, as we already have 3 healthy children, with the youngest being only 4 months.

    A huge shock, especially as we were on the pill, and were trying approx a year for each of our 3 children with no birth control.

    So.. Here we are...

    I am a supporter of a women's right to choose (abortion) in theory, but now I am faced with the right to choose, it is so NOT a simple choice.

    I think my husband summed it up, that although it seems logical (based on our circumstances), and going with our heads, it doesn't quite sit right with our hearts.

    I went to our GP today to get some information relating to how the abortion would work (in our state), and timings etc, and this has given me some reprieve in the form of a longer than expected time period to decide.

    My husband and I sometimes find it hard to talk through stuff logically, so I was hoping to have some sort of list do we can really talk about it.

    I would be so grateful if anyone could share any questions / conversations that you think we should be asking about / considering when we hash this out.

    Again, I know it's a long shot - but any suggestions would be so welcome.

    Thanks.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    737
    Thanks
    200
    Thanked
    485
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Sorry you have found yourself in this difficult situation. If it were me, I'd be looking at all the reasons why you don't want another child, and seeing if there are any ways to overcome these issues. If there doesn't appear to be any solutions for the problems and another baby is just not something you can see being able to make work for your family, then perhaps abortion is the right option. I had an abortion when I was 19, and not once in my life have I ever regretted it. I just knew in my head and heart that it was 100% the right option for me at that time. I think if you can get your head and heart to align on this decision you will be in the best position to know what to do. Easier said than done I guess! Best of luck with it all.

  3. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to GingerKat For This Useful Post:

    DizzyDaisy  (09-12-2014),Hopingfornumber3  (10-12-2014),Meld85  (10-12-2014)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    8,544
    Thanks
    1,351
    Thanked
    2,307
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Hugs. I hope you make the right choice. And congratulations on your pregnancy.

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    2,005
    Thanks
    291
    Thanked
    729
    Reviews
    6
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Tough one. I too had an abortion at 19, it was a no-brainer for me at the time. I was in an abusive relationship and had no intention of bringing an innocent baby into that hell. I have to say that now that I'm married, it would be a tough decision.

    I guess a pros and cons type list about having another child would help you guys to lay out your thoughts on the situation?

  6. #5
    BH-KatiesMum's Avatar
    BH-KatiesMum is offline Community Manager
    Winner 2008 - The most optimistic poster
    Winner 2014 - Most Helpful Moderator
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Perth WA
    Posts
    22,397
    Thanks
    5,366
    Thanked
    5,806
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Past Moderator
    200 Posts in a week100 Posts in a week

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    4,441
    Thanks
    1,242
    Thanked
    1,713
    Reviews
    9
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Big hugs I hope you can make a decision that's right for you xx

  8. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    11,091
    Thanks
    7,250
    Thanked
    5,865
    Reviews
    11
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 29/5/15Busiest Member of the WeekBusiest Member of the Week100 Posts in a week
    I can't imagine being pregnant a few months after having my bub. No advice except for make sure you take the time to make the right choice for you xx

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to Mamasupial For This Useful Post:

    beebs  (10-12-2014)

  10. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    237
    Thanks
    12
    Thanked
    80
    Reviews
    0

    Default Wow... Is this one of life's hardest decisions....

    Hi, I too am so sorry you have to make this tough decision. 😔
    All I really have to say is that I think it's important to go get some blood tests and perhaps an ultrasound if relevant/you're comfortable.. Just to check validity and viability of a pregnancy. I too have been faced with an unplanned BFP HPT & began to consider my options. In my case, the decision was made for me very early on.
    As you've said, consider everything and take your time.

    Best wishes xx
    Last edited by CodieBloom; 09-12-2014 at 22:44.

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to CodieBloom For This Useful Post:

    Hopingfornumber3  (10-12-2014)

  12. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    2,051
    Thanks
    8,078
    Thanked
    1,258
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Abortion is tricky because mostly women do it based on a theory. You imagine the worst case scenario for keeping your baby even though that may not happen at all. We seem to dismiss the idea that it could also be lovely.

    The hormones and the shock of it all makes the idea of choice/abortion very attractive. It makes you feel safer and more in control to feel like you can stop it all from happening. And you can. But would it be ok? Would you really feel better afterwards?

    Do you feel anything for this new little person growing inside? I have the sense that you do.

    Give yourself time to get used to the idea of another baby.
    I have recently gone through something similar and I was terrified and not prepared either. But I made it through, I held on and couldn't be happier that I now have the most precious baby boy.

    Life doesn't always go to plan. It doesn't have to spell disaster.

    I have had abortions that I now wish so badly that I could take back, that someone could have stopped me and truly let me know that it wasn't the only solution. That there is love and hope in letting things progress naturally.

    The choice of course is yours. I'm just offering my humble opinion and support. You will be ok. Huge hugs.

  13. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to KaraB For This Useful Post:

    Emmalovesleo  (03-11-2016),~Marigold~  (10-12-2014)

  14. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    1,869
    Thanks
    879
    Thanked
    1,201
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I have had 2 abortions and have been happy with 1 of the decisions but not the other. The difference for me was with the 2nd termination I had all the information I needed and made the choice based on that. The 1st termination I did not have all the information and in fact was fed incorrect information so that decision still makes me sad. You have to commit to your decision and believe that you made the right choice at the right time even if things change in the future (ie if you chose to terminate because of financial reasons and then the next week you won lotto, you had still made the right choice at the right time). Big hugs. It's a very difficult choice xxx


 

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 6
    Last Post: 14-05-2015, 08:57
  2. Decisions, decisions teenage boy and phones.
    By LoveLivesHere in forum General Chat
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 26-09-2014, 11:33
  3. The hardest gift
    By EmPowering in forum General Chat
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 30-04-2014, 06:39

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Einsteinz Music
Make music at Einsteinz Music in age-appropriate class in Sydney's Inner West, Eastern Suburbs or North Shore. For ages 6 mths - 4 yrs. All music is live! Christmas Gift certificates available for full term or casual classes. Call 0431 338 143
sales & new stuffsee all
Pea Pods
Buy 2 Award Winning Pea Pods Reusable One Size Nappies for only $38 (in your choice of colours) and receive a FREE roll of Bamboo Liners. Don't miss out, we don't usually have discounts on the nappies, so grab this special offer!
Special Offer! Save $12
featured supporter
121Temps
For the last 10 years 121 Temps has helped thousands of personal assistants/others to set up and work as a virtual assistant from home. Our services include: - One-2-One Mentoring - Online training/courses - Handbook, Toolkits, Templates & more.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!