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  1. #11
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    My cousin was 5 when her mum moved her away about 4 hours from her dad (my uncle)

    Parents didnt get along at all but they made it work. He was the much wealthier one and paid for her to travel back to see him on a bus most of the school holidays and special weekends that maybe there was a birthday.

    I must admit that her mum made it difficult for him but they never got along and it was a terribly bitter divorce so you have that going for you.

    Anyway she and her father were always very close and talked on the phone all the time and at the age of I think 12 she asked to love with her dad full-time and visit her mum. At this age they have a choice to a certain degree and she lived with him full time ever since. She is a well adjusted independent woman now and she moved out on her own around 20 and married and has a really successful job and has just started a business on the side which I believe is going well.

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    GluttonForPunishment  (10-12-2014)

  3. #12
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    GluttonForPunishment is offline Bubhub Award Winner - 2011- Most Optimistic Poster and Newbie of the Year Awards
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    You guys are awesome for sharing these! Thanks!

  4. #13
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    I think it will definitely be a difficult period of adjustment and bloody rough going but I think it's definitely possible to stay connected with your kids even if you're apart. You seem like a dad that adores his kids and shows that through actions and words and kids know. They know when they're cherished and wanted.
    Good luck with it all xxx

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    GluttonForPunishment  (10-12-2014),SuperGranny  (11-12-2014)

  6. #14
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    I don't have any personal experience to share with you. However, I wanted to say that you have all the tools to make this situation work for your family. From what you have said you have a good parenting relationship with your ex, you have huge amounts of love for your children and obviously a strong desire to make this work out best for everybody. From your post, you are a great parent and I have faith that it will all work out for you

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  8. #15
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    That really sucks OP You sound like a amazing parent. I would say stacks of skype or video calls. Maybe set up a time a few times a week that you can call so you can be involved. A friend of mine travels alot for work and she skypes the kids to help with their homework, reads them a story at bedtime (they have 2 copies of the book) etc. Good luck. I really hope it wirks out

    Sent from my GT-I9507 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    GluttonForPunishment  (11-12-2014)

  10. #16
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    I am the product of a long distance custody arrangement
    My parents split when I was 9 and my dad moved overseas. He would call, write letters, and fly us over to see him every Christmas holidays for 2-3 weeks.
    I have an amazing relationship with my dad, we are very close and always have been despite the distance.

    My brother also had a long distance custody arrangement with his son for about 3 years, but thankfully his ex ended up moving closer to him again! But during those 3 years he would drive the 6 hour round trip twice a week to get his son and still have his 50/50 custody. This was before his son started school though. The ex moved closer just before school started and now lives around the corner (that's a whole other type of issue, haha!).

    So it can definitely work and have a happy outcome for all concerned

    Best of luck!

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    GluttonForPunishment  (11-12-2014)

  12. #17
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    My ex husband lives 5 hours away. He has my kids 11 and 13 1 week every school holidays and 2 weeks Christmas holidays alternating christmas's. We meet half way. He doesn't ring or communicate between these visits but if the kids want to talk to him they know the phone is there and they can call him anytime. This has worked ( until a hiccup last year which is now resolved) for the last 7 almost 8 years. The kids know the drill and there has been no emotional or behavioural outbursts over it either. It can work if both parties are willing to come to the
    Party on there ends.

  13. #18
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    Busy-Bee is offline Offending people since before Del :D
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    I have no experience with this but wanted to ask if you're using technology to help bridge the gap. I regular skype chat where you talk about school and the normal boring daily life would be a way to keep in regular, almost tangible contact.

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  15. #19
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    I think I had a pretty good outcome. My parents divorced when I was 8 and my dad moved to another state. We kept in touch regularly, saw him every time he came down and spent alternate Christmases with my mum and dad. My dad now lives overseas but we are still close.

    The important thing is to make the effort. My dad always made sure we knew that he loved and cared for us, despite being so far away.

  16. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by GluttonForPunishment View Post
    Just nice to know that it can work really. We have plans in place and ex-DW wants them to have a good relationship with me as much as I want them to have a good one with her. I guess I just wnat to know that there are some well adjusted kids out there who's parents live a distance away from one another and who have good relationships with both parents! You hear of so many horror stories, you know? And despite the pain that I'm going to feel with the kids moving away, ex-DW isn't doing it maliciously but is moving closer to her family and her new BF. It's just a cr**py situation that we've got to try and make the best of somehow. And hearing that some others out there have this situation and it's working okay would be really nice to hear!
    Look I'm 25 and live interstate from my dad, I know I'm not a child but this is my perspective. My dad calls me every Friday without fail, sometimes we only talk for 3 minutes because I have a 3yo and demanding job. But he's reliable with his calls, he emails me most weeks too. It's the feeling of reliability and security knowing that even though he's far away he is actually there for me. Does that make sense?
    My parents separated when I was 9 and I think I turned out ok

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    GluttonForPunishment  (15-12-2014)


 

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