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  1. #1
    GluttonForPunishment's Avatar
    GluttonForPunishment is offline Bubhub Award Winner - 2011- Most Optimistic Poster and Newbie of the Year Awards
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    Default Give me a good news story.

    Hey hey. So, long story short, my ex-DW is moving herself and my two girls (9+6) six hours away in a few weeks. We've been split for four years and up till now custody has been split 50/50 though I've had much more of them than that in recent months. This is going to be a massive period of adjustment for both me and them and I'm more than a little nervous about the future. I'm nervous about them growing up without my direct influence (ex and I are very different), I'm nervous about our relationship and how we'll be as they get older. Hell, I'm even nervous that they will act out against their mother who (despite my private desire to dangle her by her toes over a bonfire) I want to see have a good relationship with our girls.

    So, I'd like to hear some good news stories from those of you who have kids where mum and dad live in different places. I see enough of the bad news ones on here - but surely some people have managed to make this work.

    Hopefully.

    Maybe.

    Help me out here!

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    Bumping up for you

  3. #3
    BH-KatiesMum's Avatar
    BH-KatiesMum is offline Community Manager
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    good luck with it GFP


  4. #4
    GluttonForPunishment's Avatar
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    Wow. Well, this is depressing. Well, we'll just have to set the benchmark for making this work I guess. Thanks ladies for trying to bump this for me!

  5. #5
    harvs's Avatar
    harvs is offline Winner 2014 - Spirit of BubHub Award
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    I'm sorry that you are about to go through such a big change. XH and I live about 2.5 hours apart and we are making it work, although my son is only 2 so has no real social engagements aside from cc and playing with his trucks.

    I'm not sure exactly what you mean by 'making it work'. It's challenging and at times frustrating and tbh your suggestion of the bonfire thing sounds awesome, but do you have any more specific questions, or is it just a bit nice to know that it can work?

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    GluttonForPunishment  (10-12-2014)

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    Big hugs. I love that you love your kids that much to be concerned.

    I'm sure there are good news stories out there, or at least will be with your "future good news story" added to the list.

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    That's a bit harsh OP. Such big changes for your girls.
    Are you able to move closer to them?
    Are you able/do you want to stop them from moving so far away?

  9. #8
    GluttonForPunishment's Avatar
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    Just nice to know that it can work really. We have plans in place and ex-DW wants them to have a good relationship with me as much as I want them to have a good one with her. I guess I just wnat to know that there are some well adjusted kids out there who's parents live a distance away from one another and who have good relationships with both parents! You hear of so many horror stories, you know? And despite the pain that I'm going to feel with the kids moving away, ex-DW isn't doing it maliciously but is moving closer to her family and her new BF. It's just a cr**py situation that we've got to try and make the best of somehow. And hearing that some others out there have this situation and it's working okay would be really nice to hear!

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    Hey Glutton,

    My DP will be a good story for you! Her parents split before she could even remember them being together. Her mum lived in NSW and her dad lived in Queensland. They made it work. She spent heaps of time with both parents. If her dad had the weekend off he would drive down and stay with friends in NSW near her and her siblings. If her mum had time off she'd drive to QLD and use the opportunity to spend the weekend with her QLD friends.

    When DP was around 9 her mum moved to QLD but still around 2 hours travel from DP's dad. She spent a lot of time at his house. Whenever she called to say she wanted to sleep over he made the 4 hour round trip to pick her up and the 4 hour round trip to drop her off when she wanted to go home.

    Good luck with all of this! It's a really tough one. You can definitely make it work!

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  12. #10
    GluttonForPunishment's Avatar
    GluttonForPunishment is offline Bubhub Award Winner - 2011- Most Optimistic Poster and Newbie of the Year Awards
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    Quote Originally Posted by CMF View Post
    That's a bit harsh OP. Such big changes for your girls.
    Are you able to move closer to them?
    Are you able/do you want to stop them from moving so far away?
    Have thought about all those things and the answer to both was no. They're moving to a small country town with zero opportunities. I live in Brisbane where I'm close to universities and SO many different things for them to do once they're older. I also have my own life here and a well paying job that allows me to give them opportunities that they wouldn't have otherwise. No, for both them and myself I'm better off staying where I am. Legally, I had an extremely slim chance of making her stay (learnt through much legal advice) and we have a good relationship with none of that toxicity that so many exes have. So, yeah. It sucks massively but just have to make the most of it now.


 

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