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  1. #1
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    Default DH on business trip

    DH is going away for business this week. I know it sounds silly but I'm really stressed about it. DD is 2 and I know I should be able to manage on my own but I suffer from anxiety and I'm making myself all anxious thinking about how I won't cope.

    I feel so ridiculous, so many mums do it all by themselves and I'm so in awe of them; usually by the time DH gets home at 6:30pm I'm at the end of my rope and dying for some alone time. DD is a very forceful child, she's a terrible eater and throws a million tantrums a day. On top of that due to some health problems I'm easily fatigued and I find being with her all day exhausting.

    Also I'm a very deep sleeper and if DD wakes at night DH usually hears her and will wake me up; I'm so worried she'll wake up and I won't hear her. She usually wakes because she hasn't eaten well and is hungry.

    I know I'm overthinking it and I probably sound so pathetic. Does anyone have any advice or does anyone else feel like this at the prospect of being on their own with their child for a week, or is it just me?

  2. #2
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    harvs is offline Winner 2014 - Spirit of BubHub Award
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    I remember the first time I faced being alone when my husband at the time moved out for two weeks I was terrified and sure I couldn't cope. The short answer is you will because you have to :-)

    My best advice would be to lower your expectations - the house might not be as tidy, your routine might change a bit, you might use the TV more than you'd like or make quicker/slacker meals. All of that is ok! Sleep when you can again, like when you had a newborn.

    Also I highly recommend getting out of the house at least once a day. Fresh air does wonders. Can you sleep on a mattress in your daughter's room just for the week? Do you have time tonight to cook up some meals for yourself and freeze them?

    Good luck - I think you'll be absolutely ok...just book in your rest day next weekend in advance :-)

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    Mama Mirabelle  (07-12-2014)

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    I agree with pp. you will because you have to. for sleep I'd get a baby monitor.. and turn it up, it will definitely wake you up

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    Mama Mirabelle  (07-12-2014)

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    Thank you ladies, I feel better reading that Harvs, I'm still anxious but you're right, I'll be okay because I'll have to be.. I wish I could be one of those super mums who seem to manage it all, just the thought of feeding DD makes me stressed

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    I've been exactly where you are but only for a few days. I am a very heavy sleeper so I moved my mattress into dds room and slept there. She ended up sleeping with me and I woke up when she needed me.
    I was also worried about trying to get her to bed as dh was doing that at the time - I ended up just waiting until she was very tired and she went to sleep easily.
    I agree - just make life easy - easy meals, not too many commitments that week. I'm sure you will be fine 😊

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    Mama Mirabelle  (07-12-2014)

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    Being a single parent is easier for me. When dh goes away it doesn't change much. I agree with everyone else. You will do great.
    Move your mattress, have fun picnic meals. Eat with your fingers to. Kids love to see you do it. Turn up your music and dance the cleaning jig. Give your dd a brush and shovel and some Macaroni or a window wipe. If you need to vent we are here.

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    Mama Mirabelle  (07-12-2014)

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    I hate it.

    I have 3 kids and dh is travelling more and more.

    Every time he's away, someone gets sick or something bad happens.

    So I know the anxiety u must feel, hugs to you.

    Can u get bub to sleep in your room for a week? I push one of our single beds into our room, and we have the cot already in here so that way they're all with me. I hate the idea of having them in separate rooms every night.

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    Mama Mirabelle  (07-12-2014)

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    Sleep on a mattress in her room
    Have you looked at daycare as a long term solution to give you a break and for your daughter too
    You will survive - just get out, keep busy , let things slide a bit.

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    Mama Mirabelle  (07-12-2014)

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    I think all those "super mum's" out there have either been through the 'totally scared' phase and are well in the middle of 'I do whatever works and deal with it' phase or they are putting on a good front. I am lucky I have a relatively easy child but I still have days where I just want to dump DD and hide at the end of the day. It's totally normal.

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    Little Miss Sunshine  (07-12-2014),Mama Mirabelle  (07-12-2014),TheGooch  (07-12-2014)

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    I've had dh away for months at a time the last few years, and as a pp said you get through it because you have to.
    If the meals are stressing you out the most, plan it out ahead of time, if it's something you know wont go down well a picnic as someone already mentioned is great idea, just in the backyard, or even inside. Or just find some ideas online to make it more fun, like smiley face sandwiches and those sorts of things.
    My DD will eat eat anything in a wrap, DS will eat anything that resembles a smiley face on his plate so they were my go to's.

    I didn't want to change sleeping arrangements, I wanted things to stay the same for them as much as possible, and I really need my hour or two/three down time once they're in bed, so I went back to using baby monitors, I found getting into pjs an hour earlier, then just having some quiet time (reading, dominoes etc) with them helped avoid the 'before bed madness.' (I don't know if others have this before bed madness, but at our place it runs a rampage

    Getting out even if just for a walk around the block is essential, it does wonders to get out of the house.
    You'll do great once the time comes!

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    Mama Mirabelle  (07-12-2014)


 

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