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  1. #791
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    Default Thread interloper needs reassurance....please!

    Hi ladies! Sorry to crash your thread, but I need some reassurance from those who've actually BEEN THERE, and not those who just think they know what you're going through!

    Ive recently come come back from Zlin (awesome clinic, awesome experience, cannot say enough good things about them, highly recommend to anyone looking to do DE overseas!). We transferred 2x tip top quality expanding blasts on 1 Sept at 1130 am. I go for beta tomorrow 11 Sept (10th in Zin).

    Since trx I have had all the usual little twinges and niggling but unidentifiable sensations in the pelvic area that I always got with previous OEIVF cycles. I'm on 4x Utrogestan morning and 4x at night, 1x at lunch time. Also the usual Progynova 1 tab 3x daily......1each of aspirin, predinsolone, pre-natal.....the usual cocktail.

    I have have zero pregnancy symptoms. None. Not even sore boobs from the progesterone. My sense of smell and taste are off, but I have had that even when not cycling. I'm not cramping, no stabbing pains, no staining, spotting or bleeding of any kind. (All my previous cycles I have bled by 5-6dpt, but was never on such a high dose of prog either).

    I have taken 3 HPTs.....all 3 have been negative. My brain tells me the cycle failed, and that the only reason I'm not bleeding is because the progesterone is holding it off. My desperately hopeful heart is terrified, but hoping the lack of bleeding means I could still get a positive beta tomorrow.

    Has anyone else experienced this? No symptoms, negative HPTs, but then got a positive beta? I'm so scared to get my hopes up. After 12 years I know how hope can be so cruel......

    any reassurance would be helpful. I know that your experience isn't my experience, and it's never the same for any two women but......I really need something to believe in. Thanks so much in advance! good to see so many stories where it worked. I looked at that big photo board of babies at Zlin and wondered which ones were from any of you ladies that had gone before.

    cheers
    Kristi
    Last edited by tigerlilly9772; 10-09-2015 at 11:09.

  2. #792
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    Anglie How cute, what an awesome big brother!!! Maybe suggest just waiting until bubs is a teeny bit older and has a better grip before doing that again!!
    I think we have turned a corner with the hospitalised one He managed to get up and have a shower last night and I took him for a spin in the wheelchair today for about 15, didn't realise it was only meant to be around the corridors and I had him outside baking in the sun, his nurse was all flustered when we got back and said it must remain secret squirrel where we had gone Worried about druggies coming and ripping his pain meds out and running away with them lol, I shouldn't laugh but ...... They would have got a punch in the head from me And I can't say I've noticed any druggies hanging out front of the hospital but secret squirrel it is
    Kristi, welcome well I had zero symptoms, but I had + pregnancy tests, I've heard of ladies having - on tests and then getting positive blood tests, I'd like to say keep positive but I know at this stage that'll be very hard to do, do you have a plan B if it hasn't worked this time? Do you have any frosties you could go back for?

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    tigerlilly9772  (10-09-2015)

  4. #793
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    Hello ladies

    Anglie, the little one is soo funny, but I'm sure they keep you busy.

    Stacey, I'm so glad the little one feels better. He will be home in no time, I'm sure.

    Kristi, welcome. I'm sure it's really hard, but try and stay positive. I really hope that you'll get a surprise BFP tomorrow. What HPTs did you use? Maybe they were not sensitive enough. I tested with First response and the test line was darker than the control line and with the internet cheappies it was bearly visible.
    As for the symptoms, I don't have any either. I tested positive at 4.5DP5DT and my HCG is pretty high and still no obvious symptoms. It is really stressful because we need a confirmation that something's happenning in there, but I read that there are plenty of women who don't have any symptoms.
    I also heard that prednisone might reduce/block the morning sickness.
    As for the bleeding, in my previous OE IVFs I didn't bled until I stopped the medication. I think the progesterone might have something to do with this.

    Fingers crossed for you and keep us updated.

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    tigerlilly9772  (10-09-2015)

  6. #794
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    Quote Originally Posted by stacey10 View Post
    Anglie How cute, what an awesome big brother!!! Maybe suggest just waiting until bubs is a teeny bit older and has a better grip before doing that again!!
    I think we have turned a corner with the hospitalised one He managed to get up and have a shower last night and I took him for a spin in the wheelchair today for about 15, didn't realise it was only meant to be around the corridors and I had him outside baking in the sun, his nurse was all flustered when we got back and said it must remain secret squirrel where we had gone Worried about druggies coming and ripping his pain meds out and running away with them lol, I shouldn't laugh but ...... They would have got a punch in the head from me And I can't say I've noticed any druggies hanging out front of the hospital but secret squirrel it is
    Kristi, welcome well I had zero symptoms, but I had + pregnancy tests, I've heard of ladies having - on tests and then getting positive blood tests, I'd like to say keep positive but I know at this stage that'll be very hard to do, do you have a plan B if it hasn't worked this time? Do you have any frosties you could go back for?
    hi Stacey, thanks for responding. Sorry to hear about your little one.....hope he's mending fast so you can all go home! Hospitals suck......and honestly, with the way society is going lately I wouldn't be surprised if junkies DID try to rip his med off.

    We we do have a couple of frosties in Zlin, but we did this cycle on a wing and a prayer and had to do a GoFundMe for that. So I don't know when we could possibly look at going back. I'm currently in OPC mode (obsessive panty checking) because I constantly feel (sorry TMI warning) warm and wet between the legs.......only to find that not only is there nothing red (or even pink) but also no moisture. Phantom period? I have no other explanation for such a sensation! Hahaha Let me just say I'm glad I had the foresight to bulk buy cheap TP ahead of time. I mean it feels like wiping with bark, but.....

    well, I guess I'll just have to hold onto hope via my blessedly unstained knickers and just wait for tomorrow. God I hope they call early. The lab is in house, but they get a ton of ladies in every day (Monash IVF, so always buzzing).

    Thanks again. God I hate this part.

  7. #795
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    Quote Originally Posted by HFAM View Post

    Kristi, welcome. I'm sure it's really hard, but try and stay positive. I really hope that you'll get a surprise BFP tomorrow. What HPTs did you use? Maybe they were not sensitive enough. I tested with First response and the test line was darker than the control line and with the internet cheappies it was bearly visible.
    As for the symptoms, I don't have any either. I tested positive at 4.5DP5DT and my HCG is pretty high and still no obvious symptoms. It is really stressful because we need a confirmation that something's happenning in there, but I read that there are plenty of women who don't have any symptoms.
    I also heard that prednisone might reduce/block the morning sickness.
    As for the bleeding, in my previous OE IVFs I didn't bled until I stopped the medication. I think the progesterone might have something to do with this.

    Fingers crossed for you and keep us updated.
    Hi HFAM,

    I used First Response, as I know it's the most sensitive. In the past I've always bled by 5-6dpt, even while on progesterone. But I was never on this high a dose and never on this particular brand.

    Since I'm on so much progesterone, I find it odd that my boobs aren't tender at all. They've always been before on the lower dose. Although my right one seems to be developing a small tender spot in the nipple area.....but that could be from obsessively checking to see if they're sore yet? Hahaha.

    You know what's really funny? I was told taking the prednisone that I'd swell, retain water, but I've actually lost a little over 3kgs (finally.....a shift in the weight I gained from the last FET!). Plus, I ALWAYS get terrible pitting aedema in my lower calves, ankles and feet during even the shortest air travel (horrendous when we got to Zurich), but on the way home.....I didn't? I was Gobsmacked by the site of my ankle and feet bones! I attribute it to the aspirin, but who knows. I keep telling myself it's the first time that's EVER happened, and that maybe it's one of MY weird pregnancy signs, but........I think I'm telling myself pork pies.

    God this is such a mind f***!!!!!!!

    12 years I've been doing this, TTC. You'd think by now I'd have developed some patience or figured out how to best deal,with the endless waiting, but it's as bad as the very first TWW back in 2003. I've been a lurker here for a long long time, but now that I've crossed over I to DE Land, I think I'll be a more frequent contributor.

    Thanks ks for responding!

  8. #796
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    Kristi going back for your frosties is a lot cheaper than a fresh cycle, all you need to do is be on the pill for about 3 mths then have estrogen and progesterone support, only you need to go so you'd only need one airfare and could be there and back within a week so it may not be too far out of reach
    Id also like to ask if you've had any additional testing done like mthfr etc?

  9. #797
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    Hi Stacey, it is definitely cheaper......even so, it will be an undetermined while at this stage.

    I've not had MTHFR testing, nor immunity/NK cells......but if this cycle is the bust I think it us, I'll be demanding every test under the sun. I might have to switch Drs to get it. Mine says he "doesn't believe in NK cells", although plenty others seem to. I'd hate to switch because I just love him but......I want to be a mum more than I love my FS!

    Also, despite my tests always coming back within "normal range", I have nearly every symptom if hypothyroid, and the last test had T3 and T4 at extreme low and high (forget which was which), TSH dead in the middle normal. Now......I don't think that's "normal" at all, especially when I've got almost every symptom. But I can't get a dr to listen, take me seriously, and look further into it. I've got top cover with Medibank. I might see if my FS will refer me to a RE.

    Because I now have a history of failure to implant. 2 rounds of OE IVF (fresh and FET) and now a round of fresh DE IVF with genetically tried and tested eggs and absolutely PERFECT expanding blasts......something's not right. 😕

  10. #798
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    Kristi, it will be a good idea to have all the immune testing done. I was sure that everything is fine, and my FS even did a few tests, but after a phone consult with dr M in Sydney and a few tests later (which I've done just for my piece of mind that I tried everything) I discovered that I would never get pregnant without treatment. I have high ANA and high NK cells. Even though all the immune treatment is an additional stress to the whole process and it is not proven, I'm glad I did it. In the end you don't know what might work.
    And you don’t necessarily have to switch FS, although it is a good idea if they are supportive. You can work with your dr for the ivf side and with an immunologist like dr M for the immune issues.

    Let me know if there's anything I can help you with in regards to this.

  11. #799
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    Hi all,

    My beta came back negative, with a score of only 1.

    Clearly there is something far more wrong with me than just old eggs. My body is worse than infertile and barren......it's a killer. It killed my babies.

    I'm devastated. Beyond heartbroken. Soul shattered. Worse than that. I have never felt so broken.....bereft.....forsaken.....forgotten..... ignored......denied.....punished......I feel like such a loser......such a failure......so much more so than ever before. I don't know how to get through this! I mean I can't even do this with someone else's perfect eggs. Clearly God doesn't see me fit to be a mother.......and I hate Him for that. So many horrible people are blessed, some over and over and do things that make me sick to my stomach and yet he keeps smiling on them.

    Adoption is out because this damned country is so effing backward adoption doesn't even exist. I'm not interested in foster care or permanent care because they force contact with the people that broke these babies in the first place, just so you can keep breaking them over and over and never give them a chance to recover. They never get to heal. I can't stomach the thought of exposing children to such repeated trauma for the sake of "identity" and "knowing where they come from".

    God I feel like I'm losing mind. I vacillate between thinking of ways to end my life and trying to figure out how to get back to Zlin to get my other two babies.......how I'm going to get the money......how I'm going to fix whatever is wrong with me......


    I did some research last night on reproductive immunology and NKCs.....anything I could think of, and it seems there is an awful lot that it could be. And I can't find ANY reference to the costs of testing and procedures. I have top cover with Medibank Private, and of course there's Medicare. Are any of the tests and procedures even covered? As its non-life threatening and "only" for fertility I assume minimal to no coverage.

    I'm sorry......I know I sound insane.......right now I am insane, with grief. I just wang this to end already, with a baby in my arms......

  12. #800
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    Ohhh Kristi, I am soooooo sorry. I understand you completely. Please hang in there. For me the only thing that works is making plans for the future, with or without a baby (finding ways to try again or thinking about the beautiful life I will have with hubby and our fur baby). Life is not fair but we have to make the most out of what we get. I'm still at work atm. I'll reply more about immune treatment when I arrive home.
    Hugs 😙😙😙

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