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  1. #381
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    I have a question if you guys don't mind. Do you tell people that you are using donor? If not do you plan to at any stage?

  2. #382
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    Malak, we didn't tell any one , only my husband and I know and my GP, even my OB doesn't know. Unless u chose to tell ppl but otherwise there is no need 😉

  3. #383
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    Thanks @AMFM ... do you plan to tell your parents or siblings? What about the child?

    We are probably looking at doing it next year if we can't conceive naturally.

    Also how do you explain being pregnant if you told people you probably can't have children?

    Sorry for all the questions.

  4. #384
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    We are in the no tell camp as well, only my gp knows, as for getting pregnant after saying you probably couldn't, there are millions of excuses to use, clomid, dhea, tried a mix of macca, royal jelly and myo inositol, baby aspirin lol there are tons of ways you can explain a pregnancy, or you can say you have been extremely lucky as you never thought you'd be able to, not that it is anyone's business, if you want to be really cheeky, just say the "old fashioned way" wink and then walk off. We don't plan on telling a single soul, one reason is because they're mine anyway, another is that we have other children and I don't want them being treated any differently and I don't want the to feel any different, plus they're mine it's a very personal
    Choice and only you can do what's right for you and your family

  5. #385
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    Thanks Stacey. One of the reasons you mention is one reason why I would not want to tell anyone which is being treated differently. I don't have any children but I have nieces and a nephew and I wouldn't want them treated any differently to them.

    I was just curious because I was told by someone I know doing DS that you should tell the kids but I felt funny having everyone know if you know what I mean.

  6. #386
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    We have told people. I have had some funny responses such as "but it won't be your child" but they were initial responses and then people accepted. We decided to tell people because when we first started looking for a donor we thought the more people who knew you never know who they may know. After a lot of thought we even put our ad on facebook and asked people to share, which they did.
    I think the tell or not is a very personal choice and either is ok.
    we also decided we would tell our child if we are lucky enough to have success.

  7. #387
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    Malak you def don't have to tell if you don't want to, for me I don't see any point in telling as the donor is anonymous and the child can't trace them which could lead to a whole set of different problems down the track, but as I've said there is definitely no right or wrong and it's everyone's own personal choice and circumstances which will ultimately lead you to your decision
    Last edited by stacey10; 07-03-2015 at 20:27.

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    Malak  (07-03-2015)

  9. #388
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    My husband and I spent a lot of time trying to decide if we would tell a child. We first said we thought they'd be too young under age 12, too teenager-like between 12-18, and over that they may resent us for not telling. We decided for us it made sense to be open and embrace it as the beautiful gift that a child is. When we get pregnant and have a child we will openly tell them.

    It's such a personal choice though. You need to do what is right for you.

    {Link removed by Moderator}
    Last edited by Mod-RaryGirl; 08-03-2015 at 12:56.

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    Malak  (08-03-2015)

  11. #389
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    I really like your blog, klh. It's informative, but also funny and explains perfectly the emotions we're going through.

    As for telling people about egg donation, we decided no to tell anyone.This is beacause we know that people around us won't understand and at one point they will judge us or our actions based on this fact.
    We told a couple of friends about our ivf journal and it became a nightmare to deal with them: nosy questions about our progress even though I wasnt in the mood to talk about it, stupid suggestions like 'you should just relax, why are you so obsessed about this, go on vacation and it will happen'. Even our parents reacted badly when we told them we are trying to conceive and it hasn't happened for us. First thing my mum asked was if the problem is with me or hubby and my dad demanded to tell him a timeframe when he is going to be a granddad because he waited enough. Conclusion: i don't want us or our child to have to explain anything to anyone about this and to suffer because people don't understand or just want to be mean.

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    Malak  (08-03-2015)

  13. #390
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    That is very true it's very personal and there is no right or wrong answer for us also we knew ppl won't understand , so decided that to be a life time secret . I also mentioned the idea of DE to one frnd and she laughed me she said but it won't be yours and that I'm crazy for going for it then I just said to her that we have decided to go it naturally ... When I told her I'm having twins, I could see she so wanted to ask if we have gone ahead with it but she didn't 😃

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    Malak  (08-03-2015)


 

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