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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stretched View Post
    Ah, VP. You're always good for a laugh! This conversation was had when the option of me working full time was put on the table and reiterated once I was offered the contract. If I actually thought it would do the trick I wouldn't need to start this thread!

    The biggest issue is that his concept of 100 ( to be split 50/50) is about my 30.
    .... Just review his list, if it isn't enough then right in front of him say so and add a fee items. Stick the list on the fridge..
    ...?...?...

  2. #12
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    We have a shared calendar and to do lists that sync on our laptops/iPhones. Whenever I need him to do something I add it to that list with a pop-up reminder. I've also set up recurring reminders for taking out recycling and garbage, paying rent, etc.

    I've also used the "you need to lead by example for the kids" line and that has worked well. Ironically, while he's not always great at doing housework in a timely manner, he cracks down on SS when he hasn't done the chores that he should have.

    Say "thank you" a lot. Yes, yes, I know, no one thanks you for all the stuff that you do but I've found showing a little gratitude when DH helps out goes a long way!

    And we pay for a cleaner. When I was pregnant I got to the point where I just couldn't do it. He said he would do it but then nothing happened...for weeks. DH thinks that cleaning is "not the best use of his time". He's based this on his hourly rate as a contractor. I had to put my foot down and he figured that $60/fortnight was worth it.

    But I will say this in his defence, he is a fabulous cook and has no problem coming home and preparing a delicious, healthy meal (he's also teaching SS to cook); he's good at fixing stuff around the place; he washes and irons; he does the grocery shopping (as long as I've written out a list); and he gives me regular breaks from the kids.

    I try to play to his strengths.
    Last edited by Cat74; 08-12-2014 at 06:07.

  3. #13
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    Following this one - and loving the suggestions. Can I ask though, does anyone have a partner that doesn't take kindly to bring asked to do things? How do you approach it then?

  4. #14
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    My dh only gets cranky about it if he thinks he's already doing more than 50%. I realised that for a lot of things he wouldn't notice that anything had changed and so if he didn't see me doing chores he would just assume I hadn't done anything! Things like changing and washing sheets and towels, vacuuming, dusting etc. So instead of doing the bulk of my housework on Saturday mornings when he wasn't home, I did it on Sunday so he would see me do multiple loads of laundry, sweep and mop the floors, vacuum the carpet etc. He'd then feel guilty and offer to help or just start doing something he saw needed to be done. This is when I give him choices, rather than asking him to do something specific, tell him a couple of things that need doing and he can choose what he's happy to do.

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to phee83 For This Useful Post:

    Pumpkinontheway  (09-12-2014)

  6. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by phee83 View Post
    I realised that for a lot of things he wouldn't notice that anything had changed and so if he didn't see me doing chores he would just assume I hadn't done anything!.
    Yes, I've already learnt this one. Otherwise he seems to think it's the magical fairies who keep the house in order while I'm drinking coffee and watching daytime TV!

  7. #16
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    Thanks for the tips and ideas ladies.

    Thankfully, I still have more than a month before it all starts - so lots of time to get organised. I've already asked DH to start thinking about whe chores that he will notice are not done, as I figure they are the best ones for him to do. For example, hee seems to notice if tiles are not mopped but a toilet can look like the one out of Trainspotting and he wouldn't think to grab the domestos.

    I'll have to update my list of daily/weekly/monthly chores as we can use that as a starting point. Plus expand on the current online diary/organiser we use. Hopefully we won't have too many arguments over all this!


 

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