I do feel for you but question:
Did you have children so that you always had someone around at the holiday times and someone who would spend time with you no matter what? Or did you have children and nurture them and give them an awesome start to life so that you could be proud of the person they have become and watch them spread their wings?
I am the gf. According to MIL I *made* DH move to oz from UK. She still asks him 'when are you coming home'. It really upsets him that his mum can't be pleased with how well he is doing and proud of the opportunities he has made for himself. I have supported myself financially since 18 and I also haven't lived with my mum since then. DH was still getting money from his parents at 22. That didn't change the fact that we started to share xmas as soon as we got together. Like I said earlier, we did xmas eve and then xmas day morning with my family, and xmas day eve for dinner and Boxing Day with his family. Maybe suggest this arrangement so you get to see him but it means they have to drive on xmas day.
I wish you luck and I hope you can come to some sort of arrangement. Word of warning: do not say anything to him to the effect of his gf making him do it or mentioning the fact that he still lives with you/is being financially supported by you. That's pretty much the kiss of death to any kind of 'negotiation'.
Ok, I've said I will accept his choice. I will plan another time to spend with him and I will love his GF no matter what. We can stop now. Thank you to everyone who could put themselves in my place and realise I am hurting.
FWIW, I think you're taking others opinions and advice really well, considering that you are obviously really hurting over this.
I hope you're able to sort something out with your DS xxx
hugs wiseoldowl. I understand where you are coming from. this is a new situation for you, and you will know that it takes some time to adjust. Just be willing to accept the changes and you will not do any harm to your relationship with your son or with the girlfriend. I have a few stories about my mil with her attitude to Christmas but it would be way too boring to even begin. try to just go with the flow, every year can bring more changes. marie.
Crikey I can't quite believe the hard time that @WiseOldOwl is getting over this. I'll tell you what, if my child accounced two weeks out from Christmas that they will be spending the day elsewhere, and showed absolutely no regard for how I would feel about it, then I would be pretty sh**ty too. Yes no one wants to be *that* MIL but I don't think OPs son is being a bit of a little sh** really (sorry @WiseOldOld). Yes he's a young adult and yes he is entitled to spread his wings and spend Christmas day wherever he pleases but there are ways and means of going about things and I think his behaviour is downright poor tbh. Everyone is so busy jumping up and down telling OP she is being controlling but he can do as he damm well pleases and she has to just suck it up because he's 21? Please!
WiseOldOwl I totally understand if you don't want to reply any more to this thread but I hope he comes back and redeems himself when you get a chance to discuss it some more with him.
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