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  1. #21
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    Yeah I knew this day would eventually come, just didn't realise it would hurt so much. I never had to do the alternate thing as his father was not in the picture so it was just my family. For me Christmas Day is Christmas Day Lunch. Christmas Eve is for getting everything done on time and Boxing day is a recovery day. I'm going to try very hard not to tear up in front of him.

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  3. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by WiseOldOwl View Post
    Yeah I knew this day would eventually come, just didn't realise it would hurt so much. I never had to do the alternate thing as his father was not in the picture so it was just my family. For me Christmas Day is Christmas Day Lunch. Christmas Eve is for getting everything done on time and Boxing day is a recovery day. I'm going to try very hard not to tear up in front of him.
    Sending you lots of hugs. It must be very hard. xx

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  5. #23
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    I am 28 years old and had to tell my mum that I am leaving her house at 11am on xmas day (we are staying over xmas eve) and going to see my Dad on xmas day for the first time in about 8 years. My mum gave me so much grief about it and tried to guilt trip me so much I had a mini breakdown a few weeks ago and it was just awful.

    Im sure its hard for him not to come spend xmas day with you, and im sure it really hurts as a mum to not have your son there. But I just think it's hard enough all round without making it any harder

  6. #24
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    Alternate Christmases are a fact of life as kids get older. Please don't complain to your son or his girlfriend. They don't need a guilt trip and you will just come across as an interfering mil. Focus on Christmas brekky with your son, or just Christmas next year.

  7. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by WiseOldOwl View Post
    Yeah I knew this day would eventually come, just didn't realise it would hurt so much. I never had to do the alternate thing as his father was not in the picture so it was just my family. For me Christmas Day is Christmas Day Lunch. Christmas Eve is for getting everything done on time and Boxing day is a recovery day. I'm going to try very hard not to tear up in front of him.
    As the others said, as much as it hurts, don't make a big stink! I would definitely ask to see him some other time on Christmas Day and book him in for lunch next year. If they try and pull the same thing next year then you're free to kick up a stink!

    I'm about to celebrate my DS's first Christmas, now I know to really appreciate it because it won't be that long before I'll be making a post like this about him and his girlfriend! Also...I'll totally kick up a stink and be THAT MIL...don't be me!

  8. #26
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    No guarantee I'll get next year if he is still with this GF. She seems to control everything they do. No guilt tripping. I'm not going to say anything. Sucking it up right now.

  9. #27
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    Mega hugs.

    I know your pain. Dd1 doesn't come for Christmas anymore. This will be her second Christmas away. She has to work, she needs the money so I just have to understand.

    She is home now so we are doing the Christmas stuff now. We are having a special dinner in the weekend.

    It just what we have to do as mums no matter how much it hurts.

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  11. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by WiseOldOwl View Post
    No guarantee I'll get next year if he is still with this GF. She seems to control everything they do. No guilt tripping. I'm not going to say anything. Sucking it up right now.
    You sure it's the evil girlfriends doing? I bet your son can make his own mind up. No offence intended ... However you sound a bit bitter . And even if you don't plan on saying anything this type of attitude usually shines through.

    When my mum pulled the sour puss act on my sister and I as we met our new partners and left the nest I just wanted to shake her and say "grow the eff up... If you keep making drama then no one is going to want to spend time with you period."

    I'm not saying this to be hurtful. I am just afraid that if you don't take a chill pill and stop looking at the gf through negative nancy glasses then you may find that your son, of his own accord, will start distancing himself from you.

  12. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by WiseOldOwl View Post
    No guarantee I'll get next year if he is still with this GF. She seems to control everything they do. No guilt tripping. I'm not going to say anything. Sucking it up right now.
    I think you can still say something. You can say that you'll miss him and that it is only fair to have xmas lunch next year. I would have that conversation now so that the idea of alternate christmases is firmly established.

    Or you might consider what my family does. Every year I spend xmas day with the in laws & boxing day with my extended family - then we swap it the following year. So you get two full days of Christmas every year, it's awesome and nobody misses out.

  13. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    You sure it's the evil girlfriends doing? I bet your son can make his own mind up. No offence intended ... However you sound a bit bitter . And even if you don't plan on saying anything this type of attitude usually shines through.

    When my mum pulled the sour puss act on my sister and I as we met our new partners and left the nest I just wanted to shake her and say "grow the eff up... If you keep making drama then no one is going to want to spend time with you period."

    I'm not saying this to be hurtful. I am just afraid that if you don't take a chill pill and stop looking at the gf through negative nancy glasses then you may find that your son, of his own accord, will start distancing himself from you.
    Gee thanks, way to kick a person when they are down. Yes right now I am bitter. And to be honest GF is a bit of a PITA, but I'm always nice to her and cook her dinner even if she never says thanks for dinner.
    Last edited by WiseOldOwl; 03-12-2014 at 21:51.

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