My husband and I are both 44 and have been through a number of IVF / ICSI cycles here in Melbourne (and I in Canberra.....lucky we love a road trip!!) with little success.
After our latest failure this year came with the realisation that we were getting to an age, and financial situation, that we only had one more shot in us. The decision was made to go use a donor egg. We initially thought of going to Czech Republic as we had been there a few times and really enjoyed it (and lets be honest....the country is also very kind on the budget....!) but we finally decided on South Africa. We hadn't been to Africa and we thought the people looked a lot like Australians (is that silly..??)
I then kicked into gear and found a number of very professional donor agencies all willing to help and pretty soon we had, what seemed like hundreds, of donors to check out. They give you photos of them as a child and sometimes pictures of their children (which was the case for our donor) they were also very happy for us to send them a photo and give feedback on the match with them as an adult (as they aren't legally able to provide your with any identifying details of them as an adult) The search was strange as we were looking at a lot of pictures of gorgeous children and picking them apart physically (you don't start off doing that but then you get a bit more ruthless....) and it was also difficult not to get bogged down in the details about them ("what? they don't like dogs!?!?! Who doesn't like dogs...?!?!") Once we decided that the must haves were their health, age of the donor (we chose a 26 year old) If they had successfully donated before (our donor had two children) and we wanted brown hair with green eyes the same as my husband and I were had our match.
We have just come back from South Africa last week and found out over there that we are pregnant!!! Very early days of course but the HCG levels look really strong and I'm feeling nauseas and having headaches (is there any other time that those feelings would feel so utterly wonderful....??)
Anyway, I thought I'd post this as there may be someone out there who is thinking about the process and may have questions or there may be someone out there who has recently gone through the same thing.
Would love to hear from you either way!