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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2014

    Default What if you can't agree?!

    Hi all

    Just got a couple of questions-not sure how to proceed....

    My ex and I are arguing about holidays? Just wondering what holiday arrangement other people have- kids are 3 and 5 they live with me and alternative weekends with him. So with me 12 out of 14.

    We don't have a formal parenting plan tho just started mediation process....

    I wanted to go on an extended overseas trip which Wld mean him missing four of his nights which he wldnt agree to so I'm cutting my trip short (despite the fact I am giving him 8 of my nights for a planned holiday later in the year). Now he is asking for another week without agreeing to my overseas plans first

    How to people sort this out?!

    Just for your info we don't communicate very well and never will die to his emotional and psychological abuse

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  3. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Have you offered him 'make up nights' for the one's he is missing? If there are no orders in place he can not stop you taking the kids. I would be texting him asking if he plans to go ahead with his holiday and if so you will take this as an agreement that you can take the children on your holiday. Let him know you love that he takes the kids on holiday and thank him for supporting your holiday time with the kids. Sometimes you have to reword things to get what you want.

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    100 Posts in a week
    We have 6/14 nights and their mother has the rest.
    We basically give in to whatever she says, as she will do it regardless.

    So this year the kids are with us xmas eve for 8 nights, then hers for 2 nights, us for 8 nights, hers for 18 nights, and then it's our weekend with them and we're back to normal.

    The original agreement was we do 1.5 weeks, she does 0.5 week, then we do a week. Then she does 1.5 weeks, we do 0.5 week, and she does a week. Then our weekend and back to normal.
    This was to fulfill the parenting agreement of 'each party is entitled to 50% of all holidays'. Done this way (instead of a straight 50/50 split) because she didn't want more than 1.5 weeks away from them. Fair enough.

    Not what happened though. We have them for the full length of this week, and then they go back to hers on 12th, until our weekend on 30th.

    We have started keeping two log books- "Approved Time" and "Actual Time". She is always quoting the P.A. at us (we have never broken it) and threatening to relocate. So we started keeping noted of everything, in case something happens.


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