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  1. #21
    Allymumtobe's Avatar
    Allymumtobe is offline Winner 2012 - Most Optimistic Poster
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    You don't have to comply with with a recovery order though. My in laws, inlaws had an issue with a mum to took off a cross the country with a child and they had parenting orders in place and she just ignored it and they could be up for kidnapping if they went up there and got the kid to bring him back! Mental!

    Obviously not the best way to do it, but it is possible

  2. #22
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    It's just so hard. I think I'm actually frightened I'll lose DD. I always accommodate my ex DH. Even when I shouldn't. I never wanted some messy battle with him.

    A few years ago he was sending emails to my DF from a hotmail account he set up. It was not long before DF and I were officially together. They were threatening etc. He was that stupid that he sent them to DF's defence email. The police tracked the IP address back to ex DH's work. He wasn't charged but he has a record for it.

    Then last year ex DH's girlfriend put my kids in the boot of her car and took them out 'bush bashing' because it was 'fun'. I went ballistic but I didn't have her charged when I should have. This is the cr*p they do. They can be really irresponsible. I provide a normal stable life for them and it scares me that he could end up with DD. it's hard enough having DS there.

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    It's obvious by you throwing up different ideas etc that you have your kids best interests at heart and that you really love them and your DF.

    I don't mean to be a Debbie Downer... But the thought of driving halfway between Albury and Sydney every fortnight would send me nuts! Fortnightly, IMO, is a bit ambitious.. Especially if you have a young bub and your ex has to take your son to sports. To be honest I think once a month would be pushing it, but it's do-able.

    Unfortunately I think it's going to come down to both you and your ex recognizing that with the move there's no way the father/daughter relationship can stay the same. And finding some way to either come to terms with that (increased access over holidays etc)... or not.

    I understand you feel a lot of pressure with bub coming and no doubt missing your DF. ... I wouldn't be so quick though to tell your DF to take the contract. There are many people that will be affected by this: you, your DF, your kids, your ex. No matter what happens someone will pay a price: if you move both your kids, your ex. If you stay: your DF and potentially you if finances are significantly impacted. I've known someone in a similar situation to elect to stay in the same location as the older child and live apart from the spouse for a couple of years. Now that would be bloody hard too. Please if it is possible give yourself some time to think about it... And have a good heart to heart with your ex. If there's time perhaps mediation.

    No doubt I am biased by my own personal experiences as a child however I am just not a fan of kids paying the price when it comes to accommodating a new spouses career.

  4. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to VicPark For This Useful Post:

    Jodes35  (01-12-2014),LotusMum  (02-12-2014)

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    Thank you. I'm going to concentrate on the baby/kids and Christmas and then revisit it.

    The drive between Albury and Sydney will be a pain in the ar$e every fortnight. You're right, any decision or choice is going to hurt someone. I feel trapped and sad about it all.

    I'll give my ex his time to process it and then we'll need to talk.

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    No doubt I am biased by my own personal experiences as a child however I am just not a fan of kids paying the price when it comes to accommodating a new spouses career.
    I agree with this. If your partner is willing to change careers, I would be seriously considering taking him up on that offer. Your kids deserve to have both parents in their lives.

    Good luck with it all.

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    Quote Originally Posted by HarvestMoon View Post
    Oh ok. I thought you said she was 15? Or you have another DD as well?
    Yes I have an older one too.

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    Best of luck with bubba. How are things going on that front? Are the older kids excited?

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Best of luck with bubba. How are things going on that front? Are the older kids excited?
    Thank you!

    I'm due on Wednesday. No real movement on the labour front yet. I had my midwife appointment today and I chickened out of a sweep. As over it all as I am, baby is quite happy inside, I'll wait it out!
    The kids are so excited, it's so nice. The older ones have been a great help with the house and keeping me entertained.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jodes35 View Post
    Yes I have an older one too.
    Oh ok. Well that makes sense then.

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