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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Sounds like a nice idea but in reality I think it would be very disruptive. The poor child wouldn't be able to have any normal weekend sport activities etc.,
    True though this is the reality for many children in separated families and for some the families live close by. Maybe her dd doesn't do weekend sports unlike her ds?

  2. #12
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    Have you asked your DD what she wants to do?

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  4. #13
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    Do you have parenting orders in place now? In short yes he can stop you from moving away if it is going to stop any arrangement you have in place now. A friend of mine has just gone through this and the courts are very stern on having both parents in the child's life. Have you asked her what she wants to do? She may want to stay with her brother?

  5. #14
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    I really appreciate all your advice, thank you so much.

    I agree with everything you've all said. I guess I was shocked that he suggested that DD live with him, that blood draining from your body type of reaction. I absolutely see his point because my DS will stay with him and it will break my heart. I have offered the every second weekend to him. DS plays rep basketball some weekends so I'll work with him with that. I can fly DS up to me but we'll need to 'meet half way' in the car with DD because she's too going to fly. I'm good with that though, my choice to move so that's a sacrifice I need to make. DD doesn't play weekend sport so we don't need to worry about that.

    I have spoken to both kids about it. DD is a little bit of a gypsy and a very social little girl. She loves the new places and meeting new friends. I am lucky there. She's happy to go back to Sydney. DS is sad and who can blame him. I have given him the option of coming because I need him to know I am not leaving him behind as such. He's happy with his Dad. He starts high school next year, he has his mates and sports etc. it hurts but I understand. I would never 'take' him away from that. My DF said to me today that if it's going to turn into a huge sh*t fight, he'll come home and get a regular job. But for now, I've said to take the contract.

    We don't have any orders in place atm. I've spoken to ex DH and he's asked for time to process it all which I am happy to do. It's not a time for any arguing etc atm. I'm still getting legal advice though.

    My plan will be this;

    * Once a month or fortnightly weekends. Once a month would be better, but I'm willing to compromise.
    * Skype sessions (whenever they want).
    * Half and half with school holidays.
    * And I'm going to encourage ex DH to come up to Sydney and actually see the area we'll be in, the school and Sydney itself. I tried to get him to do that last time and he just never did.

    I'll see what he says.

    Thanks @VicPark for replying, I was hoping you would! Great advice and lots to think about. We would stay in Sydney for at least 3 years because I want my older DD to finish her last years of high school at the same school.

  6. #15
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    What does your DD want to do? Don't children get a say where/ whom they reside with once they reach 12 years (or thereabouts) of age?

  7. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by HarvestMoon View Post
    What does your DD want to do? Don't children get a say where/ whom they reside with once they reach 12 years (or thereabouts) of age?
    She wants to come to Sydney but she's only 8 so I'm not sure that it will matter legally.

  8. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jodes35 View Post
    She wants to come to Sydney but she's only 8 so I'm not sure that it will matter legally.
    Oh ok. I thought you said she was 15? Or you have another DD as well?

  9. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jodes35 View Post
    I've spoken to ex DH and he's asked for time to process it all which I am happy to do. It's not a time for any arguing etc atm. I'm still getting legal advice though.
    No parenting orders in place means you can move now. Giving him time allows time for him to see a lawyer and get you served at which point you can no longer move without the court's approval, if I recall correctly. In short, You could officially change your address before that happens but still offer him everything you're talking about. It's just that once the move is done, the court can't force you to move back (unless I'm horribly mistaken) but they can stop you from moving in the first place.

  10. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Goblin Queen View Post
    No parenting orders in place means you can move now. Giving him time allows time for him to see a lawyer and get you served at which point you can no longer move without the court's approval, if I recall correctly. In short, You could officially change your address before that happens but still offer him everything you're talking about. It's just that once the move is done, the court can't force you to move back (unless I'm horribly mistaken) but they can stop you from moving in the first place.
    He can actually apply for a recovery order if she moves now and be ordered to move back. That is even without custody orders currently in place. It can be a lengthy process, but it is definitely a possibility.

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  12. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Barnaby View Post
    He can actually reply for a recovery order if she moves now and be ordered to move back. That is even without custody orders currently in place. It can be a lengthy process, but it is definitely a possibility.
    Wow, you learn something new every day. I would've thought it was impossible without parenting orders currently in place. Definitely best to get his okay first, then. Hopefully he'll be amenable.

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