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  1. #21
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    A majority of overweight people are overweight due to bad lifestyle choices, eating unhealthy, not exercising and often have high blood pressure and high cholesterol because of it and put themselves at risk of many other health issues occurring. So yes I would advise my dh to lose weight if he was obviously overweight and I would hope he would do the same if it were me. I believe it's important to lead a healthy lifestyle and be a good example health wise to your children.

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    We both tell each other we need to lose weight but it's true since I'm about 30kgs heavier than I should be and DH is about 15kg heavier than he should be. In the scenario OP describes the wife sounds like a Grade A biatch but hey, she's not my wife and he's obviously fine with it.

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    I wouldn't tell DF that he needed to lose weight but we have talked about it. He told me he wanted to lose weight and get his muscles back so I try to support him when I can or remind him that is what he wants when he forgets.

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    My DP is a tradie, built like a rugby player (muscles on muscles but carries a bit extra around the middle, like seriously his 13 year old's rugby coach is constantly asking him to play seniors games). I would NEVER tell him he should lose weight, that would really hurt his feelings.

    I'm supportive and encouraging if he talks about getting back into running but I never point blank say "You need to lose weight".

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    I think it's reasonable to encourage your partner to lose weight, as long as you go about it in a respectful way and you're realistic about it ie. telling your partner that they need to maintain abs of steel vs encouraging them to lose some of the 70kg they've put on during your relationship.

    I also don't think it's wrong for your partner to want you to lose weight because they don't find you as attractive anymore. They may not care if you put on a significant amount of weight, but they may and those feelings are just as valid. Physical attraction DOES play a role in relationships.

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    Default Would you tell your partner they need to lose weight?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kimberleygal1 View Post
    A majority of overweight people are overweight due to bad lifestyle choices, eating unhealthy, not exercising and often have high blood pressure and high cholesterol because of it and put themselves at risk of many other health issues occurring. So yes I would advise my dh to lose weight if he was obviously overweight and I would hope he would do the same if it were me. I believe it's important to lead a healthy lifestyle and be a good example health wise to your children.
    I agree most (as in the majority) are overweight due to lifestyle choices, but unfortunately there are many who are over weight from things out of their control.

    So, Would you think the same if for example he had to go on meds that made him stack on the weight or was diagnosed with something that negatively effected his metabolism?
    Last edited by A-Squared; 27-11-2014 at 11:22.

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    I would never tell DH 'you need to lose weight', and I certainly would expect he would never say that to me.

    We have in the last 2 years though, had a number of conversations about the desire for us to eat healthier, excercise more etc - and we have both made the effort.

    We had a competition on who could lose the most (which I won ), and now chat occasionally about keeping it off.

    He goes to the gym, which I am supportive of ... make time for etc. And I go bike riding which he encourages.

    We are encouraging without being mean or putting each other down if it doesnt happen. And its something we both do together.

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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    I agree most (as in the majority) are overweight due to lifestyle choices, but unfortunately there are many who are over weight from things out of their control.

    So, Would you think the same if for example he had to go on meds that made him stack on the weight or was diagnosed with something that negatively effected his metabolism?
    I would encourage him to try regardless of why he had gained weight. He wouldn't be comfortable being overweight anyway so would appreciated my support. I think some people use such reasons such as medications as an excuse so therefore don't try to lose the weight. A friend of mine gained 15kgs from her cancer treatment but she was still determined to lose the weight and she did, she didn't just sit back and think "oh well the medications have made me gain weight, nothing I can do"

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    I think the only situation it would be ok in would be if the excess weight would kill them.

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    I have told my dh he needs to lose weight, but sensitively and with love, not in a b!tchy way. He is always going to be a bigger guy, and i absolutely love him for who he is & i know he will never be 'thin' - nor do i care or want that for him. I want him to be healthy. He is 150kg at the moment, and i am scared that he will leave me a widow and single mother at 35 because of health problems due to being so overweight. He is a very active guy by nature, but stuggles to do what he wants at his current weight. He has a big build, but he looks & feels a lot healthier at around 40kg lighter than he is now. I find it hard to know how to support him to lose weight, without him feeling hurt.


 

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