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  1. #11
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    Thank you all so much for the replies, there are great suggestions here. Just to clarify, I was actually in with the doctor at the time, so I couldn't really distract her or take her for a walk. I felt awful, between a rock and a hard place, I knew she wanted my attention but I also needed to listen to the doctor to get some vital information about my condition. In the end I had to rush out so I paid for a full appointment and only saw the doctor for half the time and barely caught what they were saying; overall a disaster of a day *sigh*.

    I will definitely try taking the iPad and using more distraction next time. Any ideas for when I'm actually in with the doctor? I felt like I was wasting her time and she didn't look impressed at all.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mama Mirabelle View Post
    Thank you all so much for the replies, there are great suggestions here. Just to clarify, I was actually in with the doctor at the time, so I couldn't really distract her or take her for a walk. I felt awful, between a rock and a hard place, I knew she wanted my attention but I also needed to listen to the doctor to get some vital information about my condition. In the end I had to rush out so I paid for a full appointment and only saw the doctor for half the time and barely caught what they were saying; overall a disaster of a day *sigh*.

    I will definitely try taking the iPad and using more distraction next time. Any ideas for when I'm actually in with the doctor? I felt like I was wasting her time and she didn't look impressed at all.
    She didn't look impressed? You'd think as a doctor she would be a bit more patient. I would have probably apologised to the doctor but continued as if my child wasn't having a tantrum Sometimes you just have to get on with it and ignore their behaviour. If other people judge, that's their problem.

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    Renn  (26-11-2014)

  4. #13
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    Aww, that must have been hard happening whilst you were actually IN the office!

    My daughter's 2, and I generally attempt to:
    -pack a special bag with her own wallet, toy phone, special small toys, a book etc.
    -keep anything she can't have away from her, if possible (my bag, anything really obvious on the doctor's desk etc.)
    -try to distract her with something interesting if she's looking interested in something she can't have
    -simply remove something she grabs if she can't have it, very simple like you did "you can't have that, it's dangerous".
    -if she gets upset, I acknowledge how she feels, but stand firm "I know you really want those keys, but you cannot have them"
    -offer something else she likes, or offer a cuddle
    -if she refuses/continues, just ignore her until she's calm enough to be distracted/comforted

    It's hard though in a situation like you were in...you needed to be there, and so many people seem to expect you should DO something.
    Personally I wouldn't go in for smacking etc., as it's treating it as naughty behaviour. At 2, it's just a way of expressing that they're upset. They don't really understand how to reign in their behaviour yet...and it's not fair to treat them as naughty simply for being upset...they can't help that.

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  6. #14
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    My dd3 has a rather serious health condition which sees us at numerous Drs on a regular basis so I can sympathise. This may not be my best parenting tip but if I have to get through an appointment and all else fails, I give a chuppa chup lolly pop. (I always have an emergency one hidden in my bag for plane rides or Drs appts) She gets them so rarely that it distracts her long enough to get through the appointment. But any other time if she is playing up I'm rather strict and take her home or time out if we are home already. Sorry to hear you are having health problems. X

  7. #15
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    Can you reduce the time waiting before the appointment at all, maybe calling and checking if they are on time? Could he appointment be scheduled at an easier time - not near nap/meal times etc? Also, while waiting spend the time interacting and explain what's going to happen in the appointment. Try and keep the distraction items for when you've actually gone in with the doctor. It's always hard when they decide to have a tantrum when you're doing something important

  8. #16
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    It's hard to calm them down once they are in full tantrum.
    Their brain get saturated with stress hormones, so much that they don't even hear us anymore :-(

    I found what works with my kid is to pick him up and hold it tight against me. He will fight the hold but I keep holding him tight.

    It helps as it makes him feel contained, secured, calmed, gets the oxytocin flowing again and then you can talk with them again.

    He usually calms down very quickly.

    I've used this method numerous time, like when stuck on a 14hrs flight in a seat in between two strangers.

    If I can I give him clear simple instructions to do things that will help me and keep him busy. It can be anything (go get some oranges at the supermarket for example).
    It keeps him focus on the task and he doesn't get overwhelmed by everything around him and all the potential frustrations.

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  10. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by SuperGranny View Post
    I will maybe get slammed for this, but having had my children so close together, I had no time for tantrums. I couldn't just deal with one child and ignore the others. I couldn't try to gently talk one child out of a tantrum while the others were running away or doing some other mischief. I would just take everyone to the car, and if I had to slap the tantruming child I did.
    That's what I think I'd do if our boy chucked a tanty in woolies. Just leave and go back to the car. He's two now, and starting to have tantrums at home, but thanks to the arrival of a new bub I've been having groceries delivered for the last few months. So I haven't had the chance to try that tactic. I'm sure my time will come!!

  11. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by ExcuseMyFrench View Post
    It's hard to calm them down once they are in full tantrum.
    Their brain get saturated with stress hormones, so much that they don't even hear us anymore :-(

    I found what works with my kid is to pick him up and hold it tight against me. He will fight the hold but I keep holding him tight.
    I do this with our boy when he's crying and screaming. I know I can't reason with him - he's just two and he can't hear me for all the screaming. So I sit on the floor with him and just hold him until he calms down. BUT unfortunately I can only do this at home and only if his baby sister is sleeping. Otherwise I have to leave him to scream. I am only one person.

    I don't know what I'd do if he had a tanty in a doctor's waiting room. I guess if it wasn't urgent I'd leave. But if you *need* to see the doctor... maybe I'd pick him up and go outside for a walk and before going ask the receptionist to text me when the doc is ready.

    ETA just read that you were *in* the doctor's office. No, I can only sympathise. I have no idea what I'd do.
    Last edited by debsch; 26-11-2014 at 22:41.

  12. #19
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    Ds1 didn't go through the tantram stage until he was 3, after struggling initially I found ignoring the behaviour worked best as once he knew he wasn't going to get attention misbehaving he stopped. That stage didn't last too long. Ds2 is nearing 4 and never went through it. I don't leave the house without ds2's bag packed with a snack box, drink and a few cars and books. Often have had to wait a few hours at appointments and he is usually pretty good, he has a lot of patience.

  13. #20
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    My ds is almost 2 and has started tantrums. I actually find the way he goes about it really funny for eg., he will run on the spot with his I call it monkey face because it is all scrunched up and cute looking. Open his mouth and start to wail, I just look at him say really? And laugh. It doesn't bother me if other people are looking at him/me because they would have been in my shoes at some point and if they say they have never had a tantrum child they are lying. All kids tantrum! Testing the boundaries and it is at this stage that we as parents need to not give in. If I say no it means no. I will stand my ground tantrum or not. If my kids say I want this that or the other I make a joke of it and say well I want a million dollars but we dont always get what we want. Try and laugh it off because at the end of the day if you watch the way they carry on it is really funny. Could you imagine if us adults behaved like that lol.


 

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