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  1. #1
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    Default Tantrums in public, what do you do?

    So I had a doctors appointment today and I couldn't get anyone to babysit DD 2 years old so I took her with me.

    She has just entered that phase of power tantrums and I feel like I can't take her anywhere.

    I took some toys and snacks to entertain her and for the first couple of minutes she was fine, then she started going through my bag, taking out things and throwing them all around, when I said no she can't play with that because it's dangerous and took the bag away and the dangerous items she was playing with (medication, pack of mints she could choke on) she completely lost it. She was on the floor screaming at the top of her lungs. I tried ignoring her but it only ramped up and eventually I had to just rush out of there.

    I was beyond mortified. I have recently been diagnosed with a serious condition and I will be having many more appointments in the near future and besides my DH and occasionally my Mum I have no one to ask to babysit. Any suggestions for how I can manage this behaviour in the future, after the morning I had I'm willing to take any and all advice offered!

    TIA

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    Subbing. I'm terrible at breaking the tantrum cycle. Usually removing them from the situation is the only thing that works for me, but obviously you can't really leave the waiting room every time your toddler has a tantrum. I don't use this strategy, but perhaps a little entertainment on the iPad/iPhone may work hold your toddlers attention for longer? I don't like using screens to placate kids, but if you are going to be taking her to loads of doctors appointments then it may be very effective. A necessary evil I guess. Good luck with it all

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    usually I pack snacks, toys, ds his ''own'' bag with nicknaks in it.

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    Thanks GingerKat I offered her my iPhone as a last resort but she was already in tantrum mode by then so it was probably too late as she just chucked it back at me. That's a good idea though, I might have to look into putting some Peppa Pig on the iPad.

    I'd love to find a way to nip this tantrum behaviour in the bud though, I understand it's developmental but I think I give in too easily because I'm horrified by how aggressive she becomes and I'm creating a little monster in the process.

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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    I will maybe get slammed for this, but having had my children so close together, I had no time for tantrums. I couldn't just deal with one child and ignore the others. I couldn't try to gently talk one child out of a tantrum while the others were running away or doing some other mischief. I would just take everyone to the car, and if I had to slap the tantruming child I did. I would also pinch the tantruming child on the soft skin of the upper arm. and make them pay attention to me. if the behaviour didn't stop, we would all go home and come out again later , if that was a option. I really don't remember too many tantrums, I must have stopped them before they developed into the crazy stage. I do remember pinching my children, and I do remember giving them the occasional slap. I know how politically incorrect that is now, but such is life. marie

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    debsch  (26-11-2014)

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    Dd has had to see an ophthalmologist at the hospital every 3-4 months since she was 1 yr old. We are always there for a minimum of three hours. I always pack a bag of knick knack toys, snacks and an iPad with games/tv shows. If she starts to lose it, I distract her, encourage her to "play" with other kids (say hi etc) or take her for a walk around and find some different scenery. It's tough waiting with a little one. Hugs xx

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    Thanks Marie! No judgement here, that is actually exactly what my parents did with us and we never reached crazy tantrum stage either. I don't think I can do it though, I don't know, DH says he thinks she deserves a slap on the bum if she's throwing a God Almighty tantrum but I'm not so sure it'll help, I think it might make her aggressive behaviour worse.

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    I am that horrid woman.
    I simple say to them that can cry and scream all they like. They are not getting Xyz or doing Xyz. Screaming and crying don't work on me. If they throw something I are them pick it up, even if that mean I carry them to it Al force it I to their hand. Than they must either sit on my lap for a firm hold (it calms my sensory kids) or at my feet until the calm down. Once they are calm than we talk about what happened and why happened and what we could do better next time.

    For me it's a teaching tool not a embrassing moment.
    Last edited by LoveLivesHere; 26-11-2014 at 18:24.

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    DS is only 1.5 so he's not old enough to really understand why he's not allowed to do things. But he definitely already knows what no means and as soon as I say it he has a tantrum and will hit me, throw things, kick his legs etc. It's draining. But I find he's pretty easily distracted. If I'm somewhere like the doctors where I know I'll have a long wait and I need him to be quiet, I bring the tablet or let him play with my phone.

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    It's horrible isn't it! I have had to wait over an hour at the Doctor's numerous times now with my 3 1/2 yr old and 20 month old so of course have had the inevitable tantrums. While on the inside I am dying of embarrassment and feeling completely judged by the onlookers - I try to remain calm and ignore or try and distract. I have never given them what they want just to ease the tantrum as I feel like it will pay off in the long run to not give in. It always stops eventually and everyone else just needs to suck it up.

    Sometimes no amount of preparation can avoid a tantrum.

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    yvona  (26-11-2014)


 

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