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  1. #81
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    Default Sexual assault at school *trigger warning*

    Changed my mind
    Last edited by harvs; 25-11-2014 at 20:21.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SeymourTheBear View Post

    Painting a six year old as a deviant, gossiping about his life and actions are going to achieve nothing. I doubt he had malicious intentions. I can't say the same for the adults in this situation.
    This boy is no doubt a victim himself. I'm not trying to dismiss that but if he pulled a kids pants down and licked her bum he is a deviant: a risk to other innocent kids. Having a private chat with the principal isn't gossiping. And which adults are you suggesting have malicious intentions? You really think parents such as Kimberly are intentionally trying to hurt the boy?

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    So when would be the right time for Kimberly to chat to the principal? When her kid is in the class? When her kid is assaulted by the boy? Prevention is better than cure.
    At this point in time -
    1) Her children are nowhere near this boy

    2) They do not go to the same school

    3) They have no interaction with the boy

    I would say if she is concerned - then a general inquiry about how the school prevents bullying or inappropriate behaviour would be better than a direct 'Did you know about this and how are you going to stop this deviant from coming near my child?'

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  5. #84
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    This boy is no doubt a victim himself. I'm not trying to dismiss that but if he pulled a kids pants down and licked her bum he is a deviant: a risk to other innocent kids. Having a private chat with the principal isn't gossiping. And which adults are you suggesting have malicious intentions? You really think parents such as Kimberly are intentionally trying to hurt the boy?
    He is not a deviant. In order for him to be a deviant he would have had to intended to cause harm or grief or pain - and I'm betting he didn't. I'm betting he's a six year old who has no idea what's right or wrong and has had quite a few authority figures let him down.

    Do I think a town gossiping about what should have been a confidential incident (both on his and the girls behalf) and speculating about his intentions and home life, with full knowledge that it will probably follow him through his schooling is malicious?
    You bet I do. There are laws against defamation for a reason. Talk is harmful. Rumours are harmful.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SeymourTheBear View Post
    At this point in time -
    1) Her children are nowhere near this boy

    2) They do not go to the same school

    3) They have no interaction with the boy

    I would say if she is concerned - then a general inquiry about how the school prevents bullying or inappropriate behaviour would be better than a direct 'Did you know about this and how are you going to stop this deviant from coming near my child?'
    The boy is enrolled next year at Kimberly's kids school. I think next year will be too late. Sorry but when you are talking about sexual assault which can have devastating effects on the victim, I would choose a have a short private chat with the principal approach anyday over a wishy-washing "how does this school deal with bullying" approach. My kids safety is worth it.

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    @Kimberleygal1 if you are concerned for the safety of your children then I don't think it's unreasonable to speak to the Principal. Obviously the Principal will be bound by confidentiality requirements, but I imagine he'll be able to address your concerns and discuss the measures that the school has in place/will put in place to keep every child safe from similar incidents (in a general sense, so not specifically regarding this student).


    Just thought I'd also add that the Principal at my children's school is very approachable. He has made it very clear to all parents that if they have any concerns or wish to discuss rumours or gossip that they've heard from other parents or on Facebook, then he'd much prefer they make an appointment to see him, so that he can clarify and discuss the matter.

    He writes a reminder of this several times a year in the school newsletter because of parents gossiping on facebook and he gets really frustrated with it!

    In this situation I imagine he'd much rather parents come to him with their concerns that discuss it with others.
    Last edited by sky1; 26-11-2014 at 06:58.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SeymourTheBear View Post
    He is not a deviant. In order for him to be a deviant he would have had to intended to cause harm or grief or pain - and I'm betting he didn't. I'm betting he's a six year old who has no idea what's right or wrong and has had quite a few authority figures let him down.

    .
    According to google search your definition of deviant is incorrect ImageUploadedByThe Bub Hub1416910990.166754.jpg

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    Quote Originally Posted by cheeeeesecake View Post
    I completely disagree that the incident is not sexual assault. The boy is (likely) a victim, but so is the girl. If another child did that to my DD, I would be feeling very upset and overprotective.

    KG, I am a teacher, and I think you are well within your rights to speak with the principal. I have worked in schools where parents would come with concerns about other children regarding similar incidents. It is the principals job to know how to handle the issue sensitively and without disclosing any information.
    I actually agree, I consider it a sexual assault as well, by a boy that is most probably a victim himself. It was a terrible thing for this little girl and KG has every right to be talking to her children about open communication, good touches bad touches etc etc. My heart goes out to this little girl.

    My issue here isn't that she is discussing her concerns. She has pretty clearly said she recognises there isn't going to be an open dialogue with the Principal and that she wants to essentially let him/her know. We are trying to tell her they know. There are protocols involved and given the child is a CP client the case manager would have had some level of disclosure and a behaviour management plan drawn up with the school.

    My concern isn't that she's upset for her friend's child or that she wants to protect her own. It's that it comes across as gossiping and 'dobbing' of sorts when they will already know.

    Trust me, his case manager, Principal, teachers are already working towards a plan. Just bc you dont know about it doesn't mean it's not happening. Discuss harm minimisation strategies with your kids, keep a watchful eye and let the professionals do what they are trained to do.

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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    I actually agree, I consider it a sexual assault as well, by a boy that is most probably a victim himself. It was a terrible thing for this little girl and KG has every right to be talking to her children about open communication, good touches bad touches etc etc. My heart goes out to this little girl.

    My issue here isn't that she is discussing her concerns. She has pretty clearly said she recognises there isn't going to be an open dialogue with the Principal and that she wants to essentially let him/her know. We are trying to tell her they know. There are protocols involved and given the child is a CP client the case manager would have had some level of disclosure and a behaviour management plan drawn up with the school.

    My concern isn't that she's upset for her friend's child or that she wants to protect her own. It's that it comes across as gossiping and 'dobbing' of sorts when they will already know.

    Trust me, his case manager, Principal, teachers are already working towards a plan. Just bc you dont know about it doesn't mean it's not happening. Discuss harm minimisation strategies with your kids, keep a watchful eye and let the professionals do what they are trained to do.
    I am a teacher, i agree that the school staff would be well aware of the incident & the child. I disagree that the school are automatically doing something to protect the children, some schools are great about this kind of thing. Some schools are sh!t at it - i think it was last week a hubber had another child put his finger in her dds bottom, and the school handled it terribly - they pulled both children in to the office together, and they made her sit next to the boy after the incident occured. As a teacher, i think it is reasonable for KG to ask what the school does to prevent puttimg the children in uncomfortable positions where they can be assaulted. I also agree with PP that the principal would prefer KG to go and speak with him privately, rather thsn gossip amongst themselves as other parents are doing.

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    ...and why such deep concern that it may come across as dobbing? KG has already said she has a good relationship with the principal,and that she will approach the issue sensitvely. The principal is a professional, and knows how to handle it. If KG jad said 'i will march into the office and demand answers as to what shall be done about this child and how the school will keep them the h3ll away from my child!' Then i would feel concerned about her approach. In no way has she suggested she will do this.

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