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  1. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by ICanDream View Post
    Is that all you wanted? For us all to come on and agree with you? You see yourself as a concerned parent but given that it is not your child and quite frankly has nothing to do with you then you're aren't just being a concerned parent, you are being gossipy and interfering in a situation that at this current time has no impact on you. Given light of what's happened the other boy may not even be accepted, no one knows what is going to pan out, leave it to the authorities to deal with and be the support your friend needs.
    Perhaps Kimberly is just a little relived that someone is trying to understand what she is saying instead of going off half cocked and reading things into what she is saying that aren't there.

    What do you mean it has nothing to do with Kimberly? If her kid might be sitting next to this boy next year then it's got everything to do with her.

    No need to bring yourself down to personal attacks on Kimberly. Suggesting she's being gossipy is bloody ridiculous. If she was gossiping she would expect to get information from the principal.... She doesn't! If she was gossiping she would be talking about going around telling all the parents.... She's not! She's planning on talking to the principal, presumably in the privacy of his own personal office.

    Why is it so hard for people to believe that Kimberly is concerned for her own kid.

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  3. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kimberleygal1 View Post
    i didn't expect people to agree with me. Advice and discussion and to gage what others would do in this situation is what was expected, not nasty remarks and being classed as a gossiper. Obviously you have not had any experience with sexual assault of any nature being yourself or anyone close to you. If this child is going to my child's school in close proximity. (And he is going there next year, he's already been accepted, his sister goes there already) .. Like hell it has nothing to do with me.
    I'm sorry but you obviously don't know me or my background and my opinion doesn't change. I just don't have the same opinion.

  4. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Perhaps Kimberly is just a little relived that someone is trying to understand what she is saying instead of going off half cocked and reading things into what she is saying that aren't there.

    What do you mean it has nothing to do with Kimberly? If her kid might be sitting next to this boy next year then it's got everything to do with her.

    No need to bring yourself down to personal attacks on Kimberly. Suggesting she's being gossipy is bloody ridiculous. If she was gossiping she would expect to get information from the principal.... She doesn't! If she was gossiping she would be talking about going around telling all the parents.... She's not! She's planning on talking to the principal, presumably in the privacy of his own personal office.

    Why is it so hard for people to believe that Kimberly is concerned for her own kid.
    Now who's going off half cocked?

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  6. #74
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    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post
    Yes. But there are two issues at stake here. I'm going to put words in your mouth here based on your posts on this thread and suggest that you would consider the little boy to have forfeited his rights to privacy, sensitivity and confidentiality when he assaulted another girl? Sorry if I'm wrong on that. I don't think he has.

    I known KG has said that the mother of the girl has given permission for the event to be disclosed at the new school. Who gave permission on his behalf?

    Whenever we have students with sensitive issues transfer schools we make contact with the new school and discuss this. It's our job, not the job of any onlookers.

    Educating your own children in protective behaviours is the most appropriate response here.
    Don't be ridiculous of course I don't mean that. And I don't think telling a trusted professional who is charged with the welfare of students constitutes breaching the privacy of the little boy.

    Educating your own children on protective behaviors is an important part, but it's not the only key part. Ensuring people charged with the welfare of students are aware of potential sexual assault risk behaviors is just as important.
    Last edited by VicPark; 25-11-2014 at 20:06.

  7. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Perhaps Kimberly is just a little relived that someone is trying to understand what she is saying instead of going off half cocked and reading things into what she is saying that aren't there.

    What do you mean it has nothing to do with Kimberly? If her kid might be sitting next to this boy next year then it's got everything to do with her.

    No need to bring yourself down to personal attacks on Kimberly. Suggesting she's being gossipy is bloody ridiculous. If she was gossiping she would expect to get information from the principal.... She doesn't! If she was gossiping she would be talking about going around telling all the parents.... She's not! She's planning on talking to the principal, presumably in the privacy of his own personal office.

    Why is it so hard for people to believe that Kimberly is concerned for her own kid.
    I don't doubt for a minute that she isn't concerned for her child, it's not a personal attack it's my view on the opinion that same as I'd believe you were gossiping if the post was about you. I just don't think it's her place to say something about a situation that doesn't involve her at this point in time. It's an IF that her child might be sitting with him, it's an IF that he will go to that school, I just think NOW is not the time to be doing it.

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    I completely disagree that the incident is not sexual assault. The boy is (likely) a victim, but so is the girl. If another child did that to my DD, I would be feeling very upset and overprotective.

    KG, I am a teacher, and I think you are well within your rights to speak with the principal. I have worked in schools where parents would come with concerns about other children regarding similar incidents. It is the principals job to know how to handle the issue sensitively and without disclosing any information.

    As a parent, I would also be asking, "What steps will be taken to protect my child from this kind of incident occurring at our school?" Obviously the principal wouldn't be able to discuss the child in question, but he can give general information about school policies - for example, we send the children to the toilet with a trusted 'buddy', we will regularly discuss self protection with children, appropriate and innappropriate touch, etc. Some schools are better than others - in fact I remember a recent thread on BH where a girl was sexually assaulted by a boy, and the school did nothing about it. Not ok.

    I don't see anywhere that KG has suggested that she will ostracise the child, or that she will encourage her children to do so. It is reasonable to feel worried about her child being exposed to sexual behaviours. As a teacher, I would be deeply concerned for the boy, and would be doing everything I can to help him. I would also understand the worry of other parents, and would set things in place to avoid any future incidents occurring.

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  10. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by misskittyfantastico View Post
    So why even start the thread? What was the point? To drag some six year old child through the mud on a public forum?
    Come on. Of course that wasn't Kimberly's intention! Kimberly wanted advice on what to do. Now she might not take on board the advice to not talk to the principal, and she probably won't admit this because of the bashing she's getting, however I am sure people's words will have Kimberly making double sure she doesn't leak information to other parents or harp on for too long about it to the principal.

  11. #78
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    What exactly do you want out of this meeting with the principal?

    If it's already 'getting around town', I'd put money on the principal knowing even without official notification. He's probably shaking his head and pouring himself a drink as we type in preparation for the deluge of concerned parents.

    KG, I can understand that you are concerned and just want to protect your family. You feel the need to do something, address the issue before it becomes a problem - I get that. I do not see how any of this is going to help.

    Continue to reinforce boundaries and protective mechanisms with your boys, tell them to inform you or another trusted adult - and let the school and DCS address the little boys issues.

    Painting a six year old as a deviant, gossiping about his life and actions are going to achieve nothing. I doubt he had malicious intentions. I can't say the same for the adults in this situation.

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  13. #79
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    Quote Originally Posted by ICanDream View Post
    I don't doubt for a minute that she isn't concerned for her child, it's not a personal attack it's my view on the opinion that same as I'd believe you were gossiping if the post was about you. I just don't think it's her place to say something about a situation that doesn't involve her at this point in time. It's an IF that her child might be sitting with him, it's an IF that he will go to that school, I just think NOW is not the time to be doing it.
    So when would be the right time for Kimberly to chat to the principal? When her kid is in the class? When her kid is assaulted by the boy? Prevention is better than cure.

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    Quote Originally Posted by cheeeeesecake View Post
    I completely disagree that the incident is not sexual assault. The boy is (likely) a victim, but so is the girl. If another child did that to my DD, I would be feeling very upset and overprotective.

    KG, I am a teacher, and I think you are well within your rights to speak with the principal. I have worked in schools where parents would come with concerns about other children regarding similar incidents. It is the principals job to know how to handle the issue sensitively and without disclosing any information.

    As a parent, I would also be asking, "What steps will be taken to protect my child from this kind of incident occurring at our school?" Obviously the principal wouldn't be able to discuss the child in question, but he can give general information about school policies - for example, we send the children to the toilet with a trusted 'buddy', we will regularly discuss self protection with children, appropriate and innappropriate touch, etc. Some schools are better than others - in fact I remember a recent thread on BH where a girl was sexually assaulted by a boy, and the school did nothing about it. Not ok.

    I don't see anywhere that KG has suggested that she will ostracise the child, or that she will encourage her children to do so. It is reasonable to feel worried about her child being exposed to sexual behaviours. As a teacher, I would be deeply concerned for the boy, and would be doing everything I can to help him. I would also understand the worry of other parents, and would set things in place to avoid any future incidents occurring.
    Yes this


 
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