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  1. #31
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    I think I would be worried and concerned for my children as a natural reaction but I don't think I would interfere with the school. I would assume there would be some information disclosed to the new school and to be honest, I don't know that saying something would get you anywhere as it is confidential information - I think it would also compromise the little girls privacy as well as the 6 year old boy.

    It's not appropriate behaviour by any stretch of the imagination, but how can you not feel sorry for a 6 year old that has obviously been exposed to such behaviour as to think this is okay? You mentioned you saw some things in their parenting that you didn't like & you know they are known to DCP and you cut ties - not placing any blame on you however people turning a blind eye fails the child immensely. Maybe he needs adults who know right from wrong to be his voice where he can't?

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  3. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChelleBH View Post
    I think I would be worried and concerned for my children as a natural reaction but I don't think I would interfere with the school. I would assume there would be some information disclosed to the new school and to be honest, I don't know that saying something would get you anywhere as it is confidential information - I think it would also compromise the little girls privacy as well as the 6 year old boy.

    It's not appropriate behaviour by any stretch of the imagination, but how can you not feel sorry for a 6 year old that has obviously been exposed to such behaviour as to think this is okay? You mentioned you saw some things in their parenting that you didn't like & you know they are known to DCP and you cut ties - not placing any blame on you however people turning a blind eye fails the child immensely. Maybe he needs adults who know right from wrong to be his voice where he can't?
    My friend has given me permission to mention the incident to the principal and state exactly what happened as she feels the same way in that the school needs to be aware. We both have an appointment with the principal on Thursday. As it turns out it is getting around town, dh just got home from work and a colleague knew about it.

    dh and a work colleague did express their concerns to the grandfather when witnessing an incident with the boy and we also made a statement to dcp regarding other things we had witnessed. That's as much as we can do. It's up to dcp to look into what they are advised of.

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  5. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by trustno1 View Post
    If DCP feel that the school needs to know, they will tell them, not you. How do you know this isn't a one off?.
    If it's a one-off it's still bloody well not ok!

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    Completely agree with Whirligig.

    I work in OOHC too (although I haven't been in it for long), and the last thing these kids need is to be stigmatised by adults. Yes, every child's safety needs to be protected, but there are various authorities and professionals planning for this behind the scenes.

    At 6, it's not just "how he is". There likely will be many other incidents to come, and it's awful for all involved, but he too deserves the best possible chance at a normal life where he can learn what is and isn't socially acceptable behaviour.

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  9. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kimberleygal1 View Post
    My friend has given me permission to mention the incident to the principal and state exactly what happened as she feels the same way in that the school needs to be aware. We both have an appointment with the principal on Thursday. As it turns out it is getting around town, dh just got home from work and a colleague knew about it.

    dh and a work colleague did express their concerns to the grandfather when witnessing an incident with the boy and we also made a statement to dcp regarding other things we had witnessed. That's as much as we can do. It's up to dcp to look into what they are advised of.
    I am so sad to hear this is getting around town - for both your DS and the child. Neither of them need it dealt with via idle gossip, we're not talking about adults here - what happens to these kids now can shape their lives (yes both of them) and I think everyone needs to stop talking and leave the authorities to deal with it - this goes for your friend as well, how is her DS going to feel being gossiped about, let alone the boy that clearly needs help.

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    I would have a very brief chat with the principal... Along the lines of "it's up to you. And I certainly don't expect you to divulge anything to me. However just incase things have slipped through the cracks I thought I would let you know. Fred Smith sexually assaulted a child last year. Dcs are aware if you want further details contact them. "

    I disagree that it isn't your business. Hell if your kids are going to go to the school and be near this boy then it's damn well your business. I would chat with the principal purely out of a fear that something may have fallen through the cracks and the principal wasn't aware. When your kids safety is involved it's your right to stick your nose in. I wouldn't go gossiping to the other parents. If the boy started harassing kids at the new school I would demand the principal do something or I would tell the parents.

    As for what to tell your kids. If it was me I would talk to my child about personal boundaries, tell them to be forceful if needed if someone invaded their personal space (eg pull down pants) and you know what I probably would tell them to stay clear of Fred Smith.

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  12. #37
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    For those interested I have added a link which shows sexual behaviours that are of concern and those that are normal using a traffic light system. It has been used a quite a few training sessions I have been to on children and sexualised behaviour,

    http://www.fpq.com.au/pdf/Br_SexualBehaviours.pdf

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  14. #38
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    I feel so sad for both children, but especially the little boy.

    Chances are he is acting out what he has experienced as 'normal' in an abusive history. Breaks my heart. Hope he receives the safe, loving care he needs.

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  16. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ashram View Post
    For those interested I have added a link which shows sexual behaviours that are of concern and those that are normal using a traffic light system. It has been used a quite a few training sessions I have been to on children and sexualised behaviour,

    http://www.fpq.com.au/pdf/Br_SexualBehaviours.pdf
    Great link

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    Quote Originally Posted by BbBbBh View Post
    I will probably get slammed but what really sh*ts me no end is when people see that there are issues with children but people cannot stretch their hearts a little further to help the actual child who is displaying 'at risk behaviours'. Or they turn a blind eye. If you know the grandfather why don't you extend your hand and see what support can be offered to him and this child? This child is 6 years old and from what you have said he needs love and understanding not ostracising by being painted as 'that kid'. The one to warn your kids about, the one other parents should keep their kids away from. Yes it's important to be mindful of inappropriate behaviour but it's also important to be mindful that if the child is not being exposed to inappropriate behaviours then they will start to settle down with the right support. It's important to be inclusive of children who may have been exposed to abuse. Yes protect your children but don't paint this child in a negative light because he is 6yo. What can you possibly do that is positive to support him whilst watching out for the wellbeing of other children in your community?
    Sorry but it wasn't just a game of kiss chasie gone wrong. One kid pulled another kids pants down and licked her bum. That's sexual assault that is going to scar that poor girl for life. I don't care how cold this sounds but my first priority would be protecting my own child instead of rehabilitating the boy. And unless a child psychologist said he's no longer a risk to other kids I wouldn't want him anywhere near my kid at school.

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