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  1. #101
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    Quote Originally Posted by cheeeeesecake View Post
    I am a teacher, i agree that the school staff would be well aware of the incident & the child. I disagree that the school are automatically doing something to protect the children, some schools are great about this kind of thing. Some schools are sh!t at it - i think it was last week a hubber had another child put his finger in her dds bottom, and the school handled it terribly - they pulled both children in to the office together, and they made her sit next to the boy after the incident occured. As a teacher, i think it is reasonable for KG to ask what the school does to prevent puttimg the children in uncomfortable positions where they can be assaulted. I also agree with PP that the principal would prefer KG to go and speak with him privately, rather thsn gossip amongst themselves as other parents are doing.
    I saw that thread and the school handled it horribly. I agree, not every school would handle this type of behaviour the same as the next. The difference here is the Dept is already involved, in that other thread they weren't. This little boy either has a dept case manager or the dept has tendered out the case management to a foster care agency/NGO where he would have a worker. Given it seems obvious the change of schools is from a direct result from this incident, the worker would be negligent in not at least disclosing some details. They can breach confidentiality to other professionals if a)he's a risk to himself b) he's a risk to others. It's fair to say this poor kid fits category b.

  2. #102
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    It depends KG, he should know the appropriate behaviour - if he has been brought up with carers who taught him that. However, if he himself has been a victim of abuse, or seen inappropriate things, then he might not know. Of course, not all victims of sexual assault, assault others. I know 3 of the sweetest siblings who were brought up in a horrific house, and when they were first removed they would pretend to do sexual things with each other - because that is all they ever saw their mother do, in front of them, with strangers all the time. The mother didn't care and she never explained to them that it wasn't something you do, that your private are your privates and all of that kind of stuff. They don't act like that anymore, because their carers have told them what is and isn't appropriate.

    I feel concerned for that little boy, it seems that there is or has been something going on in his life that is not right.

    I understand that you are conceded though. You'd want to hope that the records were sent to the new school. Is there anyway you can ask DCP exactly what is the procedure - i.e. will records be sent or not. That way you can find out without getting personally involved.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kimberleygal1 View Post
    wow so you think this is normal behaviour for a 6 year old? By this age a child should know right from wrong, what is or isn't appropriate. My 6 year old would never think of doing this sort of thing. He knows to keep his hands to himself and that no one touches his private parts, heck my 3.5yr old knows this too. If either of my children touched each other or anyone else alarm bells would ring for me. I sat the boys down this morning and let them know what had happened without mentioning any names and you could tell by the look on their faces they knew this behaviour was not right. Having been sexually abused myself as a child and recently enduring a 4 day trial where my nieces abuser was jailed for sexually abusing them for 4years, the entire subject is raw for me and I will do whatever possible to protect my children.

    In my earlier post I mentioned dh and I used to associate with this child's foster parents. There's reasons for that. In short we saw things we didn't agree with and cut all ties. The poor children are no better off in their current placement than they were removed from. Our ds wouldn't even go near this child from day 1, just didn't like him for whatever reason when he usually likes everyone. My dh's police experience, he knows that behaviour of this nature at this young age is a recipe for disaster, there will be more incidents occurring more than likely. It's not the child's fault but it is how it is. And it is sexual assault regardless how young the perpetrator is. He knew what he was doing.

  3. #103
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    Our school has almost 700 children in it, so you are saying that it is ok for 1400 parents to make an appointment with the principal because there is a rumour going around town that a 6 year old did something inappropriate? Really VP - you of all people, you usually respectful of the authorities and leaving said authorities to do their job etc.

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Perhaps Kimberly is just a little relived that someone is trying to understand what she is saying instead of going off half cocked and reading things into what she is saying that aren't there.

    What do you mean it has nothing to do with Kimberly? If her kid might be sitting next to this boy next year then it's got everything to do with her.

    No need to bring yourself down to personal attacks on Kimberly. Suggesting she's being gossipy is bloody ridiculous. If she was gossiping she would expect to get information from the principal.... She doesn't! If she was gossiping she would be talking about going around telling all the parents.... She's not! She's planning on talking to the principal, presumably in the privacy of his own personal office.

    Why is it so hard for people to believe that Kimberly is concerned for her own kid.

  4. #104
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    My heart breaks for the little boy....i cant imagine what he has been through and what he must endure every day....... so incredibly sad... he needs positive role models in his life and he needs love and support... what a sad situation he must be in...


    as for the little girl... I hope she will be ok and can over come this..

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  6. #105
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Tell me you didn't really think it was just about a kid sitting next to the boy?.
    - It's about the boy being close enough to another kid in a relationship sense.... Which may end up in the boy possibly following them into the toilets, pulling their pants down and licking heir bum.

    I feel sorry for the little boy and don't want him alienated.. However my kid comes first. Unless a specialist signs off that the kid is rehabilitated/the school has 'iron clad' measures to protect other kids, I wouldn't want to put my kid in a position where they may be sexually abused. My kids safety comes before the boys rehabilitation.

    I am scratching my head as to how people on here can't understand that a parent would be uneasy having their child around a kid with a history if sexually assaulting other kids. I'm sure people wouldnt be putting their hands up to work side by side with a convicted adult sex offender if they knew of their past. And no I'm not saying the little boy is up there with a convicted adult sex offender. Just that it's human nature for people to distance themselves from risk!
    Of course I understand the point but I'm saying it's not based on a rational argument. There's a million things no one knows about this so it's naive to think the boy's proximity to anyone means he's going to do something to them. It's more likely that another kid would do something, a kid that hasn't done it before and isn't being watched by teachers. You'd be surprised how common incidents like these are and most of the time there simply isn't a history of abuse or reason that it's happened.

    If there has only been one incident and this child is 6, there's no such thing as rehabilitation. Obviously it was inappropriate but it's adults who are labelling this a sexual offence. There's a strong possibility it was a game or experimental for this child, not necessarily sexual at all. A "specialist" is unlikely to see the child at all if that was the only incident and no professional would ever definitively say someone is rehabilitated, they make an assessment about the risk of reoffending.

  7. #106
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    I understand what you are saying VP, I do. But again, you aren't looking at this from all angles. But I want you to think about this from a different perspective. What happens if one of your kids was sexually assaulted at some point - and lets face it - this is a very common occurrence - the stats in Australia are 3 in 6 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually assaulted as a child.

    And what happens if your child started acting out the behaviours they had experienced? You would be ok with gossiping and parents going up to the school and telling the principal everything that happened, that they were worried and scared and they wanted a psychologist to sign off. And worst of all - you yourself would consider your very young child a sexual deviant - rather than an abused child who was acting out behaviours they had learned off someone very nasty. How sad.

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Tell me you didn't really think it was just about a kid sitting next to the boy?.
    - It's about the boy being close enough to another kid in a relationship sense.... Which may end up in the boy possibly following them into the toilets, pulling their pants down and licking heir bum.

    I feel sorry for the little boy and don't want him alienated.. However my kid comes first. Unless a specialist signs off that the kid is rehabilitated/the school has 'iron clad' measures to protect other kids, I wouldn't want to put my kid in a position where they may be sexually abused. My kids safety comes before the boys rehabilitation.

    I am scratching my head as to how people on here can't understand that a parent would be uneasy having their child around a kid with a history if sexually assaulting other kids. I'm sure people wouldnt be putting their hands up to work side by side with a convicted adult sex offender if they knew of their past. And no I'm not saying the little boy is up there with a convicted adult sex offender. Just that it's human nature for people to distance themselves from risk!

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  9. #107
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    Quote Originally Posted by HollyGolightly81 View Post
    Then what was the point of asking for advice?
    That's my view not Kimberly's. And just because she doesn't accept one part of the advice given, doesn't mean she's not taking anything on board.

  10. #108
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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    Our school has almost 700 children in it, so you are saying that it is ok for 1400 parents to make an appointment with the principal because there is a rumour going around town that a 6 year old did something inappropriate? Really VP - you of all people, you usually respectful of the authorities and leaving said authorities to do their job etc.
    That's not what I am saying at all. I can see your point that if every single parent of a large school went to the principal it would be a problem. However as a parent, if my child was likely to be in proximity to the little boy at school then I couldn't hold back *just incase* someone else had already told the principal. I hear what people are saying in that the principal will most likely already be in the loop. However they can't say this with a 100% certainly. And I couldn't knowingly send my kid to school with a child who has sexually abused other kids without being 100% sure the principal was in the loop. My child is more important than the risk of duplication.

  11. #109
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    I would want to hope that DCP or Docs or whatever it is in WA would have a meeting with the principal. I would be concerned if they didn't do that kind of thing.

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    That's not what I am saying at all. I can see your point that if every single parent of a large school went to the principal it would be a problem. However as a parent, if my child was likely to be in proximity to the little boy at school then I couldn't hold back *just incase* someone else had already told the principal. I hear what people are saying in that the principal will most likely already be in the loop. However they can't say this with a 100% certainly. And I couldn't knowingly send my kid to school with a child who has sexually abused other kids without being 100% sure the principal was in the loop. My child is more important than the risk of duplication.

  12. #110
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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    I understand what you are saying VP, I do. But again, you aren't looking at this from all angles. But I want you to think about this from a different perspective. What happens if one of your kids was sexually assaulted at some point - and lets face it - this is a very common occurrence - the stats in Australia are 3 in 6 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually assaulted as a child.

    And what happens if your child started acting out the behaviours they had experienced? You would be ok with gossiping and parents going up to the school and telling the principal everything that happened, that they were worried and scared and they wanted a psychologist to sign off. And worst of all - you yourself would consider your very young child a sexual deviant - rather than an abused child who was acting out behaviours they had learned off someone very nasty. How sad.
    Just because I don't agree with you it doesn't mean I am not looking at it from all angles. It just means that I place one angle (my kids safety) above all others.

    Good point about what would I do if my kid has been abused and in turn abused another kid. For starters I would take my kid to a therapist and have that therapist work with the school on an appropriate plan. I would expect the principal to have a plan to protect my kid from gossip and have measures in place to prevent other kids from being abused (by my child or others) in school. I would expect the principal to not divulge any personal details to other parents, but I would expect the principal to outline (in private) to concerned parents general measures that have been put in place to protect all kids from abuse in the school. I would rather a parent talk about their concerns in private with the principal, than go gossiping in the school yard. I don't think anything that Kimberly has done/suggested doing goes against this.

    Can I throw a scenario your way? What would you do if it was your daughter that had been sexually assaulted by anther student in the toilets? How would you feel? Would you not chat with the principal and see what measures had been put in place to protect your kid? Or would you shy away from doing this in order to be not seen as a gossip? What if your kids best friend had been the one abused? Would you want to know what measures had been out in place to protect all kids?


 

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