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  1. #841
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    your dh should've kept his mouth shut. my mil is a bit of a blabber mouth, not maliciously, she just struggles to keep big news to herself. knowing this, we both agreed no news would be told to anyone until we were both ready to have everyone know.

    it's annoying he thought he could tell her though and she's not managed to keep it quiet for your sakes. I'm sorry it ended up in a fight between you and your dh too!

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  3. #842
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    It's just really frustrating because we both agreed not to tell anyone and he just goes and tells his mum anyway! And of course I would reasonably expect that if he did let it slip-that person would keep it to themselves. I'm still really angry about it.

  4. #843
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    Quote Originally Posted by Redcorset View Post
    When my first (DD) was a newborn my MIL told me my baby is "quite clingy" to me and my SIL repeated her views with "yes, she's a mummy's girl". WTF she was only a few weeks old!
    Then later step-FIL told me I was quite "overprotective" - from a man whose never had kids of his own
    Wow. Just wow! Some people were just born stupid!

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  6. #844
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    We haven't seen or heard from mil for almost 11 weeks now, since ds2 was 5 days old. It was the first time I'd seen her since finding out the horrible things she'd been saying about me to dh (did she seriously think he wouldn't tell me?!!) and to say it was frosty is an understatement. Before that she'd only seen us when dh had called her to try to organise, and it was usually around every 2 months. She only lives 15 mins from us.
    Christmas is fast approaching and i need advice. Is it unreasonable of me to not want her visiting on Christmas day if she decides to get in contact with dh to try and organise? I mean it's been almost 3 months without a peep from her. Not to mention all the other crap.
    It's my first christmas without my dad (he passed late august 3 weeks before ds2 was born), my mum won't be coming to stay as it is still too raw for her. It's our first christmas with ds2 who we had a difficult pregnancy with (there was a period of time we thought we'd lose him) and a traumatic birth too. So at the moment it will just be dh and i and our 2 boys, and possibly a visit from dh's brother and his wife (who also don't speak to his parents). I'm quite happy with that, a low key xmas sounds perfect after the tough year we've had. And to be honest i don't have the strength to fake nice to that vile woman. So how do i go about telling dh this in a nice way. He hasn't said anything about the possibility of her coming over. I think maybe he's had enough of her antics too and is sick of chasing her up to visit all the time. He doesn't really talk about it unless i bring it up, which i have no intentions of doing if i don't have to. BUT if it comes up .... honestly the only problems in our marriage arise from his parents. I don't want it to be christmas eve and dh says "oh btw mum is coming over tomorrow". I will lose the plot. 😒

  7. #845
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    I don't think it's unreasonable at all not to want her to come over. Christmas is supposed to be fun and joyful. Doesn't sound like she's much of either!

    If she doesn't ever ring to organise a visit, I'd just say to your DH that you're looking forward to a quiet one with just your family. Then he can agree or say he was thinking about calling her and you can say you'd prefer him not to because of XYZ. Might go down better than just telling him she's not welcome?

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  9. #846
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    I'd just say to your DH "I'm really looking forward to a nice quiet xmas this year, with just us and our boys. Oh and BIL & wife if they pop over for a visit". Then if he brings up his mum you can explain that after such a tough year you really don't have the emotional energy to deal with her being in your house, but if he wants to pop out to visit her at some point he can do that.

    I have told my DH that I won't spend xmas with his family again after they've been so rude and awful to me, so he's going to visit them on boxing day. That's our compromise and we're both ok with that.

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  11. #847
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    So as some would know my h and I are separated, according to my mil it is up to me to make h want to spend time with ds and make the effort to sort out our issues if we are to get back together.

    I'm sorry but it isn't my responsibility to make him WANT to be a father or a better husband or to support his family. If he thinks it's so great going off and being with the boys and jumping at everybody else's whim then so be it. I'm not going to grovel.

    Sent from my GT-I9507 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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  13. #848
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    Quote Originally Posted by Frankenmum View Post
    I'd just say to your DH "I'm really looking forward to a nice quiet xmas this year, with just us and our boys. Oh and BIL & wife if they pop over for a visit". Then if he brings up his mum you can explain that after such a tough year you really don't have the emotional energy to deal with her being in your house, but if he wants to pop out to visit her at some point he can do that.

    I have told my DH that I won't spend xmas with his family again after they've been so rude and awful to me, so he's going to visit them on boxing day. That's our compromise and we're both ok with that.
    True except he doesn't speak to his father who disowned him because we didn't visit them enough after we had ds1 and i returned to work. So I'm not sure where they would go. She's not interested in us, we get ignored, she acts like she's perfect grandma and is all about ds1. I pretty much became invisible after he was born.

    We will see. If she does end up coming over because there is nowhere else to go, I'm not playing happy families

  14. #849
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    Default SH!T my MIL says

    Try having your mother in law live with you for 2 months 😢I am seriously about to crack. One more day until this nightmare is over 😶

  15. #850
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    Quote Originally Posted by LoCo View Post
    Try having your mother in law live with you for 2 months 😢I am seriously about to crack. One more day until this nightmare is over 😶
    Nooooo! Just hugs, I couldn't do that.


 

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