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  1. #691
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlueLips View Post
    I'm 5 weeks pregnant and we have told my 2 year old DD.

    My mil found out about the pregnancy and when DD said

    "I'm a big sister"

    She said

    "No you might be a big sister, you aren't a big sister".

    She also told me not to get attached to the pregnancy and really i shouldn't even be putting any thought into it because it might end badly.
    Hugs - that is a horrible thing to say. And to your DD!

    My MIL is pretty good. On my previous pregnancy we decided to tell my mum (who lives overseas) and my MIL (to keep it fair) when we found out. As soon as we told her she *had* to tell FIL and SIL (fair enough but I had not told my brothers or dad - we agreed to it at the time). After my first scan she took it upon herself to tell people. I was barely 6 weeks pregnant. DH called and told her to stop telling people. We had to tell the people who were told to zip it as noone in my family knew. And then we get an angry call from SIL that we made her cry.

    And what about my tears? And that I was upset that I couldn't tell people my news?? Did not matter.

    What made it worse is our NT results were not good (for T13/18 ) and I really did not want to say anything until we had results but we had to due to the news spreading already *sigh*.

    So this pregnancy we have not told anyone. And we will make sure WE tell people.

  2. #692
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    Quote Originally Posted by twinklify View Post
    Hugs - that is a horrible thing to say. And to your DD!

    My MIL is pretty good. On my previous pregnancy we decided to tell my mum (who lives overseas) and my MIL (to keep it fair) when we found out. As soon as we told her she *had* to tell FIL and SIL (fair enough but I had not told my brothers or dad - we agreed to it at the time). After my first scan she took it upon herself to tell people. I was barely 6 weeks pregnant. DH called and told her to stop telling people. We had to tell the people who were told to zip it as noone in my family knew. And then we get an angry call from SIL that we made her cry.

    And what about my tears? And that I was upset that I couldn't tell people my news?? Did not matter.

    What made it worse is our NT results were not good (for T13/18 ) and I really did not want to say anything until we had results but we had to due to the news spreading already *sigh*.

    So this pregnancy we have not told anyone. And we will make sure WE tell people.
    Hugs. My SIL did the same to us with our first. I think it was out of excitement, but I wasn't happy about it. We then lost the baby, so we had all these people (some we barely knew) saying congrats when they saw us, and having to tell them we'd lost it. Was not fun.

  3. #693
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    Default SH!T my MIL says

    Quote Originally Posted by AdornedWithCats View Post
    It's likely in your case it's either recessive (so both carriers) or a random occurance. But that's not always the case. Sorry to hear your daughter died, I did not know that. xx I can't imagine what it's like to feel at "fault".
    Thanks. Her genetic testing actually came up clear, they assume it may have been a syndrome because she had 3 physical symptoms common with syndromes but there is so much they still don't know about genetics that it is likely it was a syndrome that has not yet been discovered. Because of this there is no way to test DH and I as it would not show up since they do not know what they are looking for, so no way of knowing if it was random or not.
    Last edited by HollyGolightly81; 27-09-2015 at 21:22.

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    AdornedWithCats  (27-09-2015)

  5. #694
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    Quote Originally Posted by HollyGolightly81 View Post
    Thanks. Her genetic testing actually came up clear, they assume it may have been a syndrome because she had 3 physical symptoms common with syndromes but there is so much they still don't know about genetics that it is likely it was a syndrome that has not yet been discovered. Because of this there is no way to test DH and I as it would not show up since they do not know what they are looking for, so no way of knowing if it was random or not.
    I'm so sorry. What an awful thing to go through.
    The syndrome my daughter has is very rare. And often misdiagnosed or under diagnosed. We lost our first baby and the syndrome we carry was likely the cause. But they would never have tested for it. Unless for family history. Of which there's none.
    I'm so sorry you lost your little girl. xx

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    HollyGolightly81  (28-09-2015)

  7. #695
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    Quote Originally Posted by HollyGolightly81 View Post
    I may be remembering this wrong, but when we saw a geneticist a couple years ago I'm fairly certain she said that BOTH parents have to be carriers of the gene which is why syndromes are rare, because it's rare to meet a person that has the same gene mutation as you. So you would both be carriers, not just him. Or, it can happen completely randomly, which means neither of you are carriers.
    That is interesting to know... am always open to info regarding it cos its still really all new to me... unfortunately it was explained to me that dd syndrome doesnt follow any of the typical characteristics of a syndrome but is classed as one due to the involvement of the spinal cord... we did actually ask if this haplened becausr of both if us but the genetics dr explained to us in this particular situation going off what little research there is on her syndrome its only ever passed down from one side or can be a mutation anomoly... so now its the wait game for bloods as neither dp or I have visible symptoms and of course commencing woth her surgeries

  8. #696
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    Quote Originally Posted by AdornedWithCats View Post
    It depends on the genetic disease. Ie. Huntington's only requires the presence of one mutated gene, not two, as the condition is dominant.
    This is how my dd condition was explained...

  9. #697
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlueLips View Post
    I'm 5 weeks pregnant and we have told my 2 year old DD.

    My mil found out about the pregnancy and when DD said

    "I'm a big sister"

    She said

    "No you might be a big sister, you aren't a big sister".

    She also told me not to get attached to the pregnancy and really i shouldn't even be putting any thought into it because it might end badly.
    Wow..... i am so sorry that is how you have been treated!!! I just can not even imagine doing this to a daughter or son in law let alone to my own daughter or son cos really... thats what these woman are doing by acting like this... effecting the lives and happiness of their own children...

    I can imagine how upsetting and brutal that conversation must have been for you especially when you just want to be happy through your pregnancy its such knock down...

    Stay strong and dont let nasty comments bring rain to your pregnancy xxx

  10. #698
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    DH told mil my rubella immunity is low.

    She says

    " I think I have that too, I think it's contagious"

    Yup doesn't even listen

  11. #699
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    Quote Originally Posted by twinklify View Post
    What made it worse is our NT results were not good (for T13/18 ) and I really did not want to say anything until we had results but we had to due to the news spreading already *sigh*.
    This happened to us too. MIL made it all about her, like it was her baby who may be sick. She was a crying snivelling mess and ignored me when i told her to stop as she came to hug me. I put my hands up and said "stop, please don't, i don't want to be upset anymore than i already am, can you please just not" - might as well have been talking to a brick wall. I was majorly struggling trying to deal with the fact that we may have to terminate our much wanted baby. I did not need or want her drama on top. But with her it's not about me and what I'm going through, it's all about her.

  12. #700
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    Today we told MIL we are expecting and after saying a couple of nice things she said "I'm having a baby to, I'm getting a new cat"

    WTF she knows it's taken us years to get pregnant and she's comparing it to picking up a stray from the RSPCA. I'm so angry and hurt, DH was speechless.


 

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