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  1. #11
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    Thank you for this thread. My 2 year old is not sleeping at the moment either- and wakes up at midnight on the dot every single night. It can take hours and hours to get her back to sleep. I'm hoping it's teeth because nothing else has changed, we have the same routine that we have always had and we make sure the room is a good temperature. Hopefully it will be a stage that passes soon.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Hey there. A developmental phase may be making things worse but I don't think it's the only thing playing a part.

    There are some things you can do, if they are in line with your parenting style, in order to promote sleeping through the night and reduce the impact on sleep of developmental phases. I may be shot for this but at 12 months unless there are medical issues bub should be able to sleep through most of the time.

    Sleep aids:
    My first thought is that 'negative' sleep aids (negative in the sense they can often involve adult intervention to rectify night wakings) are most likely impacting your bubs ability to self settle/resettle. If it were me I would ditch the dummy. Ditch the music (if bub wakes after the heaviest part of sleep eg 1-3am and the music isn't there bub will think "wtf... Where's my music!" ). I would ditch the patting or if you aren't comfortable with that do a watered down version. Eg a pat/shush technique I learned at he MACH clinic: pat the mattress above bubs head. , "shush". After a couple of minutes stop patting, keep shushing. After a couple of minutes move slowly away from the bed. Soften the volume of the shush. Then stop.

    One thing which I think could have a big impact is to introduce 20 minutes active play before bed. After the last feed, have play such as reading books, playing with blocks/cars/dolls etc. The idea is to help ensure bub is fully awake when you put them to bed so bub gets used to putting themselves to sleep instead of relying on music/dummy/feed etc.

    I would also reduce the fuss at night and be consistent. No lights, no TV, no talking, no bed swapping. If parents continually put on a dog and pony show the kid will wake simply to get the dog and pony show. Feeding at night I would wean back on... At 12 months unless there are medical issues a bub doesn't need to feed overnight. Bub will likely get in the habit of waking simply to get the feed/comfort. Solids intake during the day will be impacted, bub will get hungry and wake at night, it's a vicious cycle.

    Just remember it can take a week or so for any changes in routine to have an effect: hang in there and be consistent.

    Good luck.
    Thanks VP. I am totally aware that we aren't helping the situation as well. DP is on leave from Sunday so we've decided that we will use that month off to get him sorted, so instead of both of us being awake all night one night one person can be on duty and the other sleep elsewhere.

    I know he's capable of STTN but we have definitely gotten into some bad habits which are proving hard to break.

  3. #13
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    Good luck. When both partners are at home is definitely the best time to tackle it.

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    Both kids did this when about to embark on a new skill. This is when I either climbed into the cot to sleep or I shoved them in bed with me and ignored them.

    I made sure not to excite them by having the room dark, no noise and just kept repeating "nigh night time".

    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.

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    No advice but wanted to let you know younare not alone. DD is 1 this month and in the last week her sleep is fitful (also not a great sleeper). Also teething and wonder weeks, she is trying hard to sleep but taking ages to switch off, waking up crying, crying and flipping about in her sleep. Its rough, so you have my sympathy and sometimes knowing you arent alone makes it slightly more bareable.

    I dont want to derail the thread and im dont want to single you out VicPark but will use your post as an examaple ase you commented on this thread. I often see ppl give advice (or i receive it) make sure they fall asleep by themselves etc. Does someome ant to let me in on the little secret on how you manage this? If i just put my child down to sleep she would play, then get cranky then 2min later sreaming banshee. If i went in to comfort, if i left again screaming banshee as soon as i put her down. She is so alert and wired, does nt sleep in pram (except for 4weeks when she was 5mths h were she did but that stopped as quickly as it started), I could count the number of times on 1 hand she has slept in the car and I mostly have to cover her eyes to put her to sleep regardless of how dark the room is.

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    Quote Originally Posted by inner hippy View Post
    I dont want to derail the thread and im dont want to single you out VicPark but will use your post as an examaple ase you commented on this thread. I often see ppl give advice (or i receive it) make sure they fall asleep by themselves etc. Does someome ant to let me in on the little secret on how you manage this? If i just put my child down to sleep she would play, then get cranky then 2min later sreaming banshee. If i went in to comfort, if i left again screaming banshee as soon as i put her down. She is so alert and wired, does nt sleep in pram (except for 4weeks when she was 5mths h were she did but that stopped as quickly as it started), I could count the number of times on 1 hand she has slept in the car and I mostly have to cover her eyes to put her to sleep regardless of how dark the room is.
    Good point. Putting bub to bed awake is not as easy as clicking your fingers and bam it works. There's heaps more to it. It's like needing a handful of ingredients when baking a cake: try to skip a few or cook just with flour and you're screwed. And it doesn't happen perfectly right away... It can take time and hard work to get a bub to the point where they can happily fall asleep on their own. Some factors from what I think are key (most to least important) are:

    1. Start young, even only if in a watered down form (such as taking your boob out of your newborns mouth before they doze off). If you wait until bub is 1 it is going to be much harder as their habits are already pretty much formed.

    2. Set the scene for a good sleep. Ensure the temp and bedding is near perfect (it's an artform many parents underestimate the bedding needed) and ensure you put bub down for a nap at the right time (too early or too late and you're screwed). Ensure bubs nappy is clean and belly is full (solids is a whole other debate but let's just say leaving it too late can lead to hunger and poor sleep).

    3. Follow the eat play sleep philosophy. Don't feed right before every nap. With a newborn the 'play' might be very simple such as smiling at mummy it daddy.

    4. Sleep aids:
    A) use a 'positive' sleep aid (one that does not require adult intervention)such as a teddy head comforter with your smell on it. Only use it at sleep time. Use it at every nap (pram, cot, car). Do not underestimate the power of a good comforter to help bub get themselves to sleep. I used to watch my ds1 when he was a bub and he used to play with the comforter in his hands to help soothe himself to sleep. Stop swaddling when bub starts to roll/loses the startle reflex. Keeping bubs hands tied until they are older can affect them bonding with their comforter.
    B) If you need to use 'negative' aids (that require adult intervention such as dummy/rocking/patting/music) when bub is young, make sure you stop using them *just* before bub nods off. Eg if you use a dummy to calm your newborn then when bub is about to doze off wriggle it out of bubs mouth just before they lose consciousness. Picking the right time is an artform... Too soon and bub might crack it. It might take a couple of goes in a session to get it right and bub falls asleep. The same with the shush/pat technique I described in an earlier post. Or music, or whatever. Then when bub is over the worst of the newborn period (eg out f the fourth trimester) you can wean back even further and preferably stop using the aids altogether.

    5. Grizzle. If you have set the scene for bubs sleep appropriately (temp, bedding, time, clean nappy, full belly), let bub grizzle a little (protest) especially if they are older. Sometimes a grizzle is a sign bub is close to putting themselves to sleep. Don't pat/feed to sleep just to avoid a grizzle. Most of the time if the scene is set right bub only grizzles a handful of times. Note: I'm not suggesting people let bub cry an emotional cry at all. And I understand that even letting bub grizzle a bit is not for everyone.
    Last edited by VicPark; 21-11-2014 at 15:45.

  7. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to VicPark For This Useful Post:

    inner hippy  (21-11-2014),LittleBug'sMum  (22-11-2014)

  8. #17
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    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    Tonight toby fell asleep in his own cot. I was lying on the floor next to him and had my hand through the rail, but he fell asleep by himself, no patting or shushing or anything. Baby steps. I'm sure we have a long way to go but I'll take this victory.

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    IncyWincy  (21-11-2014),inner hippy  (21-11-2014),NancyBlackett  (21-11-2014),Ruby_Tuesday15  (21-11-2014),VicPark  (21-11-2014)

  10. #18
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    How did Toby go last night? Or are you all still asleep ??

  11. #19
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    He did his wake up for hours thing again. But he woke at 9:30 this time, went back to sleep at 11 and then slept til 7:45. He might've woken up but I didn't hear him.

  12. #20
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    No hours awake last night. Asleep in cot by 8. Took an hour as he realised what was going on but I just told him to lie down, and I would stay in his room. Whenever he stood up I left, and finally he lay down and fell asleep with me sitting next to the cot.

    A brief cry out at 2:15 and back to sleep until 6:30. Not too bad!

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