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  1. #11
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    Hun he is not your responsibility. He should be paying 30% rent and bills (since there are 3 of you living there) and pulling his weight with his share of the housework. What is he doing with all his money? Single rate of disability is about $600 a fortnight which is pretty crap... unless you are living entirely bill free

    There is a saying by Einstein I live by. "The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over and expecting a different outcome. " Nothing is going to change until you put your foot down. Tell him he either starts contributing or get out.

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  3. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Myztiks#1Fan View Post
    My dad is only 54. Mum used to do everything for him. I have supported him for just over a year now.

    Last week when i was off work coz of gastro, he didnt do a single thing, couldnt even cook dinner 1 single night while i was sick and had the courtesy of telling me i had a good week off work as i didnt do much.

    I have a BF but he doesnt live in the same state as me so we only see eachother every few weeks. Dad isnt even positive about my relationship with him either.

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    I would leave him behind and help him find suitable accomodation. My mum is similar but I know my situation is short term. It's emotional abuse.

    Can you change your shifts to full time afternoons/ft mornings? That way you could arrange long day care is it called?

    I've been at my mums a week and she's complained about dinner, mess etc she's on pension too. I do everything even though I'm here for support myself. I totally get you. Pm if need xxxx

  4. #13
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    I would kick him out. He's a grown adult who is just being a taker. You are miserable with him being there, so change the situation.

  5. #14
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    Monnie, i do perm mornings but having a lot of trouble with staff atm with constant bullying. Hence why i am doing night shifts if i can swap my morning for a night.

    Even if i could put kiddo in before school care, i would still have to quit my job as they no longer have 7am starts as they changed all the hours last year. Woud have to find another job which could be hard.

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  6. #15
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    why don't you look into going casual for an agency? Then you could pick and choose your shifts. And I agree, get away from the bullies.

  7. #16
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    First thing first, I would stop buying this b..dy milk, if he needs, then should go and buy. The rest is also to do one by one, but start with one thing when you stand for yourself, you should feel he difference.
    Surely, he won't go packing over a milk?

  8. #17
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    Hiring a babysitter would probably cost less than what he is sponging off you.
    Is that an option? Overnight would be more $$ though. Is your work sorting out the bullying?

    You poor thing, sounds horrible. I hope you can find a solution.

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  10. #18
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    How stressful.

    I have a real issue depending on people, and this is usually why. People have a hold on you.

    What would I do?

    I'd retrain in an industry where I don't need to rely on others, or start looking for a job where I don't need to rely on others. That way- if (or when) he chucks a tanty and packs his little bag to move out- I'll be saying "cya later".

    Put the choice back on him. Stay here and help a little around the house, or start looking for your own place.

  11. #19
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    Any the very least let him find a cleaner and pay for them himself. I think you need to have a big sit down talk and explain that you're not his wife or mother and he needs to contribute and stop whinging about things that have nothing to do with him. If he's halfway sensible he'll realise that he doesn't have many other options - sounds like he knows you won't 'let him' be homeless so he's milking that. Call his bluff.

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  13. #20
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    It depends on how old kiddo is. I always thought he was about 10-11 (or am I just jumping waaay ahead on ages here?)

    If he is 10-11 I'd start letting him walk to school on his own. He's done the walk with your Dad heaps so he knows the way. Get him a little mobile of his own If you're too worried.

    Essentially, your Dad knows he can find a new place to live or he knows you'll never let him be homeless. But he also knows you rely on him to earn a living. So you need to have his leverage from him.


 

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