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  1. #1
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    Default What do you expect your family to do

    If your mother/father or any other relative lived with you, bill free and they had to take your child/ren to school everyday, what would you expect house work wise? Even financially, would you expect them to contribute financially. They dont work however get disability pension.

    Just wanted to add you work shift work doing a mixture of morning and night shifts.

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    Last edited by Myztiks#1Fan; 20-11-2014 at 20:01.

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    It depends on why they were living with me. If it was because they were physically or mentally unable to care from themselves, I wouldn't expect anything. However if they were living with me as they're in a tight financial situation, I'd expect them to cook a few times per week, tidy any messes they make, do their own washing and probably do at least half of all other household chores.

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    I would expect they do a decent portion of housework if they were physically capable.
    Clear the table, do the dishes, clean the bathroom/toilet as needed, emptying bins, wiping kitchen benches etc.
    Even if they didn't share in all of the above, if I saw them going to the effort of some of these (of their own initiative) then I would be ok with that.

    If they were sitting around and free-loading, I would be asking regularly for them to do things until they got the hint hat their effort must be ongoing, in exchange for their free board.

    Oh and I would ask for $30-$40 per week to help cover meals.

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    I would expect the following:
    - a percentage of their income to cover food, bills and expenses (probably around the 60% mark, give or take).
    - depending on their disability, some housework including keeping their own spaces clean and doing their own laundry. At the very least they would have 1 daily job to do.

    If they have an income then they must contribute financially, you are not a charity and it is not your job to cover the costs of living for a parent. If they don't have an income then they should contribute in other ways such as housework, meal preparation, house maintenance etc.

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    I would expect them to pay a fair share of their income towards the food/utility bills and if I was renting I would expect them to pay a share too.

    As for housework it depends on their disability. I would expect a non disabled non employed houseguest (assuming kids at school not at home) to clean the house each day, cook dinner 5/7 nights, do their own washing and occasionally help with everyone else's washing.
    I wouldn't expect someone with a debilitating illness to do anything. However if your relative can drive the kids to school then obviously they are not that bad. So I would probably expect a bit from them. Maybe somewhere in the middle.

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    I think this is tricky and what's expected and what was agreed to before the decision was made to live together, can be two different things.

    I'd expect them to pay a share. It may not be an equal share but it would be a % of their income. After all isn't that what the pension is for? Living expenses?

    I'd expect them to keep their own space clean and common areas too.

    Everything else would depend on what is agreed to after discussion.

    It would also depend why they were living with me. If they had a disability preventing them from physically contributing then I'd want to be receiving a carers benefit of some sort and I'd put that towards some help around the house!

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    I sometimes work 50hrs a week in a very draining job. Tuesday morning i worked 6:30-1pm. Had 2hrs sleep then had to get up to cook dinner, feed pets, organise kiddo for bed etc. Then off to work from 10:10pm-06:40am the next day. That day i got 4hrs sleep broken up. I still make kiddos lunch for school and kiddo organises himself for everything else. My sleep was extremely broken as i had an awful toothache and mananged to get an appointment at the dentist and had 2 teeth removed.

    Went to work Wednesday night and struggled big time as i was so tired. Having to help with medication run this morning wrecked me. Come home and organise kiddo for school with lunch. Stay awake til about 9:30am then sleep on and off til 3:30pm.

    Dad makes a comment saying he is gonna look for someone to come tidy up after christmas. I asked why we need a house keeper when he is home everyday. He said i was the one who needed it, not him.

    This week, dad has done the dishes twice(few cups and few plates only). I have done 4 loads of washing this evening, bathroom and toilet big clean, scrubbed bathroom, toilet, hallway and kitchen floors, cooked dinner, organised kiddo and his homework, vacuumed the loungeroom and tidied up.

    My dad is more than capable of house work. Tomorrow when i get home from work, i will have to take kiddo to school and pick him up after school as dad will play his i am packing and leaving game. When he does that, i walk to work with a letter or resignation as i cant work as work dont have later morning shifts available so i can take kiddo to BSC. He will call me and tell me to not be so stupid.

    All dad does for kiddo in the morning is take him to school. I have to sometimes pick kiddo up from school due to dad being busy or in a foul mood coz i have my fan on and its wasting electricity which he doesnt pay for. He went off at me a few weeks ago as we got a reminder letter for electricity bill. It was almost paid off. I ended up paying it off right then and there to shut him up and told him to stop whinging coz it was paid off.

    I cant kick him out coz he has no where to go. I wont let him be homeless. Its a big catch 22 when i need him here so i can work.

    If there isnt milk in the house for coffee, he chucks the crappa at me despite him being the only one who really drinks milk with his coffee which i usually buy too coz its not worth an argument over $10.

    He complains i sleep too much after doing night shift. He complains to people i dont feed him when its his choice to eat what i cook. I cook at least 4 good meals a week. He will complain if kiddo doesnt eat all his dinner or doesnt have enough veges. He complains about taking kiddo to and from school. He complains if i go away for a weekend despite the fact i leave money and a house full of food. He complains about my cat who was here before him. He complains if i bring a guinea pig upstairs. He complains that kiddo has a lamp on to sleep with coz it wastes electricity.

    I feel so drained right now. I am ready to pass out and sleep but start work in an hour. Tomorrow i gotta take kiddo to school but honestly dont know if i have it in me.

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    You poor thing

    I suppose my response depends on your fathers age/medical/mental state. If he is elderly with mental issues then I would get him assessed for a nursing home position. You are a single mum? Working hard worrying about kids. You don't have the time to be babysitting an adult.

    If your father wouldn't qualify for a nursing home position I would ... Look into alternative childcare (babysitter, after hours family daycare) then tell him to pull his finger out or **** off.

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    My dad is only 54. Mum used to do everything for him. I have supported him for just over a year now.

    Last week when i was off work coz of gastro, he didnt do a single thing, couldnt even cook dinner 1 single night while i was sick and had the courtesy of telling me i had a good week off work as i didnt do much.

    I have a BF but he doesnt live in the same state as me so we only see eachother every few weeks. Dad isnt even positive about my relationship with him either.

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    What is his disability? Or is he milking it?


 

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