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  1. #1
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    Default Second baby blues

    Hi ladies,
    ive recently become pregnant with my second child I don't know how far along I am as I've lost 2 babies this year and don't want to have the scan as yet but I'm thinking around 10wks, this was a planned pregnancy but over the last week I've been down thinking how could I possibly love this child as much as I love my first child....is this normal?
    My DD is my world, she's from a previous relationship and I can't get my head around the fact it won't just be her I'm giving my time to anymore. She's excited to have a brother or sister but it's just hit me that our world as we know it is about to change.... I did suffer pre natal and post natal depression with her, just wondering if it's normal to feel this or if depression is starting to set in again.

    Feeling confused

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    I think it's normal. Our second was very much planned and wanted after a previous loss, but still didn't stop me from being upset about how DDs world was going to change. when DS was born and those baby blues hormones kicked in, I just kept crying because I was upset that DD would feel set aside.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by smallpotatoes View Post
    I think it's normal. Our second was very much planned and wanted after a previous loss, but still didn't stop me from being upset about how DDs world was going to change. when DS was born and those baby blues hormones kicked in, I just kept crying because I was upset that DD would feel set aside.
    How have u settled in now with bub ?? How has DD handled the change???

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    Not too bad now. My DD is 3 and loves and dotes on her baby brother. I still feel guilty every now and then when I can't help/play with her because I'm feeding or settling the baby. But I try to make time for her and activities that I can do with her during those times.

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    I think it is very normal to worry about how the second baby will change things. Lots of people I know worried about whether they would love their second baby the same way (they did), and felt sad their special time with just their first child was coming to an end. However, if it really getting to you, it would probably be a good idea to speak to your GP about it. Pregnancy can be such a difficult time, especially if you've suffered losses. Having someone to talk to could help manage any anxiety and might prevent depression creeping in.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mooncourt View Post
    Hi ladies,
    ive recently become pregnant with my second child I don't know how far along I am as I've lost 2 babies this year and don't want to have the scan as yet but I'm thinking around 10wks, this was a planned pregnancy but over the last week I've been down thinking how could I possibly love this child as much as I love my first child....is this normal?
    My DD is my world, she's from a previous relationship and I can't get my head around the fact it won't just be her I'm giving my time to anymore. She's excited to have a brother or sister but it's just hit me that our world as we know it is about to change.... I did suffer pre natal and post natal depression with her, just wondering if it's normal to feel this or if depression is starting to set in again.

    Feeling confused
    I have 15 years between my kids, DS is 15 and has been my whole world his whole life, DD is 3 months and was a very planned baby with a different partner.
    I was worried how DS would be after having me to himself for such a long time, he has always had "only child syndrome" as well and been very spoilt by my family so I was very concerned as to how he would be when DD came along. He has totally surprised me and adores his baby sister, he is super protective of her. Always happy to help if I ask etc. I try and make a point everyday of having some 1 on 1 time with him whether it's helping with homework or just chatting.
    I also wasn't sure if I could love DD as much as I love DS but I do, I absolutely adore my kids and I wouldn't have it any other way
    Im not sure how old your DD is but try not to stress about it, kids are amazingly resilient and adaptable. She may surprise you like my DS did.
    I also lost 2 babies while trying for DD its quite scary and difficult. Fingers crossed this one is sticky xo

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    I have also worried about this. I'm 26w pregnant and have a 17 month old. It took me a while to bond with the bub in my belly but now that I have it has eased my fears a little

    Please speak to someone if you are concerned.

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    Its good to know im not the only one that feels this!! DD is 8 and super excited i think its just me, through her fathers and i seperartion she was my rock and shes more like my little buddy then my child and i guess im worried to loose that! Her father doesnt have anything to do with her so its always just been us and im finding it hard to think how i could love this new baby as much. I havent told my DP as i dont want him to think i dont want the baby because i do, maybe change is scaring me.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mooncourt View Post
    Its good to know im not the only one that feels this!! DD is 8 and super excited i think its just me, through her fathers and i seperartion she was my rock and shes more like my little buddy then my child and i guess im worried to loose that! Her father doesnt have anything to do with her so its always just been us and im finding it hard to think how i could love this new baby as much. I havent told my DP as i dont want him to think i dont want the baby because i do, maybe change is scaring me.
    DP has a 9 year old DD from his previous relationship... She absolutley dotes on our DD too.. When DD was born we made sure the 2 older kids met DD before anyone else did and I think that made a huge difference to them bonding with her..

    DS's dad also hasn't got anything to do with him which was FOB's choice. You won't lose the bond you have with your DD you will always have a special relationship with her.. The bond and relationship you have with this baby will be just as wonderful but also completely different. Try not to stress out about it.. Im a firm believer that things happen for a reason...

  10. #10
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    Thanks for the reassurance! Im positive everything will be just fine and as you have said all your children have adjusted and adore the new addition which im sure will be the case here too! Hormones may just be getting the better of me at this point in time lol

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to Mooncourt For This Useful Post:

    DizzyDaisy  (19-11-2014)


 

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