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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Monkey'sMummy View Post
    Just playing devils advocate, if the only contact you're having with these friends is one letter a year at Christmas time, then I'd question if they really are friends at all? Actual friends would already know you've had a tough year, & should have supported you through it? So personally I wouldn't bother.


    Of course family / relatives are a little bit different because you're not always going to be "friends" with all of your family, but still want contact with them - & if you want to update them you could always take the middle ground & say "after a few challenges this year with x,y&z, we're looking forward to focus on the happy & positive things we've got as we come into the festive season" -- not to gloss over your troubles, but at least then they know on a very basic level & can contact you individually to discuss it further?.

    Sorry you've had a tough year xx
    Thanks Monkey's Mummy. Your "devil's advocate" question is the same question I have been asking myself for a while. These people were once close friends but I guess for a variety of reasons we have drifted apart. I like to hear what they have been up to and I like to hope they feel the same about me, but I hear from them so infrequently it is becoming increasingly difficult to have anything more than a one-sided relationship and that feels frustrating.

    Thank you for your concern about our tough year. I'm going through a bit of low patch at the moment and your kind comment has had more of an impact than you probably realise.
    Last edited by kbf2plus2; 19-11-2014 at 15:18.

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    Monkey'sMummy  (20-11-2014)

  3. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by firsttimemum34 View Post
    My dad writes christmas letters and I hate his! It seems to be all about bragging and he gets details wrong! I've been in one work place for 12 years and he still writes that I do something else!
    Anyway... I think letters are lovely providing they're not like the ones my dad writes!
    To decide if you should keep writing them maybe work out what your intention is for writing them. If it's to be reciprocated, I'd stop. If it's to let people know how you are and share your life, keep going.
    It would be nice if it were reciprocated but it still serves a purpose if it's not.
    If you're concerned that these people aren't quite as close as you had thought they were then keep it light or just a card even.
    Thank you also Firsttimemum. I hope my letters aren't like your dad's. I don't think they are. I don't think I write letters just to be reciprocated. I write because I enjoy writing and I like to share what's been happening in my world and I don't want to become a stranger to these people. I enjoy it when the people I care about take the time to share some of what's been happening in their life too. When they don't reciprocate, I guess I wonder if I have overestimated the relationship.

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    TheGooch  (19-11-2014)

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    Quote Originally Posted by kbf2plus2 View Post
    Thank you also Firsttimemum. I hope my letters aren't like your dad's. I don't think they are. I don't think I write letters just to be reciprocated. I write because I enjoy writing and I like to share what's been happening in my world and I don't want to become a stranger to these people. I enjoy it when the people I care about take the time to share some of what's been happening in their life too. When they don't reciprocate, I guess I wonder if I have overestimated the relationship.
    It's always difficult to determine the extent of a relationship. Especially if people aren't reciprocating.
    If you enjoy writing your letter, go ahead! I love receiving letters even if I don't write back! Your post has encouraged me to write back!

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    Quote Originally Posted by firsttimemum34 View Post
    It's always difficult to determine the extent of a relationship. Especially if people aren't reciprocating.
    If you enjoy writing your letter, go ahead! I love receiving letters even if I don't write back! Your post has encouraged me to write back!
    Thanks again firsttimemum. I do try to take into account that some people just aren't into letter writing, also.

    I had myself in a bit of a tizz the other day when I wrote my original post and was looking for a sounding board and a way for sorting through all the thoughts that were going through my head. I think I have sorted most of it now. Just been having an emotional few days.

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    I write letters/lengthy notes in cards at Xmas time to all our family both close and extended. Last year I mailed out 75 cards.

    I do it as it's a tradition in my family plus it's my way of letting people know I think of them and care about them.

    It does disappoint me that I get only 30-40% back in responses but I need to stop focusing on that instead of Xmas being the season of giving and sharing good wishes.

    Good luck- I love receiving mail too.

    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.

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    kbf2plus2  (19-11-2014)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia View Post
    I write letters/lengthy notes in cards at Xmas time to all our family both close and extended. Last year I mailed out 75 cards.

    I do it as it's a tradition in my family plus it's my way of letting people know I think of them and care about them.

    It does disappoint me that I get only 30-40% back in responses but I need to stop focusing on that instead of Xmas being the season of giving and sharing good wishes.

    Good luck- I love receiving mail too.

    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.
    I used to send out far more cards and letters than what I do now, so I guess I have already culled a lot from my list.

    Well done to you for sending out so many letters. That must be a truly momentous undertaking.


 

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