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  1. #1
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    Default Christmas letters?

    Christmas letters...

    do you write them?
    do you like to get them?
    do you prefer them to be superficial or "real"?


    I'm a letter writer and am often open and honest, but I am fed up with the lack of reciprocation so am wondering if I should bother this year.

    I know letter writing is old fashioned, but that's the kind of person I am. I don't facebook or twitter. The annual letter I write is the only contact I have with some of my family and friends. This year hasn't been a "good" year for us and I'm alternating between a "warts and all" account and just sticking to the "fluff". It has made me question the superficial nature of the exchanges and I am trying to work out if I want to perpetuate it.

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    PlayNice  (18-11-2014)

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    bump

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    Aww I think it's lovely that you write letters, not many people do that anymore. No replies must be really disheartening and itd make me sad but honestly I'd love to receive a letter. What about a Christmas card with a quick update in it?

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    kbf2plus2  (19-11-2014)

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    I'm a bit like you kbf2plus2, I write letters to friends & family every Christmas but I usually only get one or two back & I'm a bit over it too. I will be doing it this year but not sure if I'll continue after that. I don't know how I'd stop tho as I feel like people expect me to do it now! I try to keep my letters somewhere in the middle, so a bit of 'fluff' mixed with something more serious. I think they do still come out a little superficial tho. I'd say go with whatever you are comfortable with. Interesting thread, hope you get some more replies!

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    kbf2plus2  (19-11-2014)

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    Subbing - I am debating this also as I try to do cats every year but people are too busy these days not that I do it for the replies but it would be nice! For some people I am thinking of doing a letter inside it (close friends and older relies) will be more real with my close friends and the older relies fluff

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    kbf2plus2  (19-11-2014)

  10. #6
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    Thanks for your replies ladies. I really enjoy writing letters but I'm really struggling with what to write this year and if I put heaps of time and energy into it it's really disappointing when there is little or no response in return. I don't see the point in having one-sided relationships with people and I think if they can't be bothered, why should I?

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    I struggle too, but it isn't just with letters and cards a lot of my friends and family just are not great at keeping in touch. My sister and her wife are great at ringing me and instigating catch ups but then they are literally 15 minutes away if that and my sister is always working crazy hours (coppa) so I don't like just ringing cause she be cranky if she was sleeping!
    The rest I am always getting in touch with them first so it is the same whether it is a letter or a call. Being that we have been here like 18 months and only know my sister - if I didn't stay in touch with everyone we would be finding it even more lonely here so that is why I am always making the effort. I really get the frustration though it totally sucks

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    kbf2plus2  (19-11-2014)

  13. #8
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    Totally get where you are coming from. We are in Victoria but I grew up in Queensland and that is where most of my family and friends are. Family is important to me and I want to maintain some kind of relationship with most of them but it's frustrating when it's one-sided or on a superficial level. It feels fake to have to keep stuff "hidden". Most probably I'll keep stewing on this until I work out a suitable compromise -- because I don't think I could do cards without some kind of letter in it.
    Thank you for your response!

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    Just playing devils advocate, if the only contact you're having with these friends is one letter a year at Christmas time, then I'd question if they really are friends at all? Actual friends would already know you've had a tough year, & should have supported you through it? So personally I wouldn't bother.


    Of course family / relatives are a little bit different because you're not always going to be "friends" with all of your family, but still want contact with them - & if you want to update them you could always take the middle ground & say "after a few challenges this year with x,y&z, we're looking forward to focus on the happy & positive things we've got as we come into the festive season" -- not to gloss over your troubles, but at least then they know on a very basic level & can contact you individually to discuss it further?.

    Sorry you've had a tough year xx

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    kbf2plus2  (19-11-2014)

  16. #10
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    My dad writes christmas letters and I hate his! It seems to be all about bragging and he gets details wrong! I've been in one work place for 12 years and he still writes that I do something else!
    Anyway... I think letters are lovely providing they're not like the ones my dad writes!
    To decide if you should keep writing them maybe work out what your intention is for writing them. If it's to be reciprocated, I'd stop. If it's to let people know how you are and share your life, keep going.
    It would be nice if it were reciprocated but it still serves a purpose if it's not.
    If you're concerned that these people aren't quite as close as you had thought they were then keep it light or just a card even.

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