It's so tough when they're challenging you every step of the way.
I was there a few months ago. Baby wearing was a life saviour. I just had to be extra patient with the toddler, and tried to give the toddler a lot of attention. If you think about it, their life has just turned upside down and they need time to adjust (as much as we do).
I found it very helpful to teach my toddler to be quiet and to wait when I was getting the baby to sleep. It didn't take long for the toddler to learn that being quiet for a few minutes was good because I could then give him my full attention until the baby was awake again.
Getting out of the house is still a lot of work but totally worth it. I just plan short trips and I'm always in the frame of mind that things may go wrong and I need to be flexible.
A-Squared it sounds like you are having a tough time with your DD, I hope things are looking up today.
My DH is working all weekend, so I will be stuck with all 3 kids on my own for 4 days straight. Urgh. Not looking forward to it.
DS2 is all over the place today, I'm trying to stick to the routine but he really isn't cooperating!
And I've got so much housework to do, but lacking motivation.
Then as soon as we got in the car, the same tears and screaming entailed about every single little thing we spoke about, even when I told her big girls don't bite their nails while she was biting them. If I agreed with what she said she changed her mind and said the opposite and cried about it, if I disagreed or corrected her, she cried, if I ignored her completely she screamed mummy, mummy, mummy and cried. I was damned if I did, damned if I didn't.
I passed her back some food which she held out and dropped on the ground on purpose and said it was yucky. It was a rafters sachet, so not yucky. I pulled over, picked it up and gave it to her and she cried the entire time then dropped it again.
She started taking off her shoes and I said not to as I know she hates walking over the front door mat to get inside without shoes on, what does she do... Continue to take them off and throw them on the ground, then tried to get her socks off which wasn't fruitful so cried about it, then screamed because I said I wouldn't help her.
All of this in a 30 minute far ride - 30 minutes!!!!
It's been nearly 8 weeks now since DS was born, surely she should be starting to cope better by now. I understand what a hard transition it must be for her, but she's not getting any less jealous, nor is her behaviour improving at all. I'm just over it. I'm crying now about having to face a whole day with her tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to it at all. Life isn't meant to be so unenjoyable, I'm not meant to hate having my own daughter around, but I do.
Can you ask you parents to help out with the NB while you spend special time with her? It could be even going to the same place you are but minding the baby while you play with your daughter?
A lot of the things you described from the car ride sounded like typical toddler attention seeking behaviour. As you said she must be struggling to adapt. And at the same time is throwing some tantrums and having defiant behaviour which is age appropriate, regardless on having a new sibling. The nail biting could be anxiety but it could also be attention seeking, as she is getting a reaction from you.
Have you considered seeing a psychologist? They may also have good suggestions for how to better manage this transition for the whole family. Just another thought, the pediatrician might be a good idea too
I really feel for you. Sounds like she's really testing the boundaries with you and trying to get your attention. I can imagine how stressed out you must be.
While we were lucky not to have too much trouble with DD adjusting to DSs arrival, I have found that in the last week or two she has really settled into having him around. She's happy to let me feed him without having to be climbing all over me while I do it and has stopped following me every time I go to put DS in his cot. DS is 17wks now and I guess the novelty is slowly wearing off! Hopefully your DD will calm down for you as she gets used to having a sibling in the house.
I'm not sure where you live but places like Tresillian can help with behavior issues that come with a new sibling. Might be worth looking into.
I took the kids to the playground today and she was good most of the morning, whenever I wasn't feeding DS or putting him to sleep I went and played with her and she was being such a show off - mummy I'm up here! Mummy, watch me on the slide! She did appreciate the attention but I felt bad as she played by herself most of the time. I wanted to be with her the whole time, but that's just not practical now.
So a successful morning and she slept an hour and a half which is more than usual, but the only downside is that poor DSs face is burnt! I swore we were shaded the whole time but obviously not! my poor bubba, sunburn at 8 weeks old can't be good!
Ok Mummas where do you put your baby during the day? I want her (baby DD) in the same room as us but DS can tip over the bassinet. So I've currently got her in a portacot with her bouncer inside. DS is still chucking stuff in there and he also has the ability to tip the portacot (I swear I'm raising Hercules). I'm starting to fear that I will never be able to have her on the ground for tummy time etc! DS is 21 months.
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