You're a crack up.
You're a crack up.
@MGC Bertie you give me(and everyone else, I'm sure) hope. Congratulations!! I've been sitting on the sidelines quietly watching everyone's news. My first FET in 26 days. I've got 4 lovely frosties from my last cycle.
Sorry to hear the bad news from some of the girls @leyshoja, @Fudge09 and anyone else I have missed.
Christmas is always such a time of mixed emotions for me. Love all the little children in my life, and yearn for one of our own to enjoy all things Christmas with.
Things being especially hard this week for me. My best friend (who's like a sister to me, known my whole life, and I'm actually an only child) has told me she's pregnant. I'm so happy for her, yet every time I get off the phone from her, I cry as I'm so sad it's not me. She did one round of ivf this year, with neither of her 2 embies making it to transfer. However, they found she had a 'closed' cervix, so they did a little op to fix it. They were going to continue ivf in the new year, but after 1 period, she has fallen naturally.
I feel very mean with my feelings about it. I've gone dairy, gluten free. Done acupuncture, and all the ivf stuff you do, and she's still smoking ciggarettes(trying to give up) and been drinking and living life as you do.
Don't get me wrong, I'm truly happy for her. Just unhappy it's not me. She just takes for granted I will be pregnant next cycle & we'll be pregnant together & all will be fine and dandy. But for me, after a year full of good looking embies but BFNs, I've still got to have some perspective, or I'll be totally shattered next time.
Sorry for the whinge, maybe 1 too many christmas champagnes. (Thought since I wasn't cooking eggs, a couple of drinks wouldn't be too bad, then I'll detox for the next 4 weeks).
Hope all of you have had a day full of family, food and fun xxx
Sorry for the vent, but just needs to get those feelings off my chest.
Last edited by Petal40; 26-12-2014 at 10:39.
BlondeinBrisVegas....very sorry to hear about your friend's loss of baby at 17 weeks. That has just got to be dreadful to get that far along, and think everything will be fine.
Petal..... I sooooo feel for you, as I have been in your position for such a long time, that I had seriously come to terms with probably never getting pregnant. I'm glad I'm giving you hope, as I'm still sitting here shaking my head about it (yes, I know I still have a long way to go, and am freaking out about BT #3 this Saturday and whether or not there will be anything there). Good luck with your FET in a month. They do say that FETs have a better chance as your body has a more natural cycle, and certainly my IUI is living proof of that.
I so know how you feel with all those "jealous" feelings. I always felt really bad, and still do, when I would be like that, but I came to the realisation that it's OK for us ladies to feel like that. We have been through so much, drugs, endless appointments, financial, emotional and physical toil, that others will never understand, no matter how we explain it to them. Few other things in life even gives a glimpse of the strain that we've had (I'm thinking those with types of cancer and that's about it). I know it's hard to swallow but the only thing that has got me through these three years, is knowing, unfortunately, that I'm not the only one, and that there's other ladies like you who are in the exact same position. Hardly a consolation, I know, but Bubhub ladies have given me such real support, and hopefully you get something from us too.
On a totally side-note...... DH wants to know when it's safe to DTD again. I told him not until the baby is here and he'll have to make do with "treats"!! He's absolutely beside himself (lol!!). I'd read that you shouldn't go horse-riding and such, but I'm actually thinking that once the baby has latched on that nothing would really shake it loose???
@MGC Bertie, once they've thrown the anchor overboard, they're not going anywhere lol. It is a bit of a weird thought though bd'ing while the poor little thing is going about it's business in there. @Petal40, I know exactly how you feel. I have a workmate who's wife has just gotten UTD on their second cycle. I found out the good news on the day my doctor instructed me to go off the drugs to miscarry 'naturally'. On him hearing my news...'oh great, now we have to worry about those things happening to us'. I kid you not. WTF ?!?!? Let's just say I have resentment for several reasons.
This m/c has been going for 6 days now, extremely heavy and unmanageable except with a super duper gigantosaurus maxi pad plus super tampon at the SAME TIME and not even that is always enough - the tampon has 'washed' out quite a few times. It's only now starting to ease up slightly. I think I've got a fair way to go yet. This sucks.
Leyshoja.... I couldn't click "thanks" on your post above, even though "thanks" usually means I've read it and am thinking about you. It's unimaginable what you're going through at the moment. I'm just thinking you must just about be sitting on the toilet the whole time (and hadn't you gone away for a few days?) You poor thing. Hopefully it will be over soon, and you can move forward.
AFM.... third BT results are in, with Hcg level of 2300 (23dpo). My FS rang himself again with the results, and said it is "bang on where it should be." I'd already done the maths though, and thought if it was doubling from my 2nd BT then it should have been about 4500, so though I am quietly happy that I am still pregnant, I'm still guarded. Well, I've promised myself now that once a week BTs will be fine, so let's see how I go making it through the next week!!
i normally just read along with this thread but can't contain myself - congratulations @McG Bertie I am so happy for you - as a single over 40 I would love the opportunity to add IUI into the mix but my clinic won't do it. but I'm thrilled to hear it is the golden ticket for you!
Everyone else - fingers crossed that 2015 is one of joy! This caper is a heart wrenching one and on the countdown to 45 I'm reaching the end of my road but I am so grateful for everyone who shares their stories - good and bad. It gives me the courage to try again each time.
Last edited by Jem70; 27-12-2014 at 16:58.
Congratulations that it's all going textbook !!
@leyshoja I hope it all starts easing up for you soon. What a crappy christmas for you
@Petal40 I completely understand where you're coming from. The resentment and jealousy are really hard to deal with. I was on the verge of seeing a counselor about my feelings before I had my successful cycle. Losing good friends from anger and withdrawal was a huge fear of mine on top of everything else. People who fall easily have no idea......
Last edited by Bongley; 28-12-2014 at 07:41.
Yep. TTC really is the pits. You just can't get away from babies and pregnant women. My sister in law fell pregnant on the same month we started our TTC journey. She was 40, had previously terminated an unwanted pregnancy and wasn't too excited about this one. Geez. Since then we have had 2 close friends get pregnant and a colleague of DH off handedly said to me a few weeks back that he was sorry we couldn't have kids. I said nothing to that. This guy likes to say things just to see you react (he's an a'hole). If we do get pregnant I will have great pleasure in telling him! I am lucky though that I have some understanding friends. One who was TTC for 10 years before getting pregnant. Another who was trying for a second before finding she had a non existent amh. Knowing them and everyone here has helped me enormously.
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@leyshoja I hope things get better for you soon, and you get to enjoy your holiday a little.
And thanks everyone for all the stories, it's nice not to feel like you're the only one on such a long and hard journey. I feel like it's a great place here, with everyone supporting each other, and knowing that we are all going through similar things.
My last pill tomorrow, then I start my progynova & patches on the 3rd. FET is just around the corner now!
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