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  1. #1
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    Default Help 7yr old girls behaviour!

    Please help, I'm looking for any useful websites or pages to visit to do some reading! I'm struggling with my 7year old and I'm feeling really down and like a bad mum about it! She continuosly tells me that I don't love her and yells and screams at me continuosly if she wants something she screams and screams and lately she has started to kick the walls, tip furniture over, swipe paper work off the bench, rip up her little brothers artwork! I will admit I have smacked her but I've realised it has not helped and has just made me feel terrible, I've been trying as hard as I can to ignore , but it is emotionally and mentally draining to have to verbally fight with her to do anything when she doesn't want to do it she screams like no tomorrow! I'm starting to feel a little embarrased to be seen in my neighbourhood for fear of what they think! I don't know what to do

  2. #2
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    It's so hard as she is so angry in these moments

  3. #3
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    Has she always been like this or is it new behaviour? Has anything happened or has something changed in her life (new baby, marriage break down, moved house etc)?
    What is her sleep like? And her diet?
    Sorry for all the questions but just thinking of when my kids have behaved similarly and it's been diet, sleep and circumstance related.
    Do you have a GP or school psych you can talk too? It sounds very frustrating and totally exhausting

  4. #4
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    She has always been a very stubborn kids, but not angry and what I would call very disruptive like this, she will scream at me for hours! I just don't know what to do, and I feel terrible for ignoring her but I don't know how to help her

  5. #5
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    DP's brother who was 9 at the time had a lot of anger issues. When she went searching she found this book that was highly recommended. It's called "A volcano in my tummy". It helps both children and adults alike understand why children get angry, and how children and adults can deal with it.

    There's a link to buy it on Amazon: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Volcano-My-T.../dp/0865713499

    I really hope that you can find what you're looking for to help both yourself and your daughter. Sometimes it's hard because you're both just so frustrated. I guess the only advice I would have is always model appropriate and calm ways to deal with your anger so that she see's how she should be acting. Make sure that you're open to her communicating her anger in appropriate ways and always reinforce good behaviour by compliments and encouragement.

    If she gets angry, don't react by getting angry or frustrated either and always make sure that you're not punishing her for being angry but there are consequences to behaving badly and wrecking the place.

    Good luck OP. Hopefully some of my advice is helpful. I hope you and DD can work through this.

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    Thankyou

  7. #7
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    I had a few problems similar with 2 of my children. I was at my wits end and had had enough. After countless visits to the GP, which didn't help, I took them both to a Kinesiologist (Holistic Health Practitioner that works with the body and what it needs) I found out that they needed extra nutrients to enable a happy body (Was very skeptical at first, but thought it was worth a shot)
    Had to buy them both Flaxseed tablets. That was about 2 years ago, and after both taking the tablets for a month straight, noticed a huge and amazing difference. No more crazy tantrums or nasty words towards me, no more hitting and screaming etc I don't know how or why this worked, but it did and I am very thankful for it. All it took was a $50 consultation fee each and a $2o bottle of Flaxseed tablets. Good luck and I hope this may help you

  8. #8
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    How at the time did you deal with the outburst towards you I need ways to deal with it without losing my cool

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    After trying to talk them down and being calm didn't work...I then got really angry at them...and that didn't work. Then I found that the best thing was to ignore them when they were acting like that. I would put them in there room and make sure they didn't come out(sometimes by holding the door handle so they couldn't open the door, sounds terrible, but I had to) I would calmly tell them that that behaviour was not ok in my house and if they didn't start to act like nice people, then they were not allowed to come out... And that when they were ready to start treating me nicely, I would let them out. Sometimes they would kick and scream for ages....which is hard for any parent to hear...but you have to be persistant and not give in. Only when they would calm down I would let them out. Sometimes they would be straight back to their room within 5 mins...but I just kept up with it. The more I stuck to that, the more they realised that Mummy wasn't going to back down.
    Allow yourself to trust your instincts and also allow yourself to ignore her when she is treating you like that. You are not being a bad mum when using tough love.
    I know it seems like life is crap and having kids isn't supposed to be like this...but hang in there my friend....there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

  10. #10
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    Thank you, we do try this but she will kick the walls and the window, did this happen in your case also, if so then I know I can get through it by continuing to place her in her room and ignore, could mean I'm potentially standing at her door for 1 hr listening to her scream though


 

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