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  1. #1
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    Default Want to have number 2, but I don't know if I can cope!

    I think I want another child. I don't know why, but I kind of feel like I'm missing out if I don't, if that makes sense. Plus I loved being pregnant! But after my nearly 3yo DD1 I don't know if I can cope with another active child like her! Hubby has the same thoughts as well.

    Our DD is smart, manipulative, independent & an extremely demanding child! She drives us nuts. Plus we don't have much family near us so the only time I get a break from her is when I'm at work ( 3 days a week) or if I can sneak out to groceries/shops on the weekend, or bed time. It's full on & I'm not afraid to say we struggle a lot of the time.

    How do other mum's do it?!

    Did you have the same thoughts with number 2?

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    My dd was always on the go and I also thought no way do I want another one!! When dd was 4 1/2yrs we welcomed ds into our family and I have to say I love the age gap!!
    Dd is in kindy 5 days/ fortnight so I get one on one time with ds before she starts school next year.
    I would have gone insane if I had a smaller age gap but the 4yr gap has made things alot easier

    Sent from my GT-I9195T using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    My DS is 2.5 and I'm thinking, do I, could I, deal with, number two?

    I'm older. Don't know if number two would/could happen! Happy that DS did, but would lovelovelove a DD!

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    My ds was/is a very active toddler/little boy. He is go go go basically 24/7 and rarely sleeps. We waited until he was in school to have a second and I LOVE the age gap. Dd was born a month after ds started full time school, ds was 4.5 at the time. I have found having a second has barely made a blip on my radar. It is so far from stressful. She also doesn't sleep much but I think I am used to that now. Maybe wait until you have more time on your hands when your little one starts school?

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    I was worried about coping with a second baby but for different reasons - I had PND first time around and really struggled to get through the first 3-6 months. DD was 10months when we started TTC but DS didn't arrive until DD was just about to turn 3. I won't lie, it is definitely tough but it's not as bad as I thought it would be. I have struggled a bit with PND again but not as badly, and DS is a much easier baby than DD was.

    Remember that pregnancy is long and 9 months can make a huge difference at your DDs age. They change so much so quickly and you might find that in 6 months time she's a lot easier to manage.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Barnaby View Post
    Maybe wait until you have more time on your hands when your little one starts school?
    I have thought about that, but I'm 34 now. If I waited until school then I'd be approaching 37. Provided we conceived ok. So I feel like time is ticking iykwim. I don't want to be too old with kids still hanging around!

  7. #7
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    I am in exactly the same position as you! I'm 33 now and DS is only 18 months, he's very full on and drives us crazy! Of course we absolutely adore him, but he exhausts us, so I worry that having a second child would tip us over the edge. But, we really do want a second child and my biological is ticking very loudly
    The way I see it though is that the first year will be really tough, but once they're old enough to play together at least they can keep each other entertained. DS's biggest issue atm is that he wants to play with us all day and tantrums when we can't. Hopefully a sibling will help with that......hopefully!

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    My DD sounds a lot like your DD, and I found the first year once we had DS the hardest. This was because I was so sleep deprived as DS wasn't a good sleeper. Once DS started sleeping more life got a lot easier. He is not nearly as demanding as DD. Although that first year was hard, it's just a nip in time, it was over before I knew it. Now I'm about to have a third baby. I'm not sure I'll be able to cope with three, but I figure - short term pain for long term gain! I might be tired, stressed and stretched to capacity for those first few years, but hopefully once they are all at kindy and school life will become a little easier. Still busy of course but not as unrelenting

  9. #9
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    I have a 3 year old DD just like yours. Baby number 2 is seriously a breeze sometimes we forget she's there. DD1 is the hard one. In the first few weeks I thought wow how the H am I going to do this. 2 was hard but now DD2 is 4 months it's so easy. I'm use to it now. The toddler of course drives me nuts everyday but it's not as bad as I thought 2 would be.

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    There is almost three years between my two. My eldest is very hard work, clingy, naughty, needy, emotional. I will not lie the first 6 months were tough ds loved his baby sister but pretty much didn't like dh and I much. If anything though it has done him a world of good and the bond they share is the best thing in the world. He is still all of the above now at 4.5 years but I have no regrets. Dd is 20 months and completely different and they sort of balance each other.


 

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