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  1. #141
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    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    Hmm catholics in power downplaying sexual assault... Why am i not surprised. Dont back down xx

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    I've been reading along hoping the school would act appropriately but they haven't.

    Even IF he simply back handed her they have still gone about this in a completely inappropriate way.

    - You specifically asked to be present and they ignored your request.
    - Both children should NOT have been present at the time. This isn't a case of one pushing the other in the playground.
    - Given the nature of what happened, I don't think they should have been asked to show them what happened.

    I would probably speak to the local police station in person. There is a specific division for this sort of thing if it needs to be referred to that area. If they don't follow it through I would still be putting in a formal complaint to the catholic education dept or the equivalent.

    You mentioned that the child's mother is involved in the school. I wonder if this is affecting the way they have handled things.

    I don't think I would be sending her back unless she was really keen to go back. I'm glad you are already leaving the school but I wonder how many times they have done this before...

    Hugs to you and your daughter.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lil miss View Post
    In regards to contacting the police, do I just call my local station or is there a specific number/department? Or go in and speak face to face at the local station?
    If you would like to contact bravehearts, they can step you through the process

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    Quote Originally Posted by MamaNurture View Post
    If you would like to contact bravehearts, they can step you through the process
    Yeah I think that may be a good starting point.

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    I just want to say a massive thank you to each of you for the support, advice and kind words. I was really doubting myself and how to handle this whole thing, whether I was doing the right thing.... so thank you.

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  10. #146
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    What the actual eff?!! I have no words! This has been so appallingly handled that I am surprised they are all still employed. I feel so bad for your poor DD. I would not send her back there. Take her to a book shop and buy her some workbooks if she is upset about missing out on learning for a couple of weeks and play school at home.

  11. #147
    BH-KatiesMum's Avatar
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    I dont know about going to the police. I worry that that is escalating the situation for your daughter ...

    I certainly would be

    - keeping her home from school for a little bit at least
    - requesting and urgent face to face meeting with the principal, and failing that with the school board and Catholic Education Office
    - if your school has a social worker, make an appointment with her/him to explain what happened and talk about what you and the school can each do - and have them talk to the class room teacher
    - write a letter of complaint to both the school principal and the Catholic Education Office - perhaps cc'ing your local member of parliament - about the way this incident has been handled. Outline your issues with the incident itself, the way the school have dealt with it (having both children present etc), how your wish to be present was ignored and the lack of communication regarding this.

    Explain very carefully to your daughter that you DO believe her. That the reason you are taking this action is because you do believe her and you believe that the school has not done enough to take action over something that is not ok. Dont escalate the incident into something that its not ... but perhaps an analogy with bullying is something she might understand ... say when she was being bullied that the school and teachers did something about it ... and that you want them to do something about this too.


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    Quote Originally Posted by lil miss View Post
    I just want to say a massive thank you to each of you for the support, advice and kind words. I was really doubting myself and how to handle this whole thing, whether I was doing the right thing.... so thank you.
    Don't doubt yourself. I would be terribly worried, upset and furious in your position, as would most people. As other posters said, stay calm but don't back down. Hopefully the Braveheart organisation can help with both counselling/support and also helping you make a complaint through the most effective channel.

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    Lil miss I've been following your situation from the start. As a social worker/team leader working in child protection I can offer some advice about the usual process for matters like these. Police are only likely to get involved if they believe an offence has been committed and where there is criminality. I'm not sure if it varies by state, but the age of criminality is 10 in WA. For this reason, I don't believe police would be interested but they may refer to child protection.

    Based on the information available, inconsistent stories and the fact that the kids have already been spoken to by the school, I don't believe child protection would get involved either. Different states may have different thresholds for getting involved. To clarify, the role of child protection is to assess whether children have been harmed or are at risk of being harmed and where there is a question about the parent's ability to protect them from that harm. This means they don't have a role with you and DD as they will see you as a protective parent. It is likely that they will not have sufficient concern to get involved with the boy. Unfortunately the school has already spoken to him and repeated interviewing of a child minimizes credibility.

    I suggest that given you believe your DD's story and you continue to be worried, you focus on supporting her with someone like the school social worker. In my opinion it's premature to consider counselling as the situation remains unresolved with school and there's not enough info to suggest your DD won't settle down and forget about this soon. Kids are resilient but she may be sensing your anxiety and feeling worried that something happened which led to lots of questions and a meeting with the principal. These issues are more likely to be having an impact on her than the inappropriate touching itself because although she may have felt uncomfortable, she's too young to have the emotional intelligence or understanding of what being touched means for her. This may change with her developmental level so her emotional needs to manage and understand it may also change.

    I hope this is helpful. I can only imagine how hard it is for a parent to deal with these issues and feel powerless against schools, police etc. While taking on the school may help you manage and regain a sense of control over this situation, your DD's safety and emotional wellbeing at school should be prioritised so I hope they will at least speak with you about how they will prevent this in the future.

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  15. #150
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    Quote Originally Posted by PrincesSmelanie View Post
    Lil miss I've been following your situation from the start. As a social worker/team leader working in child protection I can offer some advice about the usual process for matters like these. Police are only likely to get involved if they believe an offence has been committed and where there is criminality. I'm not sure if it varies by state, but the age of criminality is 10 in WA. For this reason, I don't believe police would be interested but they may refer to child protection.

    Based on the information available, inconsistent stories and the fact that the kids have already been spoken to by the school, I don't believe child protection would get involved either. Different states may have different thresholds for getting involved. To clarify, the role of child protection is to assess whether children have been harmed or are at risk of being harmed and where there is a question about the parent's ability to protect them from that harm. This means they don't have a role with you and DD as they will see you as a protective parent. It is likely that they will not have sufficient concern to get involved with the boy. Unfortunately the school has already spoken to him and repeated interviewing of a child minimizes credibility.

    I suggest that given you believe your DD's story and you continue to be worried, you focus on supporting her with someone like the school social worker. In my opinion it's premature to consider counselling as the situation remains unresolved with school and there's not enough info to suggest your DD won't settle down and forget about this soon. Kids are resilient but she may be sensing your anxiety and feeling worried that something happened which led to lots of questions and a meeting with the principal. These issues are more likely to be having an impact on her than the inappropriate touching itself because although she may have felt uncomfortable, she's too young to have the emotional intelligence or understanding of what being touched means for her. This may change with her developmental level so her emotional needs to manage and understand it may also change.

    I hope this is helpful. I can only imagine how hard it is for a parent to deal with these issues and feel powerless against schools, police etc. While taking on the school may help you manage and regain a sense of control over this situation, your DD's safety and emotional wellbeing at school should be prioritised so I hope they will at least speak with you about how they will prevent this in the future.
    Thank you for your input, I really appreciate it. She was the one who raised the issue of how she felt- uncomfortable, embarrassed and upset- before I even notified the school. She knows that its wrong to touch those areas and knowing her, I have to disagree that she doesnt have the emotional intelligence or understanding of what it means.

    As for the school, from our conversation today they have done all they are willing to do. They will talk to the boy again and notify his parents and thats it. Sorry but thats bull****. They aren't even taking simple measures to protect dd and in no way have respected my requests. Its not just about the incident itself but the lack of cooperation at the very start.

    The school social worker is as useless as tits on a bull. I have dealt with her in the passed and she has proven herself untrustworthy and quite frankly a twit. Which is why im going outside the school.


 

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