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  1. #121
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    I'm so happy to hear you've had some progress. Hopefully it's dealt with appropriately from here on.

    bear in mind, the PA has said he is aware of the situation but the principal will only know what his people have told him. Not necessarily your view (depending on what you conveyed to the PA) so make sure you get your time with the principal. So he understands the emotional impact this had had.

    Youve dealt with this situation really well so far. Hope your DD is doing okay.
    Last edited by CandE; 13-11-2014 at 11:26.

  2. #122
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    Your poor daughter.

    Seeing a GP for counselling is an excellent idea. Can I also suggest Bravehearts as they have a counselling service for kids who have been sexually assaulted. They will be an excellent service for both of you - they also give great support when dealing with police etc. It's 1800 BRAVE 1. I really hope you can call.

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    Deputy principal rang. Her version was totally different to dd1. According to her the boy was asked first what he did, he said he backhanded dd1 on the butt and then dd1 was asked if that was true and she said yes. Because there is no proof and its dd1s word against the boys they will not be giving the boy any consequences. I said thats not what dd1 told me happened and that she has been quite distressed since and I was less than impressed that 1) my request to be present was ignored and 2) that they had both kids in together. She said its not their policy to have parents in and as for dd1 being distressed, she said dd1 had been fine at school. Ok, Im not there so she may very well be, but away from school she is not ok. Then she told me the teacher has been keeping an eye on the two of them.... they havent been separated (he sits directly in front of dd1). She said the best she can do is speak to the boy again and see if his story changes and also speak to his parents but stressed because its dd1s word against the boys, they cannot give the boy any consequences other than a warning.

    I called dd1 in and just asked her to tell me what happened again. Her version has not changed. They were sitting down, he stuck his finger there and called her sexy. I asked what happened when they were spoken to. She said they both told the teacher that he stuck his finger there. I asked who else spoke to them other than the teacher and she said only the teacher spoke to her. She got very upset and asked why I didnt believe her she didnt know what I had been told from the Deputy principal.

  4. #124
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    Is it possible he teacher used terminology ("backhanded") that your dd and the boy didn't understand? That they agreed to it because they thought it actually meant what occurred?

    Your poor Dd. This is dragging on too long and is upsetting your daughter. I would bypass the school altogether and are your GP about counselling for your daughter. If they think it's appropriate to bring in a trained professional then follow their lead. I also wouldn't make dd go back to the school, especially without counsellIng and with eg boy sitting in front of her. I would tell the school you're not sending your daughter back because of the boy incident and you someone will be in touch regarding the incident. Then use whatever you can from the GP/counsellor when lodging an official complaint.

    If course this is just my two cents and I don't know your dd or all the facts. Do what you feel is best.

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  6. #125
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    After reading the update I still think some advice from the police would be beneficial. The school is not taking it seriously. Maybe the police might.

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  8. #126
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    Im not sure that i understand ... surely not.

    The school is honestly saying that because the boy didn't actually come out and confess ... that they cant do anything?

    that because your daughter didnt want to speak out in front of the principal, the teacher and the boy himself ... that they arent going to believe her. Over an incident that they know SOMETHING happened ... and they know the parent of the girl involved was INCREDIBLY unhappy about so was definitely more than just a 'backhander on the bottom'

    They cant be serious?

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  10. #127
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    Possibly VP, although both the Deputy and dd1 both said they were asked to show what happened so I really dont know.

    I told dh (he is away), and he is furious. I said I am seriously considering keeping her home unless she says she wants to go.

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    @lil miss the deputy is totally out of line! You NEVER ask a child of sexual assault to "show/recreate" you what occured - she is obviously ill informed and not qualified to undertake any sort of forensic interview with a child - that is a job for the police. I would be beyond livid and taking it further. Sorry your dd had to experience such obvious adult incompetence after an already traumatic event.

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  13. #129
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    Quote Originally Posted by BH-KatiesMum View Post
    Im not sure that i understand ... surely not.

    The school is honestly saying that because the boy didn't actually come out and confess ... that they cant do anything?

    that because your daughter didnt want to speak out in front of the principal, the teacher and the boy himself ... that they arent going to believe her. Over an incident that they know SOMETHING happened ... and they know the parent of the girl involved was INCREDIBLY unhappy about so was definitely more than just a 'backhander on the bottom'

    They cant be serious?
    Yep. That's exactly it.

    This was another reason I wanted to be there- at least then I would know exactly what happened when the teacher/APRE spoke to dd about it.

    I don't know about school policies. But I told the teacher originally EXACTLY what dd1 had told me, so they went into this knowing that dd1 has said it was more than a backhand on the bum. Surely that in itself is enough to talk to them separately AND have me there when they spoke to dd1. Its not like that information came out when they had them there together.

    I will be going to the police tomorrow for advice. In all honesty I think they will tell me what the school said- no proof apart from her word against his so nothing can be done. But its worth a shot, hopefully they can at least offer advice in regards what steps can be taken next (if any).
    Last edited by SheWarrior; 13-11-2014 at 16:59.

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    Call. The. Police.

    You have done everything you can with the school and they have made it so much worse. You are your daughters advocate and you need to take this further now.

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