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  1. #191
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    @Penny75 I'm so happy for you! I think it's not uncommon as we get a little older to have so called empty follicles - one theory is that the body doesn't want to release eggs unless they are good possibilities. I hope that is the case for you and that you have four front runners raring to go. How are you feeling about going to transfer? @Nereid sending positive vibes! I never get cramps either way so I'm not much help but remember that you don't normally get pregnancy symptoms until 6 or more weeks - I'm not going to try and get your hopes up but I truly hope this might be your time!

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  3. #192
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    @Jem70 thanks, I haven't heard that theory before but it makes sense. Here's hoping! I am feeling really good about going to transfer and am booked in for Wednesday. My FS has recommended a double transfer, so that's what I'll do if I have two embies by then

  4. #193
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    Nereid - my second pregnancy I had lots of cramping for days and big boobs (miscarried around 8 weeks) ... With this pregnancy no cramping, normal boobs and i had bleeding (not spotting - bleeding!) until about 9 weeks, didn't feel preggers at all. So it ain't over till the pee stick sings!! Good luck x


    Sent from my iPhone using The Bub Hub mobile app

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  6. #194
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    Stop getting my hopes up, ladies! But you're right of course

    My FS told me some of my transfers have been difficult because of the shape of my cervix, a surprise to me but in an odd way gave me a boost in confidence as it means failures may not necessarily have been down to the quality of the embies themselves.

    @Penny75 I think 4 is a great number, 2 doubles, lots of hope there! They grow well. It's such a strange and wonderful and hopeful thing having your first transfer, and I imagine it would be even more so without having a long track record of trying and failing naturally behind you. I remember I had to fight the urge to tell everyone I met about that first one

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  8. #195
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    Hey girls,

    Apologies for the MIA - I've been off processing recent events and trying to work out what the hell to do next. Travelling well though and just grateful for all the amazing people around me and for my sweet little life. Just at Sydney airport enjoying a red whilst I wait to head home after a long weekend in the blue mountains staying with one of my old friends.

    Firstly - so hoping things swing your way @Nereid and we have some good news on this thread.. What date is BT again, soon I know. Hang in there lovely.
    @Vixjc - hope you're feeling a little better hun and jeepers, it's just around the corner, that happened so fast!! Cannot wait to hear that you've got your precious bubs in arms.
    @Penny75 - great little result for you first cycle, 4 out of 5 is totally fab! Enjoy transfer next week - as @Nereid says, that first transfer is so magical and mysterious and hopeful.
    @Jem70, hope NYC is looking after you and you're not freezing your proverbials off!!
    @missybear - really awesome hearing your cheery wee voice!!

    AFM: still in a quandary trying to work out how to go forward. Half of me wants to have another crack at Melb this month (haven't heard from FS and haven't followed her up yet). I know I could follow her up and start if I wanted, but the other half of me wants to get back and date and have a little fun. I'm tired of being alone.

    I've also had a shift in the old grey matter of late.. and have started contemplating egg donor/embryo donation. I'm going through some of the early thoughts and concerns that I'm sure our other egg donor mums have been through - pretty much moving on from things like the baby won't look like me or have my eye colour and personality traits etc

    I've been reading up on mums that have had babies this way because I want to know how they feel about the child during the preg and once it's born and I hope I'm not out of line here, but wondering if I could have some input from our donor mums that read along - @emski72 and @Vixjc spring to mind. I hate to say this but it has to be a reality for women going down this path - will I love the child as much as if it were my bio child and will it feel like my child. All and any thoughts welcome.

    Hugs xx

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  10. #196
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    @Kelly70 lovely to hear from you and glad you're doing so well all things considered, a Blue Mountains weekend sounds perfect. I don't have any experience of DE or donor embies, but I did follow a lovely blog by a woman who battled infertility for 4 yrs and is now pregnant with a donated embryo. She writes eloquently and compassionately about the process of adjusting to the idea of donated dna. http://www.dontcountyoureggs.typepad.com/ x
    Last edited by Nereid; 07-12-2014 at 18:23.

  11. #197
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    Hi Kel and all the other lovelies out there , best of luck to those cycling. There are some great numbers of eggies and embryo action too. I'm a bit in awe of you all as I've only ever had one egg maximum each cycle and let's forget the empties.... The UTDers and about to become mummies - how amazing and wonderful for you, wishing you the best of luck to be holding that little sweetie in ur arms soon.
    AFM have been to see FS and doing one more next year.., If that doesn't work I'll be on my way OS to DE. It's not been a tricky decision to make after 4 failures - but a girl's gotta get on with it!
    Baby dust to one and all x

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  13. #198
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    Sounds like we are at the same fork in the road @Biscotti71 xx

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  15. #199
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    I'll chip in my 2 cents re donor eggs I made the decision to move on to DE relatively easily, when I was doing my 6th cycle I knew if I couldn't get to EPU, DE would be our next step because the reality was that notwithstanding my healthy amh, ivf meds were never going to work for me and Dr L had already rased it, so when I didn't get to EPU I was devastated but had moved on to planning my DE cycle pretty quick. In fact it was a huge relief to have the pressure off me to produce eggs. I took some comfort from the fact DH was still contributing to the process, and even got comfort from the fact that our child would not inherit some of my less favourable characteristics. I was initially quite open with others about what we were doing but then really struggled with people's lack of respect for the privacy of that info as well as some of their responses, the most common being 'it won't matter at all, it's just the same' - no it effin isn't! Awesome yes, the same? Hell no! Even my DH doesn't really seem to have processed the effect on me- bless him, he's so calm

    throughout the pregnancy I have felt different things, I've had moments where I'm terrified that I'll struggle that its de and not mine, I worry about teenage tantrums and 'You're not my mum' type comments, I feel sad that I'll never look at my child and think 'you got THAT from me!' - although that's more about grieving the loss of having an OE child rather than being about the DE child. But most of all I'm so grateful to be here - 37 weeks UTD. This baby will never doubt how much he/she was wanted and is loved. We hope to raise him or her to not struggle too much with not knowing 50% of his/her genetic history. I see it largely in the same way as adoption, I just adopted REALLY early .

    My advice - pick an OS clinic that you feel comfortable with, not just what your FS pushes you towards. Clinics have very different approaches to their donors, to the treatment, and the laws of each country can be quite different in terms of anonymity of the donor. Happy to answer any specific questions xx

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  17. #200
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    Hi @Kelly70,

    Interesting question, I had Edie almost 4 weeks ago now so all the emotions are still pretty new and fresh for me.

    Honestly the whole way through I have felt that DE was the best option for us - after 6 rounds of OE IVF with varying degrees of failure (success?) I was ready to move on. In fact I was ready to move on after 3 rounds but DH was not.

    I'm a bit of a realist, and this is not to deter anyone in here from chasing their OE dream, but I just couldn't keep doing it, to myself, my husband and our life. Our miscarriage last Nov was the last straw for me and I needed to move on to DE and to have some positivity and favorable odds back in my life. I also needed a good holiday so we went to Cape Town with the idea it was as much a wonderful holiday as the chance to finally have a baby. And we loved every minute of it. Most importantly, we went with the expectation that it may not work the first time, we hoped like crazy that it would, but also knew using a donor is not the silver bullet that some people make it out to be.

    I did blog about my whole experience so far - I'm not allowed to link here but if you google donoreggjourney it should show up. I haven't written my birth story or the emotions I've encountered so far yet, but I'll try to explain it here.

    All through my pregnancy in the back of my mind I wondered a lot of things, what this baby would look like, would I bond with her and would it be as strong as if she is my OE baby? Would she know I was her mother? Probably all the things you are questioning now.

    Once she was born and put on my chest for a couple of minutes - I just looked at this strange little creature and cried. She is the accumulation of all my dreams, wants, love, tenacity, resilience. She is the most wanted baby, I see in her my lost baby and I feel an absolute knowing that we were meant to be in each other's lives. I don't grieve that she's not genetically linked to me, I celebrate she is in my life and I have the opportunity to be her mother. Every day I just look at her in awe and I tell her how much we love and wanted her and I still cry when I say these words to her. I see my husband being an even better father than I imagined he would be and that just makes me so happy.

    Sure, in the first few days I had the normal hormonal drop that every woman has with having a baby and I questioned if I could be a good mother, could I handle this? Have I made a mistake? Am I too old and all of those questions but now that has all settled and I'm left with this little person in my life who I will be eternally thankful for and I know I have made the right decision for us. So much so that we are already planning our return trip for her sibling.

    You have to be comfortable with the decision to move on to donor eggs, see a counsellor at your IVF clinic and talk it through. There are different emotions you go through but I didn't find them confronting, they are what they are.

    Em x

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