DD1 is 9 and has a good friend who has much older siblings. this girl is really lovely in so many ways but her big sister is extremely wild and DD1's friend is exposed to stuff DD1 doesn't have a clue about. Nothing too awful, just bad language and ideas about things that are a bit beyond her. Hard to explain, but nothing like smoking or anything like that. She knows swearing is not on in our house (although I'm no saint) but I'm a realist and know she'll hear it lots of different places.
Anyhow my question is how do parents help their kids say no to bad choices? She has a very sensible head on her shoulders and knows there are lots of things her dad and I don't want her to do , but she squarely asked me tonight, how do I say no without looking stupid?
I remember my parents telling me not to be a sheep, and that if I stood up for myself everything would be ok, but in the thick of it basically that was cr@p advice as I didn't want my friends to stop liking me.
So to those with older kids, what do you actually say to your children? Has anything worked for you? I appreciate it comes down to the personality of the kids but this is on my mind and I want to make sure I give her the best skills to negotiate these issues.