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  1. #1
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    Default What helps you cope? Trying to stay sane here...

    Hello all,

    I am new to this forum but what I have read so far makes me want to join this wonderful support.

    I have had 4 failed IVFs in the past. I have endometriosis and don't really get any concrete answers from my doctor on why my IVF treatments have not been successful. He tells me to stay optimistic and I have to confess that I am having a difficult time being optimistic.

    I feel like I need to have some sense of control in this rollercoaster. What have you all found to be helpful to keep your sanity?

    I have been looking at this app.. https://play.google.com/store/apps/d...hing.app&hl=enbut haven't decided if I want to buy it yet. Have any of you found it helpful? Or something else really helpful you can share with me?

    I have also been reading the book Conquering Infertility by Alice Domar, Ph.D and it has been very helpful. But I need more.

    Thanks, Amy

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to AmyLondon For This Useful Post:

    Happyma  (20-11-2014)

  3. #2
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    Hi Amy, I try and cope by keeping myself busy with my hobbies!! Filling my time with fun things! Hope ur feeling ok!

  4. #3
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    You must get on with life and let IVF happen in the background. I have been on the rollercoaster for 6 years. I have my DS and now 9w with number 2.

    Always have a plan a b and c and always work through the worst case scenarios in the back of your mind. This was our last cycle for #2. Embryo 12 and 13. I had written it off and just wanted our journey over so I could enjoy Christmas and my new Ivf free life.

    Good luck. It's so emotionally draining and only the toughest of the tough keep going till they get what the want. The even tougher know when to walk away. Xx

  5. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to lilypily For This Useful Post:

    Happyma  (20-11-2014),Ladydee  (19-11-2014)

  6. #4
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    Hi Amy,

    I second what Lilypily has said.

    In in my first year of IVF I focused my life around cycles.
    Second year changed attitude, focus and joined here. My mantra become how long it takes it takes.

    I've nearly at the end of plan A
    Plan B nearly ready to go
    Plan C applications made

    This journey for me and DH is the toughest we have ever been on. No end yet in sight.
    I keep reminding myself each day, what I have. Not what I don't.

    I don't look to far into the future, just take it one day at a time. Fill your time with things that make you happy.

  7. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to francesthecat For This Useful Post:

    Happyma  (20-11-2014),lilypily  (20-11-2014)

  8. #5
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    Yoga really helped me. To de stress, fall asleep, and trust that my body is good at something.

    Hope. Hope that we would eventually get there.

    It worked, we now have a four month old little girl after 10 cycles.

    Having to go through it is very hard. All the best to you and your DH.

  9. #6
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    What I found worked for me while dh and are were doing ivf was volunteering with under privileged kids and families. It kept me busy and distracted. I loved it. I did however have to give it up once I fell pregnant as I was quite sick over the 9 months.
    Good luck on your ivf journey and sending you lots of baby dust x

  10. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by AmyLondon View Post
    Hello all,

    I am new to this forum but what I have read so far makes me want to join this wonderful support.

    I have had 4 failed IVFs in the past. I have endometriosis and don't really get any concrete answers from my doctor on why my IVF treatments have not been successful. He tells me to stay optimistic and I have to confess that I am having a difficult time being optimistic.

    I feel like I need to have some sense of control in this rollercoaster. What have you all found to be helpful to keep your sanity?

    I have been looking at this app.. https://play.google.com/store/apps/d...hing.app&hl=enbut haven't decided if I want to buy it yet. Have any of you found it helpful? Or something else really helpful you can share with me?

    I have also been reading the book Conquering Infertility by Alice Domar, Ph.D and it has been very helpful. But I need more.

    Thanks, Amy
    @AmyLondon Just to let you know I find it really hard too and I am absolutely terrible at distracting myself. Being at work is really tough while the IVF rollercoaster is throwing me around. Have you seen a counselor? They might have some good coping techniques. My 3rd and then 4th round was really, really horrible from what I remember (when I thought it was a BFN, turned out to be a BFP).

    Good luck

  11. #8
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    @AmyLondon oh one thing that did help was changing clinics. I changed to a cheaper clinic which helped my stress a lot but you might want to get a second opinion on how to tackle your issues.

  12. #9
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    Hi Amy, you're not alone. I really struggled with the "lack of control" part of it too. I'm a very independent person and it was an adjustment to lose control.

    One thing that helped me was not to fight it if that makes sense. I found the more I wanted and tried to feel in control the more miserable id get. I did a lot of reading about letting go and not resisting. Just generic stuff, not IVF books. A lot was just random articles online blogs etc.

    I still get caught up with different things from time to time and I have to remind myself that the way it is now is ok and I'm at peace with it. Easier said then done some days, but it does provide me comfort.

    Sending you sooooo many baby vibes it's ridiculous xxx

  13. The Following User Says Thank You to Happyma For This Useful Post:

    bella25  (20-01-2015)


 

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