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  1. #101
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    Quote Originally Posted by Naboo View Post
    No doubt your DH is 100% wrong... But.. What kind of 45 year old slapper of 2 kids would be shagging some 26 year old while texting to meet a married father with a baby due any day now

    'Oh no.. So are we still meeting up'?!?!?! That's what she said? Holy moly!
    Exactly! And removing his chest hair? Ahh say what now? For who? Talk about complete and total disregard for you.

    And admitting she wanted more at first? 😳😳😳 That's where it should have ended.

    No this is all so wrong and highly suss.

    You're such a lovely person. This is Bullsh*t.

    This should be a happy time for you

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    VicPark  (09-11-2014)

  3. #102
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    Quote Originally Posted by [Mod] Degrassi View Post
    You poor thing

    I wish I lived close to you, I would totally come and help you out of this mess.

    Please keep posting, we are here for you.
    Me too!

  4. #103
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    Quote Originally Posted by Serenity Love View Post
    He is now texting me telling me how unfair it is that he has been misunderstood and the woman is offering to talk to me to let me know that they didn't plan on sleeping with each other!!

    He told me his morning he ended it with her and now he's still talking to her and trying to guilt trip me and push me into a corner. F*cking dog he is. Who the hell have i married!!! Why does he need to do this now when I am about to go into fricken labor. I have told him i wont let him near our son and the baby until he has gone to see a psychologist.
    You've got to be kidding me!!! The intimacy between those two sickens me -- he will get her to call you?! Oh how f'ing GRACIOUS of her. And him. F them both! Wowser.

    Unfair is being lied to and manipulated over and over. He got caught and he doesn't want to wear the consequences.

    Cry me a river a hole. Seriously. Who cares what his motivations were. This isn't the first time or even the second by the sounds of things.

    That he was even willing to risk looking like doing anything wrong in the first place for some stranger over you -while you're pregnant - and about to give birth tells you everything you need to know.

    It's horrible and hard no matter which way you cut it staying is hard and horrid and leaving is hard also- only one of those bad feelings has an end point. The leaving one.

    You are stronger than you realize and you will be ok beautiful.

    I'm here any time you need to talk or whatever x

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  6. #104
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    Quote Originally Posted by Serenity Love View Post
    I have no choice. In my heart i would rather accept help from her than to remain with a man that has treated me like i absolutely do not matter at all. He has been hard work for the whole of our relationship and i have given him chance after chance. My only chance to one day to finally finding happiness is to accept help from my mother and kick him out of my life until after the baby is born and i am ready to let him meet her. Trust me, his apologies are far from sincere... i have heard it all before and this time he is screwed because i am sticking to my guns of which i should have done a long time ago. He and i should have never been... but i don't feel that just because we have children together now that i have to sell my soul and remain in a pathetic excuse of a marriage which is happy when he chooses, then toxic when he chooses. I can still keep my mum at arms reach - and i hate that i have had to back down to accept her in but truthfully its for the best interest of my son as i do not trust my inlaws at all. I am very confident once the ex takes my son back to their house i will not get him back unless i go over there and take him from them and i don't wish to go through that after having a baby. They aren't nice people and they have never liked me so no doubt they will make my life harder.

    Besides he is the one who pushed me away. I will never be able to let this go this time, and carry on sleeping in the same bed as him. He has treated me like i am nothing but a joke.
    You're right honey. I would do the same. You do whatever you need to do to get through this and if your mum is the lessor of two evils then so be it.

    You take care you you and your children. You are not being selfish at all. You need to try to get through this and find some calm for your new baby.
    I so badly wish I could help you

    As for the birth, the midwives will have your back. Just make sure they know he is not to be anywhere near you and they will keep him away.

    I am still shaking my head in disbelief that he got YOU to wax him to show her!! And that he admitted it was for attention or f knows. Jesus! As if you're supposed to say -'oh well that's ok then, I understand, how can I help YOU feel like you're getting enough attention'.
    It's staggeringly unreasonable that any of this should be ok for any reason.

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    quietlyhopeful  (09-11-2014)

  8. #105
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    I am going to start with the bottom line first: you will be fine. No matter the $hit if a time you have ahead it will work out.
    No matter how scary the thought is of you starting afresh, finding a new house, job, new bank accounts, getting used to having two kids... You will find yourself one night sitting down on the lounge, both kids in bed, red wine in hand, thinking "fu@k... I did it... And I comfortable in my life."

    Now here's the hard part. You have to set yourself up for success... So you reach that safe and comfy place quicker. If you need your DP to leave, then kick his **** out. If you need to rely on your mum for a bit, that's ok too.

    Please get someone to help you through this.. You need to vent... But in a way that's healthy and sets you up for success. Your GP or MACH nurse should be able to point you in the right direction. I would stay clear of that scrag of an old bit@h. I am worried that communicating with her is getting you in a tizz and distracting you from taking steps that will help you with bub and stepping out on your own. I am also worried that may be giving your DP/ex ammunition for a custody hearing.

    Stay strong.

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  10. #106
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    What @VicPark said.

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    KaraB  (09-11-2014)

  12. #107
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    uI would stay clear of that scrag of an old bit@h. I am worried that communicating with her is getting you in a tizz and distracting you from taking steps that will help you with bub and stepping out on your own. I am also worried that may be giving your DP/ex ammunition for a custody hearing.
    Agree. Continuing to contact her serves no positive purpose but to damage your mental health and possibly give him ammo to say you are unstable and unfit to look after the kids. She clearly has no remorse and you are going to get no joy from continued interactions.

    Given this is a pattern of behaviour not an isolated incident I can understand why you have put him out.

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  14. #108
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    As lots of others have said, and me before too, contact the hospital social worker, GP, Mach nurse, etc. Please do this as soon as you can as I'm really concerned about you.

    I really feel you need some physical space away from this situation to reduce your stress levels...the people above could help with that. Then you can concentrate on your health, your kids, and the future rather than getting embroiled in ongoing arguments that are doing you, your DS and unborn bub no good.

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  16. #109
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    Sooo... after not speaking to him for majority of the day after i booted him back out this morning, he turned up at the house absolutely broken tonight. Bawling his eyes out and saying sorry to me for being such a **** up, that he has so many insecurities and hates himself and doesn't want to live like this anymore and is going to finally do everything he can to change it. He told me how he has booked himself into the work psychologist to start sessions tomorrow and will also be joining the gym to start getting fit again so he feels better about himself again. He told me he is feeling scared about having a new baby even though he wants her... etc etc. and he realises he has been depressed for a while but never opened up to me and put on a cover because he didnt want to put strain on me....to then lose the plot and stress me out more than ever anyways.

    Basically for the sake of our kids and because i am in such a vulnerable situation right no, i agreed to giving it ago one last time...only because i can definitely see for myself this isn't about him not loving me, its about him hating himself. He has finally admitted he needs help and will ensure he is seeing his work psychologist on a weekly basis until further notice.

    So yeah, everything everyone has said to me has not fallen on deaf ears. I so so appreciate all of the support in here. I guess i have a hard time turning someone away when they are as broken as he was/is... but from here on if he ever ever does a single thing of this nature again, we are DONE.

    I actually feel less stressed now that its been sorted out. Baby is back moving again ... and i can tell i absolutely broke him this time and I made it clear I am only doing this one last tie because i am needing to rely on him right now so its more for a convenience thing than anything. Only because he has admitted fault and the fact he needs help is he getting this chance. His family and friends have sternly warned him to not **** up this last chance either, so this time round he has others counting on him to do the right thing - he is more on show now which will push him more into getting himself help.

    Its all up to him, im not going to change who i am and stop being the chilled out wife as its who I am, if he chooses again after all of whats happened in the past couple days to mess up again - then I will know once and for all that no matter what, he just can't do the right thing. And going by his previous mess ups, they happen every couple years .... so at least next time ill be in a much better position to confidently end it and not look back as ill have a job and my babies will be a bit older and i most definitely wont be due to give birth as we're stopping at 2. I just seem to have this urge to give him this final chance, maybe its nature making me do this as I am about to give birth. He is so relieved now. I guess even though i have backed down and allowed him back in, at least i punished him a good deal and made him truly suffer. For the kids sake i guess i just wanna see if that maybe was enough to make him snap out of it and realise what he will lose.

    I have told him i will be wanting to see some sort of proof that he has been seeing the work psychologist then. I am also thinking for this final chance, couples counseling is in order. I will admit, he did mentioned us seeking couples counseling a few months ago but i never showed much interest as I was pregnant and tired. So my bad there....

    Ugh sorry all this has turned into another one of those threads. I am so grateful for all of the advice here. I am not even sure if i will be able to ever truly forgive what he has done this time... and i guess if I can't i will have to address that then. We'll just see how it goes i suppose. I just want to consume my thoughts about the birth of my baby....so this plan seems better for me emotionally for the time being. He knows this is more out of convenience now, so one more slip up ... and that's it.
    Last edited by Serenity Love; 09-11-2014 at 23:24.

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  18. #110
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    Good luck @serenity love. I can only wish you happiness for the near future. Hopefully things turn out for the better and some positive energy comes your way in time for your DDs birth. Best of luck. xx

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