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    Default Step kids playing mum and step off against dad and step mum

    How do you deal with step kids playing mum and step dad off against dad and step mum?
    DSD has just started this, its like she's trying to work out where she can get the better deal in a sense. I find it extremely frustrating!

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    I have no advice - just want to offer some

    its so hard ... kids are tricky enough, but with 2 sets its twice as hard when they start with the manipulating


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    Thank you it is hard especially when bio mum guilts DSD in to doing the opposite of what she wants, that is week on week off... so now DSD is playing all of us..

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    Quote Originally Posted by AMC14 View Post
    Thank you it is hard especially when bio mum guilts DSD in to doing the opposite of what she wants, that is week on week off... so now DSD is playing all of us..

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    How good is the relationship between your DP/DH and DSD's mum? A really quick way to squash it out is to be completely open and honest with DSD's mum. I'm sure she doesn't want DSD doing this either so she might be completely open to stopping the behavior straight away. If communication isn't wonderful you can always try the 'this is the way that we do it here'.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Best Things View Post
    How good is the relationship between your DP/DH and DSD's mum? A really quick way to squash it out is to be completely open and honest with DSD's mum. I'm sure she doesn't want DSD doing this either so she might be completely open to stopping the behavior straight away. If communication isn't wonderful you can always try the 'this is the way that we do it here'.
    DP usually just cruises along, he doesn't like conflict or upsetting anyone so usually if something has to be said I'll say it... except in situations like this one because he knows I'll pretty much just lose my sh!t.... his ex after 10 years still thinks they will get back together even though she has moved on..
    We have tried that before however she really isn't in to the whole "co parenting" thing she likes to be in the drivers seat so to speak

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    maybe push her into driving this then.

    Set something up to meet with them, say 'this is what appears to be happening, how would you like us to handle it?' We want to support what you are doing, and not undermine anything you say, so when the kids are at your house, how are you approaching 'xyz'?

    If they are doing it differently to you, have that discussion about what might work ... but if you give her the control she may react better.


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    Turn the tables on DSD by having a 'parents' meeting, discuss anything that needs addressing

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    Quote Originally Posted by BH-KatiesMum View Post
    maybe push her into driving this then.

    Set something up to meet with them, say 'this is what appears to be happening, how would you like us to handle it?' We want to support what you are doing, and not undermine anything you say, so when the kids are at your house, how are you approaching 'xyz'?

    If they are doing it differently to you, have that discussion about what might work ... but if you give her the control she may react better.

    Good idea... she likes to think she's in control...
    Thank you

    Quote Originally Posted by RmumR View Post
    Turn the tables on DSD by having a 'parents' meeting, discuss anything that needs addressing
    Anythings worth a go at the moment....
    Thank you



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