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  1. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Didn't get home until 6...
    Bub/toddler/hubby Showers
    Breastfeed baby
    Unpack shopping
    Clean up baby spew on lounge
    Cook toddler dinner as forgot it wasn't pre-prepared like it usually is
    Feed toddler
    Play with baby
    Clean up veggies toddler spat out
    Toddler in naughty corner x 1
    Bub in bed at 7
    Feed toddler rest of dinner
    Clean crayon off tiles
    Toddler in naughty corner x 2
    Wrap present that has to be posted next day
    Clean mess from kids dinner
    Clean poo from potty
    Check bub hub
    Duck off to have a shower
    Prep adults dinner
    Toddler teeth, book
    8pm toddler in bed
    8:00-8:30 cook dinner for adults

    Yeah room for improvement I know. But to have a reasonably familiar house guest sit on their **** while all this goes on ... wait for dinner to be served... then leave their plate/empty beer bottle on the table... I'm calling that lazy and inconsiderate.
    In this case yes, I would be annoyed and consider it lazy. Heck, my grandad (76) has a lot of health problems and issues with his hips etc, he is also pretty set in his routine and sits down of a night to watch the news but he still at leasts reads a book/occupies the kids if I am busy or at the very least asks if there is anything he can do (to which I sternly reply he needs to sit down and relax ).

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  2. #82
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia View Post
    Cos your routine is not mine. I just wouldn't know where to help and I certainly don't interfere in other people's cooking styles.

    Cos in my little world and house I'd never be cooking dinner in the evening at that time for kids or myself.

    I'd also not be wrapping presents till way later after bed. Or tidying till kids passed out.

    What I'm trying to say vp is that I've got a similar gap in my kids but our parenting styles and methods vary so greatly that I would rather do nothing than offend you in your house.

    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.
    But... I'm sure you would at least OFFER to help, no?

  3. #83
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    Quote Originally Posted by HopefulK View Post
    But... I'm sure you would at least OFFER to help, no?
    Not if I had no idea on how they would normally do things or if we were very different people. Nor would I offer if I knew they were fussy about how they like things done.

    Like I said, I wouldn't ever want to offend the host by doing things the wrong way.

    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.

  4. #84
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    I expect them to play with DD because that's why they stay with us but otherwise I don't expect anything... If they're keeping her entertained I can do all the bits I need to do anyway.

  5. #85
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia View Post
    Not if I had no idea on how they would normally do things or if we were very different people. Nor would I offer if I knew they were fussy about how they like things done.

    Like I said, I wouldn't ever want to offend the host by doing things the wrong way.

    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.
    I still don't get this. I mean I totally get that you don't want to be in people's hair when they are frazzled ... And that's great...but IMO there's no excuse for slinking off and doing absolutely nothing while your hosts are running around like busy bees.

    You can ask what they would like you to do. If they say nothing, then you back off and give them space. If they say "chop the carrots" you can ask "would you like me to chop them long or round." There is no reason why an offer of help needs to be a problem for the hosts....?... In my circle at least the greatest risk of causing offence would come from not offering to help at all.
    Last edited by VicPark; 07-11-2014 at 13:48.

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    LaDiDah  (07-11-2014)

  7. #86
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    General helping of tidying up after dinner - washing/drying up, clearing the table etc.

    My parents also try and give us $50 or so to contribute to groceries

    They also look after DS for me if I need to get something done- eg: last time they were here I really needed to get some work done and they pretty much looked after him all day for one day while I stayed in the office/study.

    If they are here a few days mum would also offer to hang out washing or do something like that.

    They generally offer to help cook dinner, but DH cooks and likes to do it himself and they know that. They still offer though, even though they know he'll decline.
    Last edited by Justwant2beamummy; 07-11-2014 at 13:36.

  8. #87
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    I will always offer to help. If I stay at someone's house I will wash the dishes without being asked. Always clean up after ourselves in regards to bedding etc

    If its someone at my house it depends what mood im in, sometimes I accept the help especially with cooking, other times im so chuffed with their politeness that I shoo them away

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    Mummy5ormore  (07-11-2014)

  10. #88
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    My parents used to live away and came to stay pretty regularly for between 3 days and 2 weeks. The only thing I expected was they play with and do stuff with the kids, which they always offered to do (bath them, read bedtime stories, play with them while I was cooking etc). If they offered to help I would usually say, nah, just play with the kids. They were there primarily to visit the kids though.

    They would usually shout us a meal out while they were down, cleaned up after themselves (stripped the bed etc when leaving). I never felt it was a chore having them.

    I guess in your situation I would be honest, say they are making more work for you and it would be helpful if they could do X.

  11. #89
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia View Post
    this has been a fascinating thread to read. I often have guests over to visit or stay for a bit. In my house guests are not expected to do anything other than look after their own personal hygiene. I will wash all their laundry and give it back folded/ironed as needed. Usually I will prepare all their favourite foods/snacks and stock up pantry/fridge as per their likes. If I'm going to work before they wake up I usually leave pancakes or eggs in the oven keeping warm as needed.

    BUT I have fabulous family and friends that help out all the time when they visit.

    My mother will mind the kids, wash up as needed, bring in clothes off the line, bath kids, tidy playroom, feed the kids etc

    my dad only visits briefly but will always bring a meal for me and treats for the kids. he wont toilet or bath the kids but will play/mind them whilst I attend to the housework.

    my MIL is brilliant. she cooks, cleans, bakes, irons, tidies the house, washes/sorts/puts away laundry, changes sheets as needed, vacuums, grocery shops, sorts out the kids toys/clothing if needed, buys me flowers/presents, gets up to the kids overnight/early morning so I can rest. plus she is great with the kids

    my FIL not so brilliant. but he loves the kids and will walk a crying baby for hours.

    my friends are lovely- they always arrive with coffee/cake

    I don't ask anyone to do anything for me but I do appreciate the help.
    Wow you have fabulous family/in laws/friends! Sounds wonderful

  12. #90
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    Im very surprised that you are tip toeing around your father like that.

    Just call it like it is. Nothing like some honest brutal truth

    It's fairly ok to expect that they clean behind themselves etc.

    When my parents visit yes I expect then to pull their weight. I do the same when I visit them or my brothers.
    We're all adults and it's nice to do stuff together! I would never dream of doing nothing while staying with family.

    Actually my ILs are like that. When we visit them we are not allowed to do anything!! No cooking, no cleaning, no laundry, it's like being at a hotel but better.
    I was so uncomfortable the first week I stayed with them but now I understand that's how they roll.
    They are coming to visit us for the first time... 4 weeks... You just made me realize it might be our turn to be their maids!


 

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