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  1. #71
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    I'm a horrible host! I feed my guests, provide clean bedding and towels but don't go out of my way change my day around for them! I just go on business as usual and if they offer to help great, if they don't well that's annoying but I'm happy to ignore them until in done doing things! It's always hubby's family who stay so that probably makes a difference to how much of a hassle I feel they are.

    If it were my family staying id probably expect more because I would feel
    Comfortable asking them to do things!

  2. #72
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    I hate people doing stuf when they are guests.

    I however have been an extended guest a few times. I tend to clean to my standards (a lot higher then anyone elses it seems), cook and tidy afterwards as well as make sure my kids are entertained and not breaking anything.

    One time this was not good enough at 28 weeks pregnant (with a a high risk pregnancy having braxton hicks and full on swelling) so they kicked us out as i would not serve the host her wine. It cost us over $1000 to fly home. (ex father in law and his wife over christmas so they could meet their grandchild for a week).

    The other time i am at my in laws and they love having me stay as i am a clean freak and they are not. I even clean the insides of the cfs trucks and bake up a storm so their freezer is full. "oh no, strawberry baked cheesecake is not you fav, i will whip up a chocolate pudding too"!

  3. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    That doesn't make sense to me ... Many people would find doing nothing while others are obviously over-worked as rude... Not many people would think a "what can I do to help?" Question as rude..?...
    As I said we are very different. I Dont expect my guests to help. It's their choice but how are they to know how I do things or the order I do them? I know when I visit other people I disappear when they look frazzled as I don't like people helping/hindering when I'm rushed.

    I think you expect your guests to just know what to do. If you want help then ask. I on the other hand hate people in my kitchen when I'm home so I don't interfere in other people's houses unless asked.

    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.

  4. #74
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    Quote Originally Posted by ProudMumma34 View Post
    I don't expect anything at all from my parents or from house guests. It's only 4 days. If I was really busy doing stuff and had a crying baby I'd ask my parents to watch my child whilw i attend to whatrver it is. But it sounds like you expect too much from your parents and I find it quite bizarre that you have these expectations of them and would call them lazy!
    I think the point is, that her father creates more work for her and expects to be waited on - so it's more like having another child in the house! Stressing over having to get the kids organised and in bed and then turning around and having to cook your father dinner because he is too lazy to get up and help isn't cool. Especially considering they invited themselves as they needed somewhere to stay - it doesn't read to me that they were coming to spend good quality time, more so to use the free accommodation.

  5. #75
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    I don't expect help, though I would find it a bit unusual if guests stayed for 4 nights and didn't once offer to help with anything at all.

    Usually when people have stayed at our place (namely family) they're always quick to step in and help clean up after meals by doing dishes.

  6. #76
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    Quote Originally Posted by anewme View Post
    Parents - wipe up, watch and play with children. Make their own cuppas.

    Others - nothing at all.
    This is pretty much my opinion too

  7. #77
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    Not read any other replies but when my parents stay with us (also in 60s and I have same number of kids as you, young toddler and pre schooler) my mum does a lot. She'll cook a meal, help clean up, run around after the kids....basically like she was at her own home. My step dad does less cleaning up, but still helps a lot with kids and does cooking.

    I think with close family I do expect this, it's just how we are. But other family members, no. We host them more.

  8. #78
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    I wouldn't expect them to help with cleaning/cooking, but it would be nice if they offered at least. If they were staying for over a week I would probably expect a little help, especially if they are adding to the washing/dishes pile.

    I would be happy enough if they entertained the kids while I cooked dinner or whatever. Or maybe even assisted with bath/bedtime.

  9. #79
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    I must say we don't have visitors who stay too often but when they do they're pretty good. Mum and dad moved interstate last year and dad lived with us for 2-3 months while he was sorting out their house to rent. While he was here he was hardly here during the days as he was out at the house, but would still put dishes in the dishwasher, empty dishwasher, wash/dry/put away dishes that had been hand washed, strip his bed on the days I washed the sheets and then make it again and clean up after himself. He was a pretty good houseguest really. My sister has stayed with us a few times too when her DS was young (6 months and 9 months). As she had him to contend with I didn't expect much from her, but she still helped out - cooked a meal, did dishes etc. We sort of swapped jobs. I'd bath my nephew and she would do some of the chores. Worked well for me!

    When I'm the guest I'd like to think I'm helpful. When I stay with my aunt & uncle (4 kids) I do try to help out with the kids as much as I can. I'll happily bath the youngest, change nappies etc, chase the older 3 into the shower, read bedtime stories etc. I'll also put dishes on the sink (my uncle is very particular about how the dishwasher is stacked so I just don't go there haha) and unpack dishwasher. I'll help with dinner and /or cook if my aunt lets me. Usually one night I'm there I'll shout dinner for everyone - Chinese, pizza etc. I keep getting asked to come back so I must be doing something right! I've also been known to iron/fold clothes and towels if there are multiple baskets stacked up. I'll tend to only do the kids stuff though. I don't want to iron business shirts the "wrong way" (I don't iron DHs because he's anal about it only being done the way his mum taught him. Suits me!).

    When at Mum and Dad's I'll cook dinner, clean the kitchen and keep my space tidy. It's a small house so it's hard to get around if it's messy. Plus my nephew makes more mess than I do so I figure if anyone should clean up its my sister

  10. #80
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Didn't get home until 6...
    Bub/toddler/hubby Showers
    Breastfeed baby
    Unpack shopping
    Clean up baby spew on lounge
    Cook toddler dinner as forgot it wasn't pre-prepared like it usually is
    Feed toddler
    Play with baby
    Clean up veggies toddler spat out
    Toddler in naughty corner x 1
    Bub in bed at 7
    Feed toddler rest of dinner
    Clean crayon off tiles
    Toddler in naughty corner x 2
    Wrap present that has to be posted next day
    Clean mess from kids dinner
    Clean poo from potty
    Check bub hub
    Duck off to have a shower
    Prep adults dinner
    Toddler teeth, book
    8pm toddler in bed
    8:00-8:30 cook dinner for adults

    Yeah room for improvement I know. But to have a reasonably familiar house guest sit on their **** while all this goes on ... wait for dinner to be served... then leave their plate/empty beer bottle on the table... I'm calling that lazy and inconsiderate.
    As much as I said I expect guests to do nothing, now that you have explained the circumstance I believe I'm siding with you VP. If I had that much going on though, my mum would have been doing just as much as me. There is no way she would have sat there and waited for dinner and I wouldn't have had to ask either. My dad however, would have sat and watched TV. Maybe it's a older male thing? But yes, in this situation I would have expected a bit of help.

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to HeavenBlue For This Useful Post:

    VicPark  (07-11-2014)


 

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